Well this is my first ever Race Report swinging from the arse end of a Suzuki Applecross - #47. So excuse the utter crap that is to follow.
It all started when I got a text from Tracey Bryan that said “I found you a ride” My heart stopped and my sphincter kindly took up the job my heart had given up on. Was later informed that said riders nearly completed classic sidecar was not going to be ready and that he would be taking his other sidecar – this would now mean him riding at full race pace with a newbie on the back. Utter relief swept over me when Tracey told me she would swing instead.
Truth be told, I did feel a little pang of disappointment that I would be relegated back to camp mum.
Tracey being the tenacious and passionate woman that she is went on a mission to find me a ride. And of course she did succeed.
All of a sudden it was Saturday morning, practice day - YAYE!! The nervous contractions closed in on me. Maybe I should look into Kiwisoft giving me some sponsorship?! Met up with Barry Fane – my rider, such a lovely man. He informs me that he has never ridden this sidecar before nor had he been around the track. I think that was when some poo fell out. But he said we would just take it easy and have some fun. I like this man already!!
First practice I was very excited, but shitting myself all at the same time time. To be honest the first practice was a bit of a blur. All I remember was after the 4th lap the fatigue was starting to kick in. Throughout the fifth and final lap I was saying to myself – just hang the fuck on and go from side to side. Our best practice lap for the day - 1m41
What an awesome day, after every practice I felt I was improving just that little bit more. What a ride – there are no words (in my limited vocabulary) that can describe the feeling. Hanging off the arse end of a sidecar is fucking fun!!
My first ever race and it was pissing downfeck! My poor little sphincter went into a constant state of spasm. Barry was a little nervous too. He didn’t want to wreck Des’ sidecar, which by the way, was/is for sale. Des and Warren were frantically changing us over to wets, so the decision was taken out of our hands. Cunning buggers they are.
Well what can I say…we certainly weren’t fast – but I couldn’t give a rat’s arse. I FARKEN LOVED IT!! I had the most fun ever and I fell in love with swinging.
BIG MASSIVE THANK YOU to…
Barry Fane - for letting a newbie swinger swing for him.
Paul Fane - for not being able to swing ... teeeheeee. (although I felt sorry for him and let him have a go on Monday, then promptly regretted the decision - you better farken buy it)
Des and Warren - for sharing their toy with us.
Tracey Bryan - for scoring me a ride and it is all your fault, for I am completely hooked.
Steve Bryan - for your little pearls of wisdom that saw me make it through the weekend without falling off.
Scrivvy - for not sticking anything in Gordies bum. That's my job.
The other Sidecar Racers - you fullas and fullesses are just an awesome lot!!
And of course to Gordie - the man of my dreams, who was there taking care of me even when the Beemer “wrecked his go”.
A little girl falls in love...
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Originally Posted by skippa1
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