2009 Aprilia Tuono R
I like naked bikes. I like them a lot. Particularly when they look sexy and malevolent whilst leaning on their side stands.
It was this malevolence, heightened by an extremely sexy blue-and-white chequerboard paint job, that attracted me to today's ride, a 2009 Aprilia Tuono R.

Styling, chassis and bodywork by Aprilia. Suspension by Showa and Sachs. Engine by Rotax. In 2009 Aprilia was new to engine construction, at that time only building the 750 V-twin mill that starred in the Shiver. Unlike Aprilia's own 90 degree V-twins, the Rotax 1000 that stars in this Tuono is a 60 degree V-twin.
Hopping on, most of the switches and controls are in the usual places. Points of difference include a kill button, rather than a switch. Click it and it stays in. Click it again to pop it out and turn it off. Similarly there's a headlight dip button rather than a switch. There's a sliding switch on the left-hand control set that lets one scroll between the odometer and each of the two trip meters. That could be useful, given that there is no fuel gauge, only a warning light.
Instrumentation is spartan. There's an analogue tach and digital everything else. That includes speed, odometer, clock and an extremely precise engine temperature indicator. Fuel gauge? No. Gear position indicator? No. Trip computer? No. Although spartan, what's there is easy to read and to understand. How trip meters are reset is not easy to figure out. One would need to read the manual to find the answer to that question.
Mirrors are well positioned and offer an acceptable and vibration-free view behind.
The 1000cc mill is smooth. It's also gutless. I was expecting much more, and was initially fooled by some quite lumpy low-speed fuelling that this engine would offer a bit of excitement. Sorry, no. I have no idea where the torque peak may be as revs just build without offering much other than a louder exhaust note. I'll have to check the manual to find the answer to that question as well.
There's a six-speed, close-ratio gearbox. This is notchy but otherwise OK. It takes a couple of seconds for the neutral light to come on, so one needs to take one's time looking for that break in transmission. Clutch weight from the hydraulic set-up is fine.
Brakes are by Brembo and are just fabulous. I'm a sucker for a lovely set of stoppers and these babies are sublimely good.
The seat looks hard and unyielding and it is. But my arse was untroubled by it. Mind you, arse and seat were together for slightly less than an hour, but usually a seat starts to demonstrate any evil intent it may have before that length of time.
Pillion set up? I went and tracked down my Gold Standard Pillion. “You want me to get on there?” she said in that way that apprehensive pillions often do. Gold Standard that she is, she did. I understand that pillion legroom is tight and there is absolutely nothing for them to hang onto other than Rider Love Handles(TM). Enough said.
Yes, I went for a ride. The suspension set up was OK and seemed to adapt nicely to my mass.
I was expecting a “street fighter” like this Tuono to, well, street fight. Instead I found it to be a bit of a whale. It felt like the front tyre was flat and showed no interest whatsoever in flickability. Something I always do when riding a bike is to weave cats-eyes down the centreline of the highway. If a bike can do this effortlessly at 70kmh, then I'll give it a pass. Most bikes I've ever owned can do this to my expectations. The Tuono, however, was extremely reluctant and indeed quite uncomfortable being asked to perform this task. What was it shod with? Michelin Pilot Powers. I wouldn't be racing out to buy a set based on today's ride.
The headlights are great. There's four of these – two low beamers and two high beamers. I didn't take these out at night to see how well they worked, but the reflections off the back of a courier's Hiace really impressed me.
I didn't check fuel economy, but presume this shouldn't be too bad if the bike is nerdled. 100Kmh is 3,500rpm in top gear, so the engine isn't being asked to work that hard at highway speeds.
Did I enjoy it? Yes. I'd give it 3.5 stars out of 5. Would I buy one? No.
Many thanks to Clint at Wellington Motorcycles for today's ride.
"Standing on your mother's corpse you told me that you'd wait forever." [Bryan Adams: Summer of 69]
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