The API and UPI newswires have reported that the French Government has raised it's terror alert level from "run" to "hide". The only two higher alerts are "surrender" and "collaborate".
The rise was precipitated by a fire, which destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively disabling their military forces.
The Italians have raised their alert level from "shouting excitedly" to "elaborate military posturing". Two more levels remain "ineffective combat operations" and "change sides".
The Germans have also increased their alert level from "disdainful arrogance" to "full dress uniform and marching songs". They have two higher levels "invade a neighbour" and "lose".
Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from "isolationism" to "find somewhere ripe for regime change".
Their remaining alert levels are "take on the world" and "ask Britain for help".
Australia, following the US lead, has increased it's alert level from "crikey cobber" to "strewth".
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