Metal Bonding.

[ManDownUnder]

Someone close to me has Alzheimers, and it's not pretty.

The one thing I'd suggest (it worked for my Step father) is a single list that stays on the fridge. It's always there, and it's always got the things "to do" on it.

It helps and restores a little dignity for a while...

Good luck with it...

[Flyingpony]

I've had close and distant family members come down with some of the illnesses mentioned in this thread, and some other illnesses too.

Each illness on their own or combined with others, places a huge financial, physical and emotional toll on family members and to a lesser degree friends.

It's very mixed emotions when they die. We're sad they're gone but we're also happy that they are. They're no longer suffering and family/friends have had some weight removed from their shoulders.

Don't take this the wrong way, once you've experienced something, you'll understand where I'm coming from.

[Motu]

When I lived on Waiheke Island,not far from our workshop was a home for metho's,and some would wander the area.One hung around the garge and we called him 2/6,because he'd flip into pounds shilling and pence mid sentence.He was a bit of a klepto,and once he stole a driveshaft,another time a complete exhaust system from cars I was working on out in the yard,he would come in and try to sell us old Milo tins for $2,sometimes he'd ask for empty BicFlics and want to give us $2 for them....or 2/6 some days.

What interested me about him was that he was obviously an engineer at some more coherant point in his life - he knew I rode bikes and sometimes he'd show me a worn hand drawn picture of a bike he'd designed yesterday...''It's 55mm by 55mm,125cc,27 deg rake and has a 4.00 x 18 on the rear Curtis Wright cyls were hard to get in the Pacific would you like this tin to keep your parts in you will find it very usefull'' His brain would just flip from one point in his life to the next without pause.Sometimes we'd hand him some part off the bench and you could see the parthways in his brain slip from track to track like an old rotary telephone exchange...tick,tick,tick - ''bevel hypoid pinion,9 teeth,most likely 3.57:1 ratio do you have a lighter I can refill them'' Sad,damaged by a disease,but secondary damage really because it was the meths that burnt his brain.

[Wolf]

Both my grandparents on my mother's side got Alzheimer's.

Grandad was an avid reader of anything, instilled in our entire family a love of books and "knowledge for knowledge's sake", taught mum (first born) to do carpentry (a great carpenter in his day, he even turned his hand to making violins), hunt, box (as in "fisticuffs"), fish and many other things. I remember him as a man with an avid interest in science and the world around him. A carpenter, award-winning gardener, bantam-weight boxer, avid motorcyclist, hunter and fisherman among other things. He lived through two World Wars and the Great Depression (and only had one week off work during that time which he took voluntarily in order to service his motorbike so he would have reliable transport for his next job), he saw Haley's Comet when the Earth passed through its tail and vowed to live to see it again (he did, and thought it was a dud).

I also remember him unable to remember anyone's names and getting confused as to who we were or what he was doing.

Grandma was a great singer (was even recorded, mum had the old 78rpm record), as devoutly Christian as Grandad was convinced of evolution, very supportive of her local church and the church choir. She travelled the country with Grandad with the entire family in tow as they moved to where there was work.

They had to be separated in later years as she became more senile - she started getting paranoid that Grandad had died and would wake him up constantly during the night, frightened by the silence when he slept.

There are many jokes about Alzheimer's and senile decay of various types - but it's not a lot of fun when it is your loved ones - especially when you remember how lively their minds once were and how talented they were.

Mum and Dad had it better - mum died of a heart attack before emphysema could claim her - still in possession of her mental faculties - and dad was teaching his trade (upholstery) to his students when his aorta burst. As my nephew put it: "that's the way to go: have breakfast, miss lunch and not be around for dinner." I can't say he's wrong about that. At least dad was able to function properly right up to the end.

[TonyB]

........Wilkie was there on one of his ''bad'' days,and when he went over to comfort John and saw the dispair in his eyes the answer came as a blow to his heart - he gave him a 6in Cresent from his pocket and John clutched it like a frightend child to a stuffed toy.

......Wilkie damn near broke down and cried as John snatched the tools off him and began tearing into the 8hp Briggs & Stratton as if his life depended on it.From then on John was first at the workshop door,so he could pull his motor apart and put it back together again,with a few jealous spectators.

Damit Motu! I've got a tear in my eye and a lump in my throat after reading that. I can't imagine what it must be like someone like John- trapped in a malfunctioning body. The mind is still fine, but the body refuses.... and you can't even talk about it... eveyone treats you like you're retarded but your concious self is fine. Hell on earth.

[Motu]

Yeah....my friend with Parkinsons knows he's going to have a good day if he can brush his teeth - he puts toothpaste on the brush,lifts it to his mouth....and stands in front of the mirror in dispare as he doesn't know how to make the next bit happen.I had a glimps of how it feels when I tore the ligament in my forearm in 2000,I could lift the brush to my mouth,but not brush....lift the kettle,but not pour into my coffee cup.

[Beemer]

My father's cancer spread to his brain and he died a not particularly pleasant death in 2001, after months of suffering. During his last year or two he had similar symptoms to Alzheimers - he would stare at us vacantly and not seem to be with us at all, and he also became very aggressive. Thankfully the aggression was not physical (although he did a great line in slamming doors!), but the abuse he could hurl would cut to the bone. He became very irrational and would cry at the slightest hint of emotion on tv. Towards the end he just drifted off and I really don't even know if he knew we were with him or not.

It was particularly hard for me to see him like this because he was the typical kiwi bloke - left school at 14 to become a shepherd on a sheep station near Gisborne, moved to Wellington and was a tram driver, then had a variety of jobs before moving into sales, where he worked for about 30 years. We (Mum and us four kids) moved around a bit and ended up in Whakatane for about 16 years. They bought a bookshop and had that for six years before returning to Wellington to retire.

Dad and I were the wordsmiths in the family - the only two who could spell and who knew the right word to use! He loved reading my articles and we used to see who could get the highest score on the Pays to Enrich Your Word Power tests in the Readers Digest. When he became ill, he stopped reading because he couldn't concentrate for long enough for it all to make sense.

The cruelest diseases are those that take away someone's mind - their spirit, really. I only hope when my turn comes, I go quickly and painlessly, and don't end up suffering and creating anguish for my family.

[texmo]

Bugger that, the worst part is the way society as a whole looks at them or treats them so they end up being couped inside all day getting depressed.

[Eurygnomes]

Okay...so now I'm tearing up too (that's teering, not tareing).

I'm very fortunate to not have had any experience with wasting disorders (either of the mind, or of the muscle). They all sound the most dreadful conditions, and are a reason I'm firmly entrenched in the "pro-euthanasia" side of that particular debate. I know what I'd want (she says, from her marvellously narrow and still indestructible 28yr old point of view).

My grandfather died of stomach cancer. Seeing him waste away from the hulk of a bloke he had been was hard - and we were seeing it from a great distance. Even harder to deal with was the knowledge that his wife and (other) children (than my father) decided to condemn him to his death by not TELLING him that he had the option of having surgery to remove the growth. The reason they didn't do it/tell him? Because there was a smalll chance he'd die on the table. However, the surgeons wanted to do it, and the family knew that Granddad would want to go ahead and take his chances, but his crazy (now senile, poor thing) wife didn't want to risk it.

Now THAT was sad. And is the stuff that siblings lose touch over also.

[pete376403]

Old timers disease isn't so bad...you get to meet many new friends every day

This is not the right thread for that line.

[Dadpole]

Originally Posted by Pixie
Old timers disease isn't so bad...you get to meet many new friends every day

Liked it myself. Before the rocks start bouncing off my head; my mother had it and spent the last two years of her life in a "secure" home. Died just before last Xmas, and for her last six months did not know who I was. I would tell her and 30 seconds later she would ask me who I was.

Jokes (especially good ones) help to cope with that sort of thing

[ManDownUnder]

Originally Posted by Pixie
Old timers disease isn't so bad...you get to meet many new friends every day

Liked it myself. Before the rocks start bouncing off my head; my mother had it and spent the last two years of her life in a "secure" home. Died just before last Xmas, and for her last six months did not know who I was. I would tell her and 30 seconds later she would ask me who I was.

Jokes (especially good ones) help to cope with that sort of thing

Sounds like you made it through a lot better than most. Well done.

I think the joke posted made flies in the face of the tone and content of ther original and subsequent posts however.

No bad bling for it, but I think the incredible amount of pain that's out there is something to take into consideration before letting rip with one liners. It seems to have stepped on a number of toes - mine included.

MDU