Ladies. If a man says he will fix it, he will. No need to remind him about it every six months.

My sex life is like a Ferrari - I don't have a Ferrari...

I heard a guy complaining about how expensive his wedding is. He's gonna be really pissed when he finds out how much his divorce is gonna cost.

Tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes. (cow!)

Nasa's robot, "Curiosity" landed on Mars. Early pictuires show no signs of ESPN, beer or porn. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars.