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Thread: Cats vs Dogs

  1. #1
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    Cats vs Dogs

    DOGS vs CATS

    Have you ever realized that children are like dogs-loyal and affectionate,but teenagers are like cats... It's so easy to be a dog owner.

    You feed it, train it, boss it around. And yet it still puts its head on your knee and gazes at you as if you were a Rembrandt painting and bounds
    indoors with enthusiasm when you call it.

    Then around age 13, your adoring little puppy turns into a cat.
    When you tell it to come inside, it looks amazed, as if wondering who died
    and made you emperor.

    Instead of dogging your doorsteps, it disappears. You won't see it again until it gets hungry.
    Then it pauses on its sprint through the kitchen long enough to turn its nose up at whatever you're serving.

    When you reach out to ruffle its head, in that old affectionate gesture, it twists away from you, then gives you a blank stare, as if trying to remember
    where it has seen you before.

    You, not realizing that the dog is now a cat, think something must be desperately wrong. It seems so antisocial, so distant. It won't go on family outings.

    Since you're the one who raised it, taught it to fetch and stay and sit on command, you assume that you did something wrong.

    Flooded with guilt and fear, you redouble your efforts to make your pet behave. Only now you're dealing with a cat, so everything that worked before now produces the opposite of the desired result.
    Call it, and it runs away. Tell it to sit, and it jumps on the counter.
    The more you go toward it, with open arms, the more it moves away.

    Instead of continuing to act like a dog owner, you should learn to behave like a cat owner. Put a dish of food near the door, and let it come to you. Sit still, and it will come, seeking that warm, comforting lap it has not entirely forgotten. Be there to open the door for it.

    And just remember...

    One day your grown-up child will walk into the kitchen, give you a big kiss and say, "You've been on your feet all day. Let me get those dishes for you."

    Then you'll realize your cat is now a dog again!
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  2. #2
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    Aaaah yes, but affection from a cat means something.
    Speed doesn't kill people.
    Stupidity kills people.

  3. #3
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    Our little 'effer has just made our kitchen look like blackbird exploded in it, feathers to Africa, bastard.....
    Winding up drongos, foil hat wearers and over sensitive KBers for over 14,000 posts...........
    " Life is not a rehearsal, it's as happy or miserable as you want to make it"

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by scumdog
    Our little 'effer has just made our kitchen look like blackbird exploded in it, feathers to Africa, bastard.....
    Its telling you that you don't feed it enough..... or that it likes black feathers in the kitchen?!

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by DemonWolf
    Its telling you that you don't feed it enough..... or that it likes black feathers in the kitchen?!
    Fat git gets fed enough... and I don't care if he DOES like black feathers, HE doesn't have to 'lux them up.
    Winding up drongos, foil hat wearers and over sensitive KBers for over 14,000 posts...........
    " Life is not a rehearsal, it's as happy or miserable as you want to make it"

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by scumdog
    Our little 'effer has just made our kitchen look like blackbird exploded in it, feathers to Africa, bastard.....
    Ahh, the 'great provider' comes to the fore again! You're 'lucky' to get such quality game SD; ours only brings us wetas!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lou Girardin
    Aaaah yes, but affection from a cat means something.
    Indeed, affection on the cat's terms. A cat chooses to 'grant' affection from time to time to those it deems worthy...
    Quote Originally Posted by xerxesdaphat View Post
    V4! VFR800s sound like some sort of alien rocket-ship coming to probe all of our women and destroy our cities

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phurrball
    Ahh, the 'great provider' comes to the fore again! You're 'lucky' to get such quality game SD; ours only brings us wetas!
    What! You're confessing to your cat's decimation of a native species? I suppose it has native birds for dessert, and skinks and geckos for snacks!
    ... and that's what I think.

    Or summat.


    Or maybe not...

    Dunno really....


  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by vifferman
    What! You're confessing to your cat's decimation of a native species? I suppose it has native birds for dessert, and skinks and geckos for snacks!

    Argh! Snapped! The postscript is that she has yet to kill one [unless she gobbles them all day when we're not home]...

    I pick the wee [and not so wee] wetas up and take 'em back outside They seem pretty hardy, and man can wetas hold on to carpet!

    She did catch a *tiny* mouse once, never a bird...incompetent pedigree cat making 'token' hunting efforts to convince us of her worthiness...[Not that we need to be convinced]
    Quote Originally Posted by xerxesdaphat View Post
    V4! VFR800s sound like some sort of alien rocket-ship coming to probe all of our women and destroy our cities

  9. #9
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    What you really need to worry about is when your wee darling brings you partially eaten morsels that are still alive in the middle of the night.
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  10. #10
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    We have two cats and a kitten and all like hunting. Flash, the big, fat, lazy black and white male, brings home rabbits and disembowels them on the carpet in the bedroom, or rips the wings off magpies (after they dive bombed him one day!) and brings the bodies into the kitchen. Beemer, Flash's tabby mother, brings home mice and birds and lets them go, still alive. Monday night the tabby kitten, Smooch, brought home a mouse and was playing with it in our bedroom. I got it off her but the little sod of a mouse bit me twice before I could release it outside! She also brought home a finch last week, but I managed to get that off her before she damaged it and it lived to fly another day!

    But then you look at Smooch's cute little face and she is instantly forgiven...
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    Yes, I am pedantic about spelling and grammar so get used to it!

  11. #11
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    Like the ad says, "4,000 years ago cats were worshipped, they have never forgotten it".
    Speed doesn't kill people.
    Stupidity kills people.

  12. #12
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    Mum's cat brings her rabbits (leaves the skin, one ear, and two feet - everytime), eels (then lets them slither around the kitchen - leaves one hell of a snail trail) and once brought home a chicken from the neighbours run.

    Still, her old cat was once caught red-handed in the middle of the night by a neighbour in their kitchen - in a battle to the death with the neighbours dog (german shepperd) over the xmas turkey that had been left on the bench. Plus he brought home another neighbours talking parrot. Mum never did fess up to that . . . but she never liked that neighbour anyway - he tried to nick a couple of acres of Mum's land by shifting the boundary - as if she wouldnt notice!

  13. #13
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    Thumbs up Cute?

    Quote Originally Posted by Beemer
    But then you look at Smooch's cute little face and she is instantly forgiven...
    Oh no! You started the 'cute' thing...you are so right though, our little shite gets away with murder [how could she not? ]

    [Sorry, I just couldn't help it...]
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    Quote Originally Posted by xerxesdaphat View Post
    V4! VFR800s sound like some sort of alien rocket-ship coming to probe all of our women and destroy our cities

  14. #14
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    Sooo cute, Phurrball! Looks a lot like Smooch - she has the spots on her tummy too. Was so good the first few weeks we had her from the SPCA - then found that wallpaper was tasty, worms and moths were fun to bring inside and play with - and now she has graduated to finches and mice! But when she climbs on your knee or gets into bed for a snuggle, well, it just confirms why I love cats - when they want to (and only then!), they can be so sweet!
    Yes, I am pedantic about spelling and grammar so get used to it!

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beemer
    Sooo cute, Phurrball! Looks a lot like Smooch - she has the spots on her tummy too. Was so good the first few weeks we had her from the SPCA - then found that wallpaper was tasty, worms and moths were fun to bring inside and play with - and now she has graduated to finches and mice! But when she climbs on your knee or gets into bed for a snuggle, well, it just confirms why I love cats - when they want to (and only then!), they can be so sweet!
    Indeed, luckily our Moccasin didn't get taught much in the way of hunting skills by her mum...moths, flies and wetas are her only prey. Going through the hunting motions seems to be all that is necessary for a cat that goddam knows she is a pedigree...
    Quote Originally Posted by xerxesdaphat View Post
    V4! VFR800s sound like some sort of alien rocket-ship coming to probe all of our women and destroy our cities

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