Gorgeous lady in a bar...

**feistyredhead** · 12th August 2005, 20:16

A very attractive lady goes up to the bar.

She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately.

When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers.

When he does, she begins to gently caress his full beard.

"Are you the manager?" she asks softly caressing his face with both hands.

"Actually, I'm not," says the man.

"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she says, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender.

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck and nip at them gently.

"What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say around her delicate fingers sliding in and out of his mouth.

"Tell him," she whispers,

"there's no toilet paper, hand soap or paper towels in the ladies room...

**Sniper** · 13th August 2005, 04:52

Hehehehe, very good

**Artifice** · 13th August 2005, 13:26

we'll she's in for a shock, the bartender is a southernman.

**Waylander** · 13th August 2005, 14:08

Originally Posted by Artifice

we'll she's in for a shock, the bartender is a southernman.

Ooh boy you'de better watch yourself... Might just have to head down to Chch.

Fiesty, funny as usuall.

**placidfemme** · 15th August 2005, 08:35

Originally Posted by feistyredhead

"there's no toilet paper, hand soap or paper towels in the ladies room...

hahaha

We should try that at work when they "forget" to order more toilet paper hahaha

**SARGE** · 16th August 2005, 21:53

man walks into a Las Vegas bar an spots this HOT redhead sitting by herself. after a few drinks he asks

"how much for a Handjob?"

"$500" she answers

"$500???...Jesus!!" he replies

she walks him to the front door and points out a brand new Lambo in the parking lot

"see that red car over there.. i paid cash for that just off my handjob money.. you wont be disappointed.."

he decides.. WTF.. Vegas" and forks over $500

best damn handjob he has ever had.. she completely blows his mind.. well worth the money..
he comes back in the next night and says

" ok.. that handjob was pretty great .. how much for a Blowjob?"

"$1500"

$1500??!!! .. well ok.. if its on the same level as the handjob ..

she takes him to the front door again and points at a huge hotel across the street..
" see that?.. thats mine .. i paid cash for that hotel from my Blowjob money.."

without hesitation... he gives her $1500 and is not disappointed..

next night he is back ..

"ok... how much for some pussy then?"

she takes him by the hand and leads him up a long staircase to a room overlooking the city of Las Vegas..

"see that beautiful city down there? she asks

"dont tell me you OWN LAS VEGAS???!!!"

"no" she replies.. " but if i HAD a pussy........."

**placidfemme** · 17th August 2005, 07:43

Originally Posted by SARGE

"no" she replies.. " but if i HAD a pussy........."

hahaha not so much of a "lady" now lol

**Swoop** · 27th April 2008, 12:37

A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub.

She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.

She seductively signalled that he should bring his face closer to hers.

As he did, she gently caressed his full beard. '

Are you the manager?' she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.

'Actually, no,' he replied.

'Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him,' she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.

'I'm afraid I can't,' breathed the bartender... 'Is there anything I can do?'

'Yes. I need you to give him a message,' she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

'What should I tell him?' the bartender managed to say.

'Tell him,' she whispered,'

‘There's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies' room.'

(Multiple searches came up clear. If otherwise, get fucked!)

**awayatc** · 27th April 2008, 12:50

A guy in the pub tears open a toilet-door and has an urgent piss....
While he stands there,someone taps him gently on the shoulder.....
"Excuse me" says an annoyed sounding ladies voice "this is for ladies only".....
"where do you think this one is for?" says the guy, turning around....

**Beemer** · 27th April 2008, 15:22

Originally Posted by Swoop

(Multiple searches came up clear. If otherwise, get fucked!)

Sorry, not interested in fucking you today or any day - but how you missed this in your search beggars belief - http://www.kiwibiker.co.nz/forums/sh...t+paper+ladies

**Swoop** · 27th April 2008, 21:09

Like I said, multiple searches came up dry, so DILLIGAF?

**Beemer** · 28th April 2008, 09:33

Originally Posted by Swoop

Like I said, multiple searches came up dry, so DILLIGAF?

No, but your cat does...

**YellowDog** · 31st March 2009, 16:49

A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub...

She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately.

She seductively signalled that he should bring his face closer to hers.

As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.
'Are you the manager?' she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands.
'Actually, no,' he replied.

'Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him,' she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
'I'm afraid I can't,' breathed the bartender.. 'Is there anything I can do?'

'Yes. I need for you to give him a message,' she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.

'What should I tell him?' the bartender managed to say.

'Tell him,' she whispered, 'There's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room.'