OK, 0230, fast asleep, hear front door open, notice CB not in bed.
CB comes into bedroom "somebody is trying to steal our car (our modern car, the '84 Laser) I heard it whirring over like somebody was trying to start it, it happened a couple of times and I heard the door shut".
(Laser has hi-tech immobiliser - a hidden kill-switch fitted by Scumdog Technology)
Dive out out bed stark-bollocky-nekkid and grab torch and head out door to car-port, noticing car now out on driveway.
Head to car-port and smell petrol and hear movement, dive out onto street to see shadowy figure legging it back up towards the main road (those familiar with Chez Scumdog will know what I nean) and head off after him, he dives around the corner heading south.
Yell to CB (EDIT:she at least had a satin shorty-nightie on) to cut him off at the front gate and sprint round the corner (gravel+bare-feet = ouch-ouch-ouch) to see CB hanging onto collar of thief yelling at him to get on the ground, thief is carrying two bags, drops them and rips free from CB.
Naked old white guy armed with a torch and flailing willy (me) runs up to thief and hollers at him to get on the ground or I'll deck him, he backs off (musta noticed my willy) and CB says "I'm calling the cops" at which point thieving git legs it with scummy in hot pursuit (never had time to call it in to Comms, honest) and hoo-boy, could that thieving git run!
Lost him after he bailed over a fence into the darkeness.
Came back and went through the bags - he is a Christchurch crim who was working for a shearing gang down here.
Gave the bags to the cop on duty and went (hobbled) back to bed.
This morning CB spotted thieving git trying to thumb a lift north of Riviera of the South, a quick call the the cop on deck and thieving git is now in custody.
Unlawfully on Property
Unlawful Interference
Possession of Cannabis
(and I bet I can sink the slipper into him a bit more too!)
Sometimes we DO have a win.
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Originally Posted by rachprice
Bling sent and deserved...thinking of it, you deserve a beer for ti too, but that'll have to wait for to be Down South.
Go the chicks in action.
....... but could you at least have some undergruts near the bed to throw on in future..... 
You go Mrs CB 
Bet you taught her a few tricks too. Most excellent work on both your parts.
it ... that one is gonna make me smile all day 
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