The definition of True Courage ...
...is arriving home stinking drunk after a very late night out with the boys...
Then being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and still having the guts to ask: "Were you cleaning, or were you flying somewhere?"
Registered User
The definition of True Courage ...
...is arriving home stinking drunk after a very late night out with the boys...
Then being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and still having the guts to ask: "Were you cleaning, or were you flying somewhere?"
Every Day im Shuffling Shuffli
ah thats an oldie but a goodie. keep em coming
Registered User
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, three males, two females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"
He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
Still Ridin'
There was an old parody of Elvis's "Are You Lonesome Tonight" by HOmer and Jethro in which they sing:
If you fly back again
Park your broom and come in
Darlin' thaaat's why you're lonesome toniiiiiight!
Motorbike Camping for the win!
wheelchair rookie
Poem
When things go wrong, as they usually will.
And everything seams all uphill.
When funds are low and debts are high.
And you try to smile, but can only cry.
And you really feel that you want to quit.
Dont come to me because I dont give a shit.
Those who insist on perfect safety, don't have the balls to live in the real world.
The instructions are simple...
A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."
"I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago."
"Well," Granny snickered, "Let's relive some old times."
Whereupon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were
fifty years ago."
"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal".
Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
Hardcore Biker
A nose walks into a bar and asks for a drink, the bartender says "no way, I'm not serving you", the nose asks "why not?", with which the bartender replies "you're off your face mate!"
(Same joke can be told with a bra instead of a nose, reason for not being served = the bra was off his/her t*ts.)
The instructions are simple...
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona
when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking
on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped
the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would
like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with
the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking
intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she
noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.
"What's in the bag?" asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a bottle of wine. I got
it for my husband."
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two.
Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said, "Good trade."
Do you realise how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
Scooter boy
A man and his wife are driving along in a snowstorm and spy an animal huddled in the ditch. Stopping to investigate they find an injured skunk and decide to take it to a vet in the next town.
The wife is sitting in the seat holding the skunk and observes that it's half frozen and hypothermic. The man replies "Well put it between your legs, it's plenty warm down there." "But what about the smell?" the woman asks, to which the man replies...
"Just hold it's nose".
Lets go hijack all their camels... and crash them into their tents :raghead:
Aargh, photos!
I just figured out how to solve two of the worlds biggest problems
Get the hungry to eat the homeless
To every man upon this earth
Death cometh sooner or late
And how can a man die better
Than facing fearful odds
For the ashes of his fathers
And the temples of his Gods
Here for the arcade.
You forgot the third...Originally Posted by Sniper_CBR
Homies
When I was trying to find a pic to show you how bad they are (too awful to continue looking), I found this instead:
Aargh, photos!
That is so sad, and check the "for rent" sign on the cop shop
To every man upon this earth
Death cometh sooner or late
And how can a man die better
Than facing fearful odds
For the ashes of his fathers
And the temples of his Gods
Here for the arcade.
Sad? Buh homies r so totly kewl 2 da maxx
Aargh, photos!
Buh I dnnnt lik mai homeee's
To every man upon this earth
Death cometh sooner or late
And how can a man die better
Than facing fearful odds
For the ashes of his fathers
And the temples of his Gods
Here for the arcade.
Fo ShIzZlE mY nIzZlE
iT's ThE bIg NePtIzZlE
WiTh ThE sNoOpY-d-O-dOuBlE-gIzZlE
And no, I don't know what the hell that means
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