Tele-marketers

[Mom]

I receive a call around 5pm.

Indian: Hi, I am calling from the Windows Service Centre, how are you today?

Good shit! I might try that next time I get one of those. Seems to happen a bit at work at the moment. I work for a really family friendly, Christian outfit where expressing myself as "bluntly" as I can would not go down too well. "Buzz off scammer" can now be turned into some light relief entertainment for the entire office! Fantastic stuff.

[Laava]

Nice one Gremlin.
I have to say I am reluctantly impressed with anyone who uses another language to make their living. I like to further their education by placing the phone next to the tv on the maori channel.

[Tazz]

I receive a call around 5pm.

Indian: Hi, I am calling from the Windows Service Centre, how are you today?

Oh man, just had my first one ever now, but she was no where near that fun.
I asked if she was able to tell me the internal network IP of which computer it was as I have 8 and she went ballistic and asking me how old I am and saying I'm behaving like a child and then hung up on me!

Bloody unprofessional behaviour! You guys must be stressing them out XD

[Akzle]

'windows'... Whats that?

[Tazz]

'windows'... Whats that?

[Akzle]

pic

but if car parts were open source, and free....


Dont you have a bike to be riding?

[Tazz]

but if car parts were open source, and free....


Dont you have a bike to be riding?

People pay for Windows? =O
The workplace computers have to be legit, but they come with it installed for 'free' anyway.

At work. What's your excuse?

[G4L4XY]

When I signed up with telecom they asked if I wanted my number in the phonebook...I said no. Is your number listed in the phonebook? Or does it not really matter

[husaberg]

when they ring i play a little game that goes like this.

Me ..hello

Them ..I am such and such...Note it's important let them do a tiny little bit of their spiel ...

Me.... i am very sorry my dad is not home at the moment. if you give me your home number i will get him to call you back later.

Them ...usually ah ah oh... oh...we don't give out our number.

Me why is it f-ing annoying getting waste of time phone calls at home...

them usually silence..



Method two.........

Me Hello

Them blah blah. its is whatever" from

Me..... So "whatever" MMM.. what are you wearing....

Them.... ah...oh..ummm

Me...giggle .... No you hang up first and giggle....

other variations include the Joey classic How you doiiing

[Akzle]

i didn't know whether to dredge or webz. but here:

http://www.callhating.com/

[pzkpfw]

When I signed up with telecom they asked if I wanted my number in the phonebook...I said no. Is your number listed in the phonebook? Or does it not really matter

Some people have claimed an unlisted number stops them getting these calls; but I seriously doubt scammers in India are carefully leafing through the phone book (or the electronic equivalent).

They use auto dialers, and call a bunch of numbers at a time; whoever picks up first gets the next available scammer.

This is why you sometimes get "phantom" calls - the scammers ended up with other people dialed at the same time - so you pick up and there's "no one there".

Also why there's sometimes a delay between picking up the phone and the scammer talking. It wasn't one person who dialed you and was waiting for you to pick up.

[haydes55]

Some people have claimed an unlisted number stops them getting these calls; but I seriously doubt scammers in India are carefully leafing through the phone book (or the electronic equivalent).



They use auto dialers, and call a bunch of numbers at a time; whoever picks up first gets the next available scammer.



This is why you sometimes get "phantom" calls - the scammers ended up with other people dialed at the same time - so you pick up and there's "no one there".



Also why there's sometimes a delay between picking up the phone and the scammer talking. It wasn't one person who dialed you and was waiting for you to pick up.

That may be true for scammers, tele marketers in NZ go through the phone book (usually physical copies) alphabetically.

[Gremlin]

A family event kept one from "Microsoft" out of circulation this evening for more than 25min.

Apparently called a while ago, Dad tried the "my wife normally works with the computer" and the guy said he'd ring back. Sure enough, rang back, unfortunately wife had gone to bed.

25min+ of hilarity (they're incredibly persistent actually if they think they have a bite). Everything done from the couch, no need to actually move obviously.
- Mike up first
- Turned the monitor off and on a lot (pity they didn't specify the tower)
- Checked the power connections (under the desk twice)
- Talked about CPUs
- Finally located a tower and turned that on
- Turned the monitor on
- Wanted to run Windows + R and it didn't work (some keyboards actually have a lockout for gaming)
- Mike gives up and hands over to a senior technician
- Michelle the next victim wanted a browser
- Michelle explains what a browser is, haha, Mozilla Firefox and Google Chrome, what funny names
- Only the Recycle Bin on desktop, nothing else and more time wasting
- Finally gets the blue E and wants us to visit ammyy.com (Remote control software)
- Unfortunately it's Page Not Found
- Checking of Internet connections
- Michelle gives up and escalates
- Sam comes on but we've all grown bored so tell him we know what's going on
- Sam denies it's remote control software

Good bye... 25min wasted, on both sides, but hey, it was amusing and TV is boring

[Akzle]

http://www.callhating.com/

[Swoop]

Just having a clear out of the jokes folder and stumbled on this:

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. Ask, "How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like the other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?"

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...." When they try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems.

3. If the person says he's Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask him to spell his name, then ask him to spell the company name, then ask where it is located. Continue asking personal questions or questions about the company for as long as necessary.

4. This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with Canter and Siegel services.... You: "Hang on a second." (few seconds pause) "Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are you wearing?"

5. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Judy!! Is this really you? I can't believe it! Judy, how have you BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.

6. Say, "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, "I don't have any friends...would you be my friend?"

8. If they clean rugs: "Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood - chicken blood too?"

9. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "Uh-huh, really, or, "That's fascinating." Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn't give your credit card number to someone who's a complete stranger.

10. Tell them you work for the same company they work for. Example: Telemarketer: "This is Bill from Watertronics." You: "Watertronics!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from?" Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas." You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya."

11. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you will call them back. If they say they are not allowed to give out their number, then ask them for their home number and tell them you will call them at home (this is usually the most effective method of getting rid of Telemarketers). If the person says, "Well, I don't really want to get a call at home," say, "Ya! Now you know how I feel." (smiling, of course...)