i need to have a rant about these geniuses who feel the need to tack a spoiler the size of a Cessna wing on the back of their car. What the hell is wrong with these guys?
I've put some thought into this question and there are really only two possible reasons why one might choose to add such an asinine accessory to his vehicle.
1) Because it increases performance or
2) because it looks good.
Let’s take these one at a time. Spoilers in theory increase performance in that at higher speeds the aerodynamics of the device put downward pressure on the back end of the car, increasing the coefficient of friction between the wheels and pavement. But you would need to be going a couple hundred miles per hour before this effect became beneficial. Not to mention, spoilers are designed for cars with rear wheel drive, not for cars like Hondas that typically have front wheel drive. Furthermore, the vertical wings or tips that many custom spoilers have do nothing. Absolutely nothing. So the conclusion is that these spoilers are not installed for utilitarian reasons. But of course, Asian guys already knew this. Most of them probably could have aced a college level aerodynamics class when they were still wearing diapers and most of their collegues (myself included) were sucking on pacifiers and finally figuring out if we squeezed the little bear in our crib it would squeak.
So this only leaves answer number two—because they look good.
THEY DON’T! They look like crap! How can you people be so damn intelligent yet not know that putting a four foot high piece of tinfoil on the back of your car makes you look like some high-tech version of white trash?! Seriously, it’s like some UFO crash landed in a redneck’s backyard right next to the Ford Edsel on cinderblocks and instead of turning the material into the government the redneck scratched his head and thought, “Damn, that there wing sure would look spiffy on the back of my Camero.” Come on people! You aren’t on the set of Too Fast and Too Furious! You aren’t driving a space ship! You are driving a freaking Honda! The company makes lawnmowers for God’s sake! You are driving a glorified lawnmower that you spent three G’s on to “trick out.” You couldn’t break a hundred miles per hour without that little piece of shit rattling apart!
Another thing - WASTEGATES!! JESUS GUYS.. at least set them higher than 3 pounds! you are killing the whole purpose of those things! i cant tell you how many times i get woken up at 3 am by some clown screaming his coffee-can mufflered Subaru off the light in front of my house, only to hear the rage-inducing "PHSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHT!!!" as he shifts into second gear ( about 3000 rpm too early) i wonder if a potato shoved into the outlet of these things would do the same thing as they would in a muffler....? at least his performance would increase slightly, as he would actually be able to BUILD BOOST for a fraction of a second more.
i had one of these "performance engineers"roll up on me at a light this afternoon. there i am, minding my own business on my FJ (looking good though...) and this Honda pulls up next to me. i glance over at young Jimmy Chang in the drivers seat, with "Monica", his big breasted blond girlfriend riding Shotgun. He had it all man.. the big stainless coffee can, huge wing, copious amounts of styilized dragon decals and performance stickers for parts he probably didnt have on his car, neon gear lever, Chen Shing tires.. boomin cRap out of the 14" subs...
anyway.. i really dont see how he could have possible seen me break out laughing from beneath my helmet,but apparantly he did. he starts spooling up as the yellow light flashes on the other road. soon as the green light hit on our side.. he launches off the line in a fury of front tire burning glee.
my reaction time was slightly lower for 2 reasons.
1) i didnt realize we were racing... and
2) i couldnt stop laughing long enough to get it into first gear.
soon as i DID realize, i gave it a twist and just as he was shifting into second, blasted by him and "Monica" like they accidentally went into reverse. i was waiting for the Nitrous Oxide decal that he had on his fender to work to at least give me a decent run, but all i got as i passed him was a "PHSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHT!!!"
Power to weight assclown.. look it up.
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Originally Posted by SARGE
I know both this kids parents,and they are nice intelligent people,but this kid is just so fucking stupid he can hardly talk,a total cretin.
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