An old widower goes to a singles bar and meets and old widow, after several drinks he asks her to spend a weekend away on his boat.
The first fork in the river they come to he asked her "UP OR DOWN " , upon which she throws herself on him, rips his trousers off and makes love to him. That was abit of allright he thinks to himself, next fork in the river he asks "UP OR DOWN" and the same thing happens again. At the end of the day he tells her he has really enjoyed it and would she like to do it again next weekend , to which she agrees.
Following weekend , first fork in the river he ask,s "UP OR DOWN " to which she replies "UP" next Junction she replies "DOWN" and so it goes all day. At the end of the day he asks her why she was so active last week when ever he had asked "UP OR DOWN" but not reacted this week.
she replied :Well last week the batteries in my hearing aid were flat and i thought you said
"F*CK OR DROWN "