The Perfect Storm - Kb Stylz

**sugilite:Me** · 24th May 2013, 23:35

The other day while I was lane splitting my Honda powered Harley with mis-matched k-tech front end and ohlins rear, I noticed the bike was being badly deflected by the rubble of the 911 towers. The only thing keeping me upright was the many car side mirrors I was bouncing off along the way. Assuming this will continue to happen, I was wondering if a Q-moto or 1Tonne jacket would give my tender elbows the best protection?

**bogan** · 24th May 2013, 23:49

Originally Posted by sugilite

The other day while I was lane splitting my Honda powered Harley with mis-matched k-tech front end and ohlins rear, I noticed the bike was being badly deflected by the rubble of the 911 towers. The only thing keeping me upright was the many car side mirrors I was bouncing off along the way. Assuming this will continue to happen, I was wondering if a Q-moto or 1Tonne jacket would give my tender elbows the best protection?

You dolt, the best protection is not found in peeled cow. Bikers can only achieve that using their heads; we need to go and wave down many bikers to peel their heads and make that into protective gear, and it shall then be known as the thickest gear in the land! Failing that, I'm fairly sure Q-moto accepts claimed wing mirrors as payment for the 'goods'.

**Big Dave** · 25th May 2013, 02:04

He's just making it up as he goes.

**jonbuoy** · 25th May 2013, 03:43

Were you using synthetic oil and wearing a high vis jacket? maybe if you spent more time looking at the road and less time waving to Harley riders you wouldn't have skidded on the tar bleed caused by global warming and unseasonably high temperatures. If it wasnt for greedy bankers and benefit scroungers the government could afford decent tar seal like they have in Australia.

**Littleman** · 25th May 2013, 04:50

I'm more curious about how the Auckland cop dealt with the cannabis she found on you, and whether her christian beliefs affected her objectivity when she lectured you on the danger of speed on the open road.

**Laava** · 25th May 2013, 07:09

Obviously the only way forward is to post endless links of dubious origin
www.mybrainhurts.tinhat.com
www.ihearthevoices.bi.pola
www.iwillhavethelastword.see.itoldyaso

**mashman** · 25th May 2013, 09:00

*555.......

**Katman** · 25th May 2013, 09:41

Meanwhile, the all-seeing eye of the dark evil that is the Dominion of Katman watches and plots his domination of Motorcycling.

**scumdog** · 25th May 2013, 09:46

Originally Posted by sugilite

The other day while I was lane splitting my Honda powered Harley with mis-matched k-tech front end and ohlins rear, I noticed the bike was being badly deflected by the rubble of the 911 towers. The only thing keeping me upright was the many car side mirrors I was bouncing off along the way. Assuming this will continue to happen, I was wondering if a Q-moto or 1Tonne jacket would give my tender elbows the best protection?

Now THAT makes more sense than a shit-load of other posts I read on KB, particularly 'Boston bombing', 'ANZAC' thread et al...

**Oakie** · 25th May 2013, 10:02

Originally Posted by sugilite

The other day while I was lane splitting my Honda powered Harley with mis-matched k-tech front end and ohlins rear, I noticed the bike was being badly deflected by the rubble of the 911 towers. The only thing keeping me upright was the many car side mirrors I was bouncing off along the way. Assuming this will continue to happen, I was wondering if a Q-moto or 1Tonne jacket would give my tender elbows the best protection?

'Perfect storm' my hairy white arse! You forgot to WAVE!

**MSTRS:Me** · 25th May 2013, 10:28

I cannot fail to notice, Sugi, that you did not mention the tyre pressures you were running during your adventure ride. Was that a test to see if we were paying attention?

**Haggis2** · 25th May 2013, 10:34

Maybe a mohsin jacket, they come qausi recommended

**sugilite:Me** · 25th May 2013, 10:36

Originally Posted by Big Dave

He's just making it up as he goes.

Hell no Dave, True story bro. Check these links out if you don't believe me at ButterWontMeltInMyMouth.com and teeheeImSoCleverTheyWillNeverGuessImTrolling.com

Originally Posted by jonbuoy

Were you using synthetic oil and wearing a high vis jacket? maybe if you spent more time looking at the road and less time waving to Harley riders you wouldn't have skidded on the tar bleed caused by global warming and unseasonably high temperatures. If it wasnt for greedy bankers and benefit scroungers the government could afford decent tar seal like they have in Australia.

Heres the thing though, as I'd bought the stuff that lets me txt with gloves on, I was using my i-phandroid phone to scroll through kb looking for the way to wave right when the ohlins secret service detected my k-tech fork internals and stuck a tx36 shock in my wheels. I would have been all sweet and about to prove that hi vis vests save lives, as I'd fashioned an airbag out of a few of them when....to be continued below.....

Originally Posted by Littleman

I'm more curious about how the Auckland cop dealt with the cannabis she found on you, and whether her christian beliefs affected her objectivity when she lectured you on the danger of speed on the open road.

Dammit I had gone over the posted speed limit by 3 km's! Naturally the NZ Goverments law of physics took over and the resulting high side was now 7 times higher than had I been going the posted speed limit. Thus I missed my hand made airbag that looked suspiciously like Nick Smiths arse, and nearly as bright as his face. It was when I had reached the top of my trajectory that I noticed my Granny in the bus the lane over. She was sneaking up on a bunch of terrorists that had kidnapped a class of underprivileged children borne of dole bludging beneficiaries to save the day, that's when I spotted she had a joint of cannabis behind her ear. So naturally I...to be continued below....

Originally Posted by mashman

*555.......

Damn straight Mashman, I dobbed that bitch in and did the *555 on her arse. Naturally I was thinking of the children. Before I landed from this mother of all highsides I just had enough time to bang off a post into the KB religious ravings section, knowing that it's Gods "go to" place to brush up on his word and give me a free resurrection ticket.

Originally Posted by Katman

Meanwhile, the all-seeing eye of the dark evil that is the Dominion of Katman watches and plots his domination of Motorcycling.

But apparently not before I had done some time in Katmans purgatory dungeon. I know it was purgatory because every crash I had ever had was constantly played back to me showing me how they were all my fault. There was also computer in the corner and when I turned it on it had the multi boot options of Windows Vista, Linux, and Mac OSX and the only app was a IE 4.0 browser that took me to KB and only KB, I knew I was in for a long and painful stay.

Originally Posted by Laava

Obviously the only way forward is to post endless links of dubious origin
www.mybrainhurts.tinhat.com
www.ihearthevoices.bi.pola
www.iwillhavethelastword.see.itoldyaso

Well here is the thing, The Devil said my soul was his because I had gone 3 kph over the speed limit, but I refuted these facts with great vigor. In my defense I posted up some links on KB sending him to www.IrrefutableFacts.com, www.NoTheseAreTheIrrefutableFacts.com and finally the www.TheseAreDefinitlyTheIrrefutableFactsAndTheothe rFactSitesAreWrong.com. He only made it halfway down the page on the 1st site and banned me from hell saying by inflicting kb on him I had unleashed an evil previously unbeknown to him, and that brand of evil was too much for hell to handle.

Anyways, Once God had logged in and seen my request for a resurrection ticket I was popped back onto planet Earth as good as new. Only problem was it was 20 years later. Being a born again biker, I strolled down to Wellington Motorcycles and ordered a busa with a turbo and all the bits, I mean what could possibly go wrong!