Questions you're too embarrassed to ask

[Drum]

My first stupid question is (and this one comes from my missus'):

What do you do if you get a flat tyre?

p.s. Please feel free to chastise me for my newbie ignorance if it makes you feel big/ important

[James Deuce]

Swear like a sailor with pox after a visit to Hong Kong.

Cry a little bit.

Ring the wife to bring me a tyre pando.

Punch the next tyre rep I see at the bike shop.

[TwoSeven]

If you get a flat, normally the tire wont go down quickly, especially if something is still poking out of the tire. What happens is the steering will gradually get heavier and heavier and the bike will start to wallow.

Dont remove whatever is poking into the tire - for two reasons. 1) the tire will go flat straight away, 2) the person repairing it wont be able to find the hole.

Ride to your tireshop and either ask for it to be plug-n-patched, or buy a new tire (on a sports bike you should do the latter).

For most punctures, i've found they are slow enough to be able to pump up the next day, then ride to the bike shop. Although it depends really on what went thru the tire.

Blowouts (very rare) or sudden deflations are a pain. Just shut the throttle and let the bike come to a halt (never had one happen, but their will be some similar technique for it). The biggest pain is that you then have to push the bike with the tire being dead flat.

Finally, tires normally only start to pick up punctures when they are worn out or run too soft.

Thats just my thoughts on it - others will have different ideas.

[Stevo]

Swear like a sailor with pox after a visit to Hong Kong.

Cry a little bit.

Ring the wife to bring me a tyre pando.

Punch the next tyre rep I see at the bike shop.

I'd second that

[Motu]

Slow punctures only happen with tubeless tyres - if you have tubes they will deflate fast,sometimes instantly.How you come to a stop depends on your skill level,but gently does it is most important.You have to repair it on the side of the road,I've done it many times and is a major pain in the arse - these days it's a phone call to the wife....trouble is I'm usualy in a no reception area.....

[Ixion]

There are no stupid questions, only people too stupid to ask them. So do not be embarrassed.

As to punctures,what happens ? Um, you fall off ? Hopefully not!

A deflated rear wheel will make the bike lurch and wallow when in a straight line. And very strange in corners. Tubeless tyres do not usually go down fast so you should notice a gradual "wot the hell" with handling. Tubed tyres will go down very fast . The good news is that a fast deflatioon on the rear is probably survivable. Just try to keep steering straight ahead, don't use the rear brake, brake gently (GENTLY) with the front brake, and try to move your weight forward a bit.

A deflated front is nastier. At worst it will induce a uncontrollable wobble, and probably a tank-slapper! Then you fall off ! Tubeless tyres you should pick up that something is horribly wrong long before the tyre is completely flat. Tubed tyre, instant flat. Only had it happen once (on the road - off road I pulled the valve out a few times , yeah I know, more clamps) , I survived. Fortunately, I was not going very fast , and the 19" tyres on old Briddish had quite heavy sidewalls. Up to your skills and teh Biker Gds, this one.

So it depends a lot on the bike - on a BSA Bantam, the sidewalls are so thick in relation to the weight of the bike that you hardly need air .

Blowouts ? VERY rare indeed on bikes. And I've never heard of a bike tyre losing its tread.

Best to leave this as one of the "Please Biker Gods, don't let this ever happen to me" situations. But a puncture IS survivable. Just try to ride it out. Don't panic, don't use the brake on whichever wheel is flat (sucks to have linked brakes I guess) , and slow down GENTLY in as straight a line as you can manage. Actually, not so different to a car

[Hitcher]

??

Ring for help like the big girl's blouse I am. Mind you, I'd like to see somebody remove the rear wheel from an ST1300 on the side of the road halfway up the Takas, in a gale, with the toolkit Honda-san thought would be a good idea to insert under the rear seat...

[myvice]

I have had a flat on every bike I have ever owned. 3 on my CBR!
Better than crashing them I spose...
I carry a can of Pando type foam goo on my bike, if you do use it get your tire to the shop as soon as you can, as a lot of places get a tad iffy fixing them after 3 months of use.
And it’s only a get you home thing anyway!
A better option is a repair kit with the CO2 canisters but a mate borrowed my one 8 years ago for a trip, didn’t use it and kept it as punishment for its lack of use.
Blowouts on bikes suck, 2 up 15k's out of Cambridge on a hot day suck more!
And if nob-end in a tire shop says "I just put a tube in it" Give him a smack and go elsewhere!

No such thing as a stupid question!
Stupid answer however...

[avgas]

well lets see, when i blew me front out once, i got the misses to sit right off the tail of the ol' GB so that the front tyre wasnt taking all the weight, we then crawled 5k home. When i blew the back out once, i thought i had just lost some hp, so i gave it more juice and rode the thumper, the few 100m's home home. Only to get off the bike and notice the tire sittn on the rim.
Have heard horror stories of poor bastards loosing steering etc when a big blow out occurs.
My old man carries one of those tyre cannister things on his bike for the next flatties - those things are good as a temp. solution

[sunhuntin]

already had one puncture...hit the same something twice around from my flat. noticed the steering was sluggish at the top of the hill, backend pulling away to the left. by the time i got nearly to the bottom, it was fully flat. coasted the bottom, got off and walked her to the mechanics across the road. 24 hours later and im back rolling. lucky there was a mechanicas so close, otherwise i woulda been screwed. still dont know what i hit though, but i avoid going home that way now, lol.

[Drum]

Hey thanks guys and gals, all good stuff. My next, and final question for tonight is:

What are the pros and cons of two stroke bikes versus four stroke bikes, particularly from a learner riders point of view? Would you recommend one over the other? And if so, why?

Thanks all, and apologies if this is covered in another thread somewhere.

[Motu]

Some 2 strokes,like commuters and simple trail bikes are quite tame and docile,actualy easier to ride,more reliable and simpler to maintain than a 4 stroke.But they are capable of making far more horsepower than a 4 stroke,and are aggressive about it,also fussy in the care required,although still less than a 4 stroke with half the horsepower.I don't see any problem with 2 strokes,even high performance ones....but you will have to learn about power delivery,they are harder to ride smoothly.

[Beemer]

With regards to the flat tyre, join AA - they now offer roadside assistance for bikers. Never had a flat tyre, thankfully, so no practical advice!

As for two strokes versus four strokes - as they say, different strokes for different folks! Had both - the RG150 was fun, fun, fun. A bit revvy, but I learnt to ride on it and I'm still here! The latest two bikes are four strokes and both are lovely. Not sure if it's the same for all two strokes, but the RG had no engine braking and the Goose and Beemer do, so that was one thing I had to get used to.

Oh, and don't blame your questions, dumb or otherwise, on your missus!

[James Deuce]

With regards to the flat tyre, join AA - they now offer roadside assistance for bikers.

Really difficult to get them to turn up and when they do they have no idea.

Canned our memberships after being left in the lurch 3 times in a row. They suck. Not only do they NOT advocate for the average NZ motorist, they can't help on the side of the road.

I was told repeatedly by the telephone operator I got that AA do not provide roadside assistance for motorcyclists with flat tyres, despite being sold on it with the line you've been fed.

Refusing to help my heavily pregnant wife when the car wouldn't start (cracked distributor cap) was the last straw.

[XP@]

Reparing on the side of the road, watch out! I know of one rider who was repairing a puncture on his goldwing. He went across the road to get some more co2 cannisters. a drunk / uninsured driver plowed in to the bike minutes before or later he would have been collected. As it was he was able to finnish the ride on a spare bike and later re-bikld the gold wing