The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt". Now you can intellectually handle the situation.
Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt.
Awe Schitt, the fertiliser magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Knee-deep & Schitt Inc.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children : Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins, Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parent's objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out.
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.
Noe Schitt later married Mr. Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced A nervous son Chicken Schitt.
Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd and Hoarse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world, He recently returned from Italy with his new bride, Piza Schitt.
So now if someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt", you can correct them. Not only do you know Jack, you know his whole family!
(Came in via email years ago, can also be found here )
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goes on a bit but still funny.
Originally Posted by SpankMe
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