Your pussies

**John** · 24th August 2005, 13:19

Originally Posted by alarumba

At least it doesn't shit all over the place like a dog

Makes a mess of your bike but, my pussy sleeps on it and pukes its hairballs all over the fucken bike, not fun to clean.

**Big Dave** · 24th August 2005, 13:24

Ahh - 'Are You Being Served' - 1974 (the Mrs Slocumbe gag)

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EXCERPTS FROM THE DOG'S DAILY DIARY

8:00 am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
10.00 am - The cat....ooooh.....
10:30 am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
11:30 am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
12:00 noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
5:00 pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
6:00 pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!

EXCERPTS FROM THE CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

Day 283 Of My Captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an inxxxxant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

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I hate cats.

**bugjuice** · 24th August 2005, 13:32

well, just to add to some spice, here's a pic of 2 nice shaved pussies..

**John** · 24th August 2005, 13:33

Originally Posted by bugjuice

well, just to add to some spice, here's a pic of 2 nice shaved pussies..

that second one is sooo fucken sneaky

**vifferman** · 24th August 2005, 13:36

Originally Posted by alarumba

At least it doesn't shit all over the place like a dog

Oh really?
This is the second house I've lived in where a neighbour's cat has crapped all over the lawn. All the fish and stuff in the cat food really stinks, and the vast amounts of fur helps to ensure the poo heaps have longevity. And every place I've lived one or more of the neighbourhood tomcats have pissed all over everything outside, which stinks considerably more than dog piss (plus stray dogs don't climb over the wall/fence, nor do they sleep on the warm car bonnet and piss down the airvents).
Bastard bloody things. Your average cat owner wouldn't have a cat if they didn't have soft, strokey fur, as they have no redeeming features at all.

**Coyote** · 24th August 2005, 13:41

Originally Posted by vifferman

Oh really?
This is the second house I've lived in where a neighbour's cat has crapped all over the lawn. All the fish and stuff in the cat food really stinks, and the vast amounts of fur helps to ensure the poo heaps have longevity. And every place I've lived one or more of the neighbourhood tomcats have pissed all over everything outside, which stinks considerably more than dog piss (plus stray dogs don't climb over the wall/fence, nor do they sleep on the warm car bonnet and piss down the airvents).
Bastard bloody things. Your average cat owner wouldn't have a cat if they didn't have soft, strokey fur, as they have no redeeming features at all.

Touche Vifferman

**John** · 24th August 2005, 13:43

Originally Posted by vifferman

Oh really?
This is the second house I've lived in where a neighbour's cat has crapped all over the lawn. All the fish and stuff in the cat food really stinks, and the vast amounts of fur helps to ensure the poo heaps have longevity. And every place I've lived one or more of the neighbourhood tomcats have pissed all over everything outside, which stinks considerably more than dog piss (plus stray dogs don't climb over the wall/fence, nor do they sleep on the warm car bonnet and piss down the airvents).
Bastard bloody things. Your average cat owner wouldn't have a cat if they didn't have soft, strokey fur, as they have no redeeming features at all.

Hey I resent that, I've owned both for a long time - and enjoy them both, until the dog ran under the hedge trimmer (tractor driven one) and lost its leg and needed to be put down, my current cat is the only one thats actually been a pain the ones I've had from kittens are always great - only had 1 decent dog that didnt piss me off all the time.

**vifferman** · 24th August 2005, 13:51

Originally Posted by John

Hey I resent that, I've owned both for a long time - and enjoy them both, until the dog ran under the hedge trimmer (tractor driven one) and lost its leg and needed to be put down, my current cat is the only one thats actually been a pain the ones I've had from kittens are always great - only had 1 decent dog that didnt piss me off all the time.

Well, I guess you're either a cat person or a dog person.
I grew up with cats, and didn't like dogs, as there were a couple running free in our neighbourhood that used to scare me. However, one day it dawned on me what cats were really like, and owning a dog taught me how good dogs could be. He was a lovely, good-natured and very loyal dog, even though I treated him like shit.

**Blackbird** · 24th August 2005, 13:56

Originally Posted by CaN

Things are really getting desperate when the pussy thread actually has cats in it.

Inextricably linked to me taking the Blackbird to the beach. If those little bastards come, we have to take the car

**Motu** · 24th August 2005, 14:25

I've had some hard case cats over the years,but the last 3 in the city didn't last long.One cat I had was bought up by a dog and shit all over the lawn.When we lived next to bush and farm land our cat would have at least 3 rats dismembered on the deck in the morning....we got to know that ''look what I've got for dinner'' yowl they make with something in their mouths and all doors would be shut.Sometimes he'd turn up with half a rabbit or some webbed feet to play with,the kids used to watch him out the windows.

Now we are settled in our own place again I'm waiting to be ''claimed'' by some cat that feels the need for a servant to do their bidding....remember,we are here for their pleasure.

**enigma51** · 24th August 2005, 14:35

I use to have a cat called sylvester and what it did not fuck it fucked up

**NotaGoth** · 24th August 2005, 14:58

this could turn real bad real fast.. can i sense some excitement or what?

**bugjuice** · 24th August 2005, 15:06

Originally Posted by XxKiTtiExX

this could turn real bad real fast.. can i sense some excitement or what?

go shave and let us know.. (see second 'R' pic for ideas..)

**SixPackBack** · 24th August 2005, 15:08

I feel the need to enlighten you all [turn away Zed].......now we all kwnow why virgiana's are called pussy's.....if you had ever seen a cat with it's head chopped off you would know