When Grampas go bad

[slofox]

Since my involuntary retirement some six months ago, my daughter has returned to full time work. This entails me getting a lot of grandchild minding exercise (and I mean exercise). I have two of the little buggers to look after. One is after school only (7 yo boy) but the other is full time twice a week and after (pre)school the other three days (3.5yo girl).

This has been an interesting exercise. I have become well acquainted with kids' programs on TV and have more episodes of Oomizoomi and Dora the Explorer recorded than anything else. I have also regained my skill at defusing tantrums (usually by saying something like "Shut the fuck up you little shit or I'll leave you here ALL ALONE!"

But sometimes I do mean things too. Like yesterday f'rinstance...

Some clown cut through our exit from a roundabout. I blasted the horn, as you do. 3.5yo says "What was that noise?" I reply "The horn. It's loud." (Stebel Nautilus).

"Huh!" says 7yo. "Didn't sound very loud to me." And his sister agreed "Not very loud!"

So I says "well, when we get home, you guys can stand in front of the car and I'll blast the horn and you can see if you still think its not very loud, OK?"

So we get home and they leap out and go stand in front of the car. With the closed garage door directly behind them...at which point I blasted it.

Hell's bells, the look of pure horror on my grand-daughter's face (and the lad's too I might add) was something else. It went through pure panic, to disbelief, to anger to "I am about to melt down." I should add that even I was surprised at just how loud it sounded when I heard it in that environment.

I managed to avoid the meltdown and was saved by Grandson who proceeded to piss his pants laughing. Herself joined in after a moment of doubt.

Little buggers wouldn't let me do it again though.

Maybe I shouldn't tell their Mum, eh.

[Road kill]

Good skills Pop.
Mine would tell their mum as soon as they saw her next.

That's solid gold memories mate.
Plus they'd probably tell that story about their Gramps at your funeral many many years from now.

Chur.

[Big Dave]

Aye.


We look after our granddaughters two nights a week while mum works. 3 and 5yo. Tonight it's just me. My Mrs is visiting family in Hobart.

I have set them up a nice iMac and the 3yo can boot it up and open the Dora playlist in itunes.
Viva Dora and that one Fry narrates is good too.
She sits in front of the educational software doing puzzles for hours as well. Easy one.

The 5yo loves to draw. We're working on trees.


No BS at gran-pa's.

[SVboy]

I was watching a middle eastern version of Dora the explorer the other day-"Doda the Exploder"!

[awa355]

I know all the Winnie the Pooh movies. " It's playtime Pooh" is my fav.

Bad Grampa is when they get told ' all the chocolates are gone' but really, there's still two left.

[buggerit]

Aye.


We look after our granddaughters two nights a week while mum works. 3 and 5yo. Tonight it's just me. My Mrs is visiting family in Hobart.

I have set them up a nice iMac and the 3yo can boot it up and open the Dora playlist in itunes.
Viva Dora and that one Fry narrates is good too.
She sits in front of the educational software doing puzzles for hours as well. Easy one.

The 5yo loves to draw. We're working on trees.


No BS as gran-pa's.

I thought a bloke with your contacts would be able to lay your hands on a sidecar for the evening, now that would give
the grandkids something to talk about at your funeral

[Big Dave]

I thought a bloke with your contacts would be able to lay your hands on a sidecar for the evening, now that would give
the grandkids something to talk about at your funeral

Yeah - I bought them nice bicycles - but at the moment sitting on the KLR and tooting the horn and they are happy.

[Trade_nancy]

Thanks for that hoot of a yarn...

[awa355]

Grand children here for 3 days. A 7yr autistic boy, and a 2 1/2 yr girl. I have never seen two children that have bonded together like these.

Today we have been dragged through all the toys in the Warehouse and paper plus.
I have to be grateful that they are generally well behaved and respond well to doing what they are told ( generally ). Haven't hardly had to growl too many times.

Walking two dogs and a almost 3 yrs through the local park is an exercise in patience.

Right now they are in the bath with half the kitchen ware. Nan is trying to keep an eye on them, clean up the lounge floor, and cook tea. Grandad cant hear them cause he's listening to Julie Felix singing ' this world goes round and round'

All in all , a neat day. But by Wednesday will be glad to see their parents arrive.

[Oakie]

I love being a naughty grandad.

One of my favourite things to hear a grandaughter say is "Poppa's funny!"

[Brian d marge]

Mine are outside somewhere , have left food in the hope they return


Stephen

[slofox]

I love being a naughty grandad.

One of my favourite things to hear a grandaughter say is "Poppa's funny!"

Have you shown them what happens when they pull Papa's finger yet..?

[turtleman]

Have you shown them what happens when they pull Papa's finger yet..?

lol - My older 2 grandkids (~7 and 3) refuse to pull my finger any more !

I have taught master 7 to make fart noises using his armpit - seems to keep him amused for quite a while (and his little sister). Not so much his mother, though....

[unstuck]

Have you shown them what happens when they pull Papa's finger yet..?

I used to do that with my grandson, but he got bored with it so I pretended I was trying too hard and shit my pants, that got the little shit giggling.

[Drew]

Fucken hell there's a lot of grandparents on KB.


Hmmm, with these old cunts, pretty soon I'll be able to wind them up with the same shit I did six months ago.