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Thread: Harley Lovers - Need not look here!! (Anti-Harley Jokes)

  1. #1
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    Talking Harley Lovers - Need not look here!! (Anti-Harley Jokes)

    Q: How is a Harley Davidson like a Porcupine?
    A: Both have pricks on their back.

    Q: How is a Harley Davidson like an old dog?
    A: If you leave them alone long enough, they'll both mark their territory.

    Q: What is the difference between a Harley Davidson and an old dog?
    A: The dog can get in the back of the pickup by itself.

    Q: Why do Harley owners have tassels on their handlebars and clothing?
    A: To be able to tell if they're moving or not !


    Slow Down or Stop? The police officer had just pulled over a yuppie on a new Harley for running a stop sign. "May I see your driver's license and registration please..." the officer asked.

    "What's the problem, officer?" the yuppie replied.

    "You just ran a stop sign." the officer said.

    "Oh come on, pal, there wasn't a single car anywhere in sight."

    "Nevertheless sir, you are required to come to a complete stop, look both ways, and only then proceed with caution."

    "You've got to be kidding me!" the yuppie said.

    "It's no joke sir." the officer said flatly, pulling out his citation book and preparing to write a ticket.

    "Look I slowed down almost to a complete stop, saw no one, and proceeded with caution."

    The officer sighed and slowly shook his head. "That's beside the point sir, you are supposed to come to a complete stop and you didn't. Now if I may see your license and..." the officer began.

    "You sure do have a lot of time on your hands pal. What's the matter, all the doughnut shops closed this early?" the yuppie asked sneering.

    "SIR!" The officer sighed. "I'll over look that last comment now let me see your license and registration immediately!"

    "I will, if you can tell me the difference between slowing down, and coming to a complete stop." the yuppie said, folding his arms across his chest.

    A smile appeared on the officer's face. "Sir, I can do better than that." The police officer quickly jerked the rude yuppie off his Harley, and proceeded to methodically beat him over the head with his nightstick. "Now sir, would you like for me to slow down or come to a complete stop?"


    Top 10 Reasons Why Harley Riders Don't Wave at Other Motorcyclists.

    10) They're way too cool to acknowledge any non-Harley riders.
    9) They're too busy daydreaming about owning a real motorcycle.
    8) Their engine is too weak to handle the added wind resistance of a waving hand.
    7) The Rottie (in back of the pickup truck with the tied down Harley) is easily upset by rapid hand movements.
    6) Are you kidding? Risk their lives trying to control a Harley with just one hand!
    5) They're too busy humming "Born to be Wild" while fantasizing about being Peter Fonda or Dennis Hopper.
    4) They're too busy figuring out how to pay for the next order of genuine Harley accessories (including the "official" HD calculator needed to add up the cost).
    3) If we really have to tell you, you won't understand anyway.
    2) They can't see you because their half-shell helmet keeps falling down over their eyes.
    1) They think we are actually trying to draw their attention to the parts falling off their bikes, and they are sick and tired of it.

    ****DISCLAIMER Hey they are just jokes and lets keep it that way........***

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  2. #2
    Guys who ride sports bikes = HOT




    Guys who ride harleys on the other hand = ABSOLUTELY FUCKABLE


    mmm.. harley.. lol

  3. #3
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    LOL - I like the pickup one!

    I don't know about your comments, XxKiTtiExX - ugh, give me a sportsbike rider any day, definitely shaggable! A Hardly rider? By the time they took off all that fringed leather, the urges would have disappeared!
    Yes, I am pedantic about spelling and grammar so get used to it!

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Beemer
    LOL - I like the pickup one!

    I don't know about your comments, XxKiTtiExX - ugh, give me a sportsbike rider any day, definitely shaggable! A Hardly rider? By the time they took off all that fringed leather, the urges would have disappeared!
    leather smells so nice though, might be my childhood memories kicking in. wait no i'm still a child *sigh*

    p.s if i ever get a bike and its a harley i'll make sure i wave LOL

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beemer
    LOL - I like the pickup one!

    I don't know about your comments, XxKiTtiExX - ugh, give me a sportsbike rider any day, definitely shaggable! A Hardly rider? By the time they took off all that fringed leather, the urges would have disappeared!

    Who says they take off the fringed leather?

    What a waste of time!!

    C.B likes the tickle of leather fringes
    Winding up drongos, foil hat wearers and over sensitive KBers for over 14,000 posts...........
    " Life is not a rehearsal, it's as happy or miserable as you want to make it"

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by XxKiTtiExX
    Guys who ride sports bikes = HOT

    Guys who ride harleys on the other hand = ABSOLUTELY FUCKABLE

    mmm.. harley.. lol
    I'll second that opinion

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by XxKiTtiExX
    Guys who ride sports bikes = HOT




    Guys who ride harleys on the other hand = ABSOLUTELY FUCKABLE


    mmm.. harley.. lol
    Apparently my bike sounds like a harley does that count?

    Sever
    Now and forever
    you're just another lost soul about to be mine again
    see her, you'll never free her
    you must surrender it all
    And give life to me again
    Disturbed - Inside the Fire


  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waylander
    Apparently my bike sounds like a harley does that count?
    Only to blind chicks!! which in your case could be an advantage!!

    No offence meant dude, but I couldn't resist it!!
    Winding up drongos, foil hat wearers and over sensitive KBers for over 14,000 posts...........
    " Life is not a rehearsal, it's as happy or miserable as you want to make it"

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by scumdog
    Only to blind chicks!! which in your case could be an advantage!!

    No offence meant dude, but I couldn't resist it!!
    Har har har .....

    Sever
    Now and forever
    you're just another lost soul about to be mine again
    see her, you'll never free her
    you must surrender it all
    And give life to me again
    Disturbed - Inside the Fire


  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Waylander
    Apparently my bike sounds like a harley does that count?
    I had an older bloke from the city go on about his honda sounding like a harley. sadly its just not the same. least you haven't earnt a bottle round the head though

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by XxKiTtiExX
    I had an older bloke from the city go on about his honda sounding like a harley. sadly its just not the same. least you haven't earnt a bottle round the head though
    Might have to take ya for a spin on it to show you how much like a harley it is. Except most of the bits stay on and I dont drag pegs at every turn. Though I can certainly lean far enough for it.

    Sever
    Now and forever
    you're just another lost soul about to be mine again
    see her, you'll never free her
    you must surrender it all
    And give life to me again
    Disturbed - Inside the Fire


  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by Waylander
    Might have to take ya for a spin on it to show you how much like a harley it is. Except most of the bits stay on and I dont drag pegs at every turn. Though I can certainly lean far enough for it.
    I've been brought up around harleys and I ain't never seen them fall to bits lol

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waylander
    Might have to take ya for a spin on it to show you how much like a harley it is. Except most of the bits stay on and I dont drag pegs at every turn. Though I can certainly lean far enough for it.
    Nah, the cylinder angle, firing system etc means it would NEVER sound like an H-D (not that it would sound bad mind you, just different)

    And I can scrape my pegs at an angle you wouldn't believe - my 14 yr old could scrape the road with his hands as we went around corners!
    Winding up drongos, foil hat wearers and over sensitive KBers for over 14,000 posts...........
    " Life is not a rehearsal, it's as happy or miserable as you want to make it"

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by XxKiTtiExX
    I've been brought up around harleys and I ain't never seen them fall to bits lol
    It's the older ones that had the problems. They've fixed them now but the rest of us never let them forget it.

    Quote Originally Posted by scumdog
    Nah, the cylinder angle, firing system etc means it would NEVER sound like an H-D (not that it would sound bad mind you, just different)

    And I can scrape my pegs at an angle you wouldn't believe - my 14 yr old could scrape the road with his hands as we went around corners!
    So could most of my passengers. Sportsters sit higher up than most other harleys so you sould be able to lean hard. If I were ever to get a harley it would probably be a sportster despite what White Trash calls them.

    Sever
    Now and forever
    you're just another lost soul about to be mine again
    see her, you'll never free her
    you must surrender it all
    And give life to me again
    Disturbed - Inside the Fire


  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waylander
    It's the older ones that had the problems. They've fixed them now but the rest of us never let them forget it.
    The rest of 'us' never had a bike back then -or that old!!
    Winding up drongos, foil hat wearers and over sensitive KBers for over 14,000 posts...........
    " Life is not a rehearsal, it's as happy or miserable as you want to make it"

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