A call to ban the sale of fireworks

[ellipsis]

I suppose it depends which history book you read.

The Gunpowder Plot of 1605, in earlier centuries often called the Gunpowder Treason Plot or the Jesuit Treason, was a failed assassination attempt against King James I of England and VI of Scotland by a group of provincial English Catholics led by Robert Catesby.

...and was about as successful as our attempts as 15/16 year olds to assault the Lyttelton Police Station with badly aimed skyrockets which was supposed to make the occupants run out of the station and into our four baked bean tins stuffed full of tuppenny bangers that were going to all go bang at the same time and blow them to pieces...didn't go to plan at all and like the little fuckwits we were, hanging around watching was probably the wrong thing to do...we were not hung or burned at the stake but our arses were bruised by size ten bobby boots...

[Zedder]

...and was about as successful as our attempts as 15/16 year olds to assault the Lyttelton Police Station with badly aimed skyrockets which was supposed to make the occupants run out of the station and into our four baked bean tins stuffed full of tuppenny bangers that were going to all go bang at the same time and blow them to pieces...didn't go to plan at all and like the little fuckwits we were, hanging around watching was probably the wrong thing to do...we were not hung or burned at the stake but our arses were bruised by size ten bobby boots...

Now that made this thread worthwhile for me.

[swbarnett]

I suppose it depends which history book you read.

The Gunpowder Plot of 1605, in earlier centuries often called the Gunpowder Treason Plot or the Jesuit Treason, was a failed assassination attempt against King James I of England and VI of Scotland by a group of provincial English Catholics led by Robert Catesby.

Indeed. He may have been the target but in order to achieve this they intended to blow up the house of lords.

[Bender]

...and was about as successful as our attempts as 15/16 year olds to assault the Lyttelton Police Station with badly aimed skyrockets which was supposed to make the occupants run out of the station and into our four baked bean tins stuffed full of tuppenny bangers that were going to all go bang at the same time and blow them to pieces...didn't go to plan at all and like the little fuckwits we were, hanging around watching was probably the wrong thing to do...we were not hung or burned at the stake but our arses were bruised by size ten bobby boots...

Post of the year!

[Flip]

Remember, remember!
The fifth of November,
The Gunpowder treason and plot;
I know of no reason
Why the Gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot!
Guy Fawkes and his companions
Did the scheme contrive,
To blow the King and Parliament
All up alive.
Threescore barrels, laid below,
To prove old England's overthrow.
But, by God's providence, him they catch,
With a dark lantern, lighting a match!
A stick and a stake
For King James's sake!
If you won't give me one,
I'll take two,
The better for me,
And the worse for you.
A rope, a rope, to hang the Pope,
A penn'orth of cheese to choke him,
A pint of beer to wash it down,
And a jolly good fire to burn him.
Holloa, boys! holloa, boys! make the bells ring!
Holloa, boys! holloa boys! God save the King!
Hip, hip, hooor-r-r-ray!

[Fatjim]

Hey, if fucking little shitheads (and the retarded parents that spawned them) won't take personal responsibility for their actions then they can hardly complain if morons instead solve the problem by banning it.

Corrected it for ya.

[caspernz]

Fireworks enable folks to audition for their Darwin award me thinks...

But yeah, free choice and all, maybe fireworks should be restricted to professional public displays? Like Whakatane in 2009 maybe...

[swbarnett]

Like Whakatane in 2009 maybe...

For those of us not in the know would you like to elaborate?

[rustyrobot]

For those of us not in the know would you like to elaborate?

[Berries]

I can confirm that in the party capital that is Queenstown Guy Fawkes night last was shit. I didn't hear one siren all night, and this is the night the fire service look forward to all year, whatever they say on TV the night before.

As I said earlier, you might as well ban it because it is irrelevant in NZ. And shit. It is a UK day and best experienced when the nights are drawing in and you can stand around a big fuck off bonfire to keep warm with your pockets full of fireworks. Never even saw a bonfire yesterday, the council won't let you light one. Fuckers. Burn them.

Or better still, fill a milk bottle, a glass one, with the innards of half a dozen Standard bangers. Point a rocket in to the bottle, snapping the stick so it sits in the mouth of the bottle, light it and stand back. Or throw it for a bit of Russian Roulette.

What, no rockets? Talk about half arsed. Either do it properly or don't bother.


EDIT. Whakatane looked cool though. Where is that?

[Road kill]

As much a part of NZ society as jesus,the easter bunny,santa claus and the tooth fairy.

Then there's always Hallowen just in case we needed something even more meaningfull to the average Kiwi.

Ban the fucking lot and replace them with something that means something more than a long weekend from Kiwi culture.

Damn,,,,,,,,,,,,,,sorry about that.

[SMOKEU]

Ban the fucking lot and replace them with something that means something more than a long weekend from Kiwi culture.

Like a J day every month?

[rustyrobot]

As much a part of NZ society as jesus,the easter bunny,santa claus and the tooth fairy.

Then there's always Hallowen just in case we needed something even more meaningfull to the average Kiwi.

Ban the fucking lot and replace them with something that means something more than a long weekend from Kiwi culture.

Which average Kiwi? Leaving aside Jebus - Easter, Christmas, losing teeth (+getting money) and dressing up for Trick or Treating hold heaps of great childhood memories for me. Sure they might not mean anything to thee olde tyme folkes, but they can always put on the wireless and play rationing sugar or something.

As an adult I have plenty of fond memories associated with those long weekends too. I don't really have any desire for more nationalistic days of somber ponderance.

[Road kill]

Like a J day every month?

Make it once a week an we're getting closer.

[Road kill]

Which average Kiwi? Leaving aside Jebus - Easter, Christmas, losing teeth (+getting money) and dressing up for Trick or Treating hold heaps of great childhood memories for me. Sure they might not mean anything to thee olde tyme folkes, but they can always put on the wireless and play rationing sugar or something.

As an adult I have plenty of fond memories associated with those long weekends too. I don't really have any desire for more nationalistic days of somber ponderance.

Tell me where the tooth fairy comes from.
Tell me about Xmas or easter,,,not your fucking holidays or the money you were given as a demanding little shit that wanted what he hadn't earnt,the real reasons and how you really honored them,,,and I might believe you.

Not gonna happen is it ?

And 30 minites to look it up on google doesn't count.

So you still lose.