A moral dilema.

**SPORK** · 28th August 2005, 22:15

Originally Posted by riffer

Good call Biff. That's what my wife and I agreed you should do when we discussed it tonight.

Much more interesting than Jeremy Clarkson...

Getting chased by a tank, or playing car soccer?

I think not! Best episode so far, in my awful opinion!

**oldrider** · 28th August 2005, 22:49

Biff, how would it be if you were doing the work on his computer as a professional service? Would things be any different? The only thing you have got mixed up in is the "personal" deceit between two mutual friends. I would not tell her before I set ground rules with him. Him being a Gay isn't a problem it's his deception and he is making his problem your problem. Good Luck. Cheers John.

**Lou Girardin** · 29th August 2005, 12:17

Have you wondered why he's asking you over to fix his PC, knowing that you'll see his gay inclinations.
I think he likes you Biff.

**Lias** · 29th August 2005, 12:30

Odds are its going to come back to bite you no matter what you do.

A few years ago a mate of mine got me to clean up his parents PC, and I found similar stuff.. spyware, and a healthy dose of gay porn sites in the cache. My mate was sitting there next to me at the time and he knew what he was seeing, but he didnt want to confront his parents and that was FINE with me.

Then a few years later I got a phone call out of the blue from him, he was really upset and put his mum on the phone , demanding I told her what I'd see on the PC. Seem's after some straw had snapped my mate had turned around and accused his father of abusing him as a kid, and was using the gay porn as "evidence" to his mum.

Shit got very messy in that famiily, and my mate and his parents/brother all but stopped talking to each other for the next 2 years or so, they are sort of talking again now but I wish I'd never cleaned up that computer.

**scumdog** · 29th August 2005, 12:30

Originally Posted by Biff

Thanks guys n gals. No easy fix - but I've decided that following advice here, and by thinking about it today, I'll opt for not helping him out with his PC any more, if the problem involves trying to cover his tracks. I don't need this shite. And I don't want to be part of his ongoing dishonesty/denial to his wife.

Cheers all.

Good choice!!
Unfortunately you have already been put in a delima (sp?0 by not revealing what you knew to the wife and your response to her my 'bite you on the bum' (probably not the ideal choice of words) when the 'poo hits the fan' (again) and he tells her you knew all along.

Good Luck.

**Biff** · 29th August 2005, 12:59

Originally Posted by Lou Girardin

Have you wondered why he's asking you over to fix his PC, knowing that you'll see his gay inclinations.
I think he likes you Biff.

Don't you start. Ms Biff has already made similar comments, especially as he always appears to come over for a 'chat' when I've got my leathers on ready to go for a ride....

Originally Posted by scumdog

Unfortunately you have already been put in a delima.

Yup - I've probably already made an arse of myself. His wife already has an idea that he has an 'interest' in other guys, so she probably thinks I'm liar. Which I obviously am because I didn't grass him up. And now I feel like a cnt.

As a rather wise KBer has just said to me, "the road hell is paved with good intentions."

**ManDownUnder** · 29th August 2005, 13:05

Originally Posted by Biff

Thanks guys n gals. No easy fix - but I've decided that following advice here, and by thinking about it today, I'll opt for not helping him out with his PC any more, if the problem involves trying to cover his tracks. I don't need this shite. And I don't want to be part of his ongoing dishonesty/denial to his wife.

Cheers all.

Good move

I'd let him know you are now caught in a bind between a conflicting set of requirements. You were honoring an implicit need for discretion toward him, but now his wife has forced you into a no win position.

There is a BIG difference between Privacy and secrecy in a relationship, something that was private to this guy has now become a secret between him and you.

Let him know that you won't help any more (as you have) and also let him know that if he needs help with his dilemma there are a number of professional people that can help him, and his wife, and their relatinship, make the best of this awkward situation.

It's his problem chap... not yours, you just happen to have been stuck in the middle of it all.

Turn it on it's head - what would you want to happen if you were that guy, and your neighbour rumbled some secret that could cause disaster at home? He could well be shitting bricks right now and the fact is that he'll either need to face up to it, or stop playing silly buggers.

Good luck dude, and nice to see you oin a serious thread for a change!
MDU

**Lou Girardin** · 29th August 2005, 14:31

Originally Posted by Biff

Don't you start. Ms Biff has already made similar comments, especially as he always appears to come over for a 'chat' when I've got my leathers on ready to go for a ride....

Then it's beyond dispute. Did you see any of his porn sites?
Lots of leather freaks in them perhaps?
You can really worry when he starts hinting for a ride on the pillion.

**Beemer** · 29th August 2005, 15:12

Originally Posted by Lou Girardin

Have you wondered why he's asking you over to fix his PC, knowing that you'll see his gay inclinations.
I think he likes you Biff.

I was going to raise this point but figured I'd be flamed for lowering the tone of the thread! But now that Lou has mentioned it, mmn, makes sense! Perhaps he's hoping you'll spill the beans to his wife, she'll move out and he can move you in!

**Biff** · 29th August 2005, 15:16

Originally Posted by Lou Girardin

Then it's beyond dispute. Did you see any of his porn sites?
Lots of leather freaks in them perhaps?

You're right, he did appear to have a thing for leather clad freaks. I think his favourite site was something like www.leathercladbikersthatworkinbikeshops.com.

**sir.pratt** · 29th August 2005, 15:23

That link doesn't work.

**Wolf** · 29th August 2005, 15:49

Originally Posted by sir.pratt

That link doesn't work.

Probably because it's the same as www.biffisgettingatlouagain.com

**Lou Girardin** · 29th August 2005, 16:19

Originally Posted by Biff

You're right, he did appear to have a thing for leather clad freaks. I think his favourite site was something like www.leathercladbikersthatworkinbikeshops.com.

Holy shit! I'm glad I wear masculine textile then.

BTW Who else was praying that the Challenger on Top Gear had a live one up the spout?