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Thread: Bet you guys wish you lived in Swaziland!

  1. #1
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    Bet you guys wish you lived in Swaziland!

    LUDZIDZINI ROYAL VILLAGE, Swaziland: More than 50,000 bare-breasted virgins vied to become the King of Swaziland's 13th wife yesterday in a ceremony which critics say ill befits a country with the world's highest HIV/Aids rate.


    King Mswati III, sub-Saharan Africa's last absolute monarch, arrived dressed in a leopard-skin loincloth to watch the Reed Dance ceremony, which he has used since 1999 to pluck new brides from the girls dressed in little more than beaded mini-skirts.

    Wielding machetes and singing tributes to the king and queen mother, also known as the Great She-Elephant, the girls danced around the royal stadium in the hope of catching the eye of the 37-year-old monarch.

    "I want to live a nice life, have money, be rich, have a BMW and cellphone," said one dancer, 16-year-old Zodwa Mamba, who wore a traditional brightly coloured tasselled scarf.

    Critics say Mswati, who has courted controversy for his lavish lifestyle while two thirds of his subjects live in abject poverty, sets a bad example by encouraging polygamy and teenage sex in a country where 40 per cent of adults live with HIV.

    Some say the Reed Dance, traditionally meant to celebrate womanhood and virginity, has become little more than a showcase for the king's young would-be brides.

    "The Reed Dance has been abused for one man's personal satisfaction," Mario Masuku, leader of the banned opposition party, said. "The king has a passion for young women and opulence."

    But many Swazis say the young monarch has a right to do as he pleases, defending his penchant for young brides as Swazi tradition and arguing that ceremonies like the Reed Dance, which this year drew a record 50,000 maidens, cement national identity.

    "The king takes a wife whenever he wants and that's the way it is. This is our culture and we will never change," said Tsandzile Ndluva, 21, another dancer.

    TICKET TO WEALTH

    Many maidens, who come from villages across the country, dream of joining the king's wives who each have their own palace and BMW car. But others were scared catching the royal eye could curtail their freedom and force them into a polygamous marriage.

    "Marriage is about love, not money," said trainee police officer Patience Dlamini, who jazzed up her traditional outfit with a fake diamond necklace. "This thing of many wives is not good, how does he satisfy them all?"

    The king has also drawn censure from rights groups and the international community for entrenching a ban on political parties in the nation of 1 million people squashed between South Africa and Mozambique.

    But despite criticism of Mswati abroad, Masuku's outlawed People's United Democratic Movement (PUDEMO) has failed to muster much support at home, partly because many ordinary people back the king and ceremonies like the Reed Dance as symbols of national identity.

    Yesterday's ceremony was the culmination of a week of preparations, which included the lifting of a royal ban on sex with virgins, decreed in 2001 to help rein in HIV.

    Days after reviving the ancient ban, Mswati in 2001, married a virgin and fined himself one cow. Last week he lifted the five-year ban a year early, ordering thousands of maidens to throw off chastity scarves worn to ward off preying men.

    "What the king did by taking another wife was not good, because he was meant to keep virginity," said 20-year-old Zanele Dlamini, a health worker who chose not to join in the dance. "He is not a good leader because multiple wives can spread HIV."

    Palace officials said that if the king did select a new wife at Monday's dance, the announcement would not be made immediately.
    Yes, I am pedantic about spelling and grammar so get used to it!

  2. #2
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    Wheres the pictures!!!!
    “- He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.”

  3. #3
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    The HIV problem in Africa is a lot worse than we think.
    The way they get the numbers is flawed, to put it another way...
    If they say 20% the real figure is probably closer to 50%
    This is how the numbers are gathered:
    Every PREGNANT woman who goes to a clinic/hospital gets an AIDS’s test...
    No male's, no woman who aren’t carrying, and no children.
    Unless they are sick enough to be taken and then they are tested, if they make it there.
    I was told this by my father who used to work for the UN in Africa and I have had it confirmed by a friend that went to the AIDS’s summit over there a few years ago.
    We have no idea what the full impact will be yet and there is nothing we can do to help the situation.
    You can go into a village and only the old (haven’t got it) and the young (have it, but not dead yet) are left.
    Oddly enough the people in power (in Africa) don’t see it as a pressing problem!
    Such a caring world we inhabit!
    We all have our little obsessions...

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by myvice
    Oddly enough the people in power (in Africa) don’t see it as a pressing problem!
    If I had the choice between shagging however many nubile young virgins, I can't say I'd be too concerned about my loyal subjects dying a horrible death either. Let's not let the facts get in the way of one man's polygymous lifestyle.
    "You, Madboy, are the Uncooked Pork Sausage of Sausage Beasts. With extra herbs."
    - Jim2 c2006

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    http://www.kzn.org.za/kzn/news/283.xml

    For that guy that wanted a link/pictures.


    I found it using this amazing interweb site called something like "googal" or some shit.
    Quote Originally Posted by skidMark View Post
    if you have a face afterwards well... that depends how you act...

  6. #6
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    Nah - I prefer tall, blue eyed brunettes.
    And virgins?!? - who needs that shit - gimme a girl who knows how it all works right from the get go - any day!

  7. #7
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    cooooooool... wonder if i have any long lost blood putting me on the throne?
    There is no dark side of the moon, really, as a matter of fact. Its all dark...

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by OMGWTFBBQ
    http://www.kzn.org.za/kzn/news/283.xml

    For that guy that wanted a link/pictures.


    I found it using this amazing interweb site called something like "googal" or some shit.

    If that's the example of the woman he can have 'em.

    Skyryder
    Free Scott Watson.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skyryder
    If that's the example of the woman he can have 'em.

    Skyryder
    Seconded. Hell, I'll save everyone the trouble and third, fourth and fith it too.
    Quote Originally Posted by skidMark View Post
    if you have a face afterwards well... that depends how you act...

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Big Dave
    Nah - I prefer tall, blue eyed brunettes.
    And virgins?!? - who needs that shit - gimme a girl who knows how it all works right from the get go - any day!
    Great minds......
    This weeks international insult is in Malayalam:

    Thavalayolee
    You Frog Fucker

  11. #11
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    Ahhhhhh, Africa.
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Big Dave
    Nah - I prefer tall, blue eyed brunettes.
    And virgins?!? - who needs that shit - gimme a girl who knows how it all works right from the get go - any day!
    and the older the better (no over 50 offers thanks)


  13. #13
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    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

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