help/ advice

[SARGE]

bit of background on the boy.. his air-thief mom moved a junkie in 2 weeks after she broke it off with me.. he ended up beating spud up one night when he was 7.. junkie and i had a long chat in the alley behind the house the next night...

wasnt pretty, but was worth the jail time...

[Motu]

Funny how we all went off the rails as kids...but turned out OK in the end - and yet we don't want to offer that experiance to our kids.

I've written a couple of long involved replies to this thread....then hit delete.Fatherhood's a damn site harder than riding a bike,none of us are ''naturals'',but we seem to be wobbling along in the right direction....

[SARGE]

Funny how we all went off the rails as kids...but turned out OK in the end - and yet we don't want to offer that experiance to our kids.

I've written a couple of long involved replies to this thread....then hit delete.Fatherhood's a damn site harder than riding a bike,none of us are ''naturals'',but we seem to be wobbling along in the right direction....

damn Motu.. woulda loved to see the replies

i was a bit of a dirtbag when i was a kid.. the Military put me right though ( ive already told him he's gonna go into the US Navy or Air Force when he hits 18.. no Marine Corps or Army.. gotta learn a trade/ skill)


i guess what im worried about is that ive got a mini-me in the making..

[SixPackBack]

damn Motu.. woulda loved to see the replies

i was a bit of a dirtbag when i was a kid.. the Military put me right though ( ive already told him he's gonna go into the US Navy or Air Force when he hits 18.. no Marine Corps or Army.. gotta learn a trade/ skill)


i guess what im worried about is that ive got a mini-me in the making..

You have just answered your own question Sarge. the 'minime' bit. Cast your mind back, what would have motivated you and set you on the right track?
My two sense worth.....talk lots and make sure there is never any doubt in his mind how much you care for him. Encourage him to get a hobby, it does'nt really matter what it is, the motivation and interest it provides will spill into all areas of his life. Sending him to another school is running.....American's do not run, they stand and fight!

[oldrider]

Sarge, when I talked about the people psychology thingy there is a way to begin the process and it doesn't have to cost you a dime. It means you have to begin with your self. If you don't really know your self, how can you possibly hope to know the boy? You are such a lucky guy, there's so much for you both to look forward to. It's a bit like riding your bike really, what you focus on you can bet your bottom dollar you will hit it. If you go through life focused on negatives you will find them in their thousands. You gotta get focused on what the two of you really want out of life. Now there's a starting point, ask him (Don't tell him) has he ever really thought about it?
Once you are able to engage him you can start exploring all the options together. The opportunities you can dream up are endless and can be as exciting as you want it to be. A good place to start is trying to understand each other honestly. He's a brand new man and you are a brand new old man swapping notes should be a lot of fun. I have a few tools you can use if you are interested but you might think I am a bit off the planet if you are not familiar with some of the concepts. You don't need a Fathers manual. This situation is unique it's about you and him and no book has been written for it. You are writing the manual together. Good luck, I am here for you if you want anything more from me. you are more than welcome. Cheers John.

[SARGE]

talk lots and make sure there is never any doubt in his mind how much you care for him. Encourage him to get a hobby, it does'nt really matter what it is, the motivation and interest it provides will spill into all areas of his life.

we do spend alot of time together ..during the summer.. he is my little backpack on the FJ.. we are always out in the yard looking at the stars together ( maybe in his lifetime we will set foot on one of them) and i have started reading with him every night ( making him read out loud to me)
he really is a great kid and im so glad i have the opportunity to see him grow up