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Thread: Australian letter

  1. #1
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    Australian letter

    AUSTRALIAN LETTER - I think the sender might have been upset!

    This is an actual letter sent to the DFAT (Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade) Immigration Minister.

    The Government tried desperately to censure the author, but got nowhere because every legal person who read it couldn’t stop laughing !

    Dear Mr Minister,

    I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows that I bought a television set and golf clubs and condoms from them back in 1997, and yet the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born
    and on what date ?

    For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand ?
    My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years. It is also on my driver's licence, on the last eight passports I've ever had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off planes over the past 30 years. It's also on all those insufferable census forms that I've filled out every 5 years since 1966.
    Also... would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Audrey, my father's name is Jack, and I'd be absolutely bloody astounded if that ever
    changed between now and when I drop dead !!!

    SHIT! What do you people do with all this information we keep having to provide? I apologize, Mr. Minister. But I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you and me, I've had enough of all this bullshit!
    You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my bloody address!
    What the hell is going on with your mob? Have you got a gang of mindless Neanderthal arseholes working there!

    And another thing, look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I can't even grow a beard for God's sakes. I just want to go to New Zealand and see my new granddaughter. (Yes, my son interbred with a Kiwi girl). And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether or not I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? In the unlikely event I ever got the urge to do something weird to a sheep or a horse, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

    Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other side of Sydney , and get another bloody copy of my birth certificate - and to part with another $80 for the privilege of
    accessing MY OWN INFORMATION!

    Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot, to assist in the issuance of a new passport on the same day? Nooooo…that'd be too bloody easy and makes far too much sense. You would much prefer to have us running all over the bloody place like chickens with our heads cut off, and then having to find some 'high-society' wanker to confirm
    that it's really me in the goddamn photo! You know the photo... the one where we're not allowed to smile?...you bloody morons.

    Signed - An Irate Australian Citizen.

    P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture, and getting someone in 'high-society' to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since before 1820! In 1856, one of my forefathers took up arms with Peter Lalor. (You do remember the Eureka Stockade!)

    I have also served in both the CMF and regular Army for something over 30 years (I went to Vietnam in 1967), and still have high security clearances. I'm also a personal friend of the president of the RSL....Lt General Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card each year.

    However, your rules require that I have to get someone "important" to verify who I am; you know...someone like my doctor - WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN BLOODY PAKISTAN!...a country where they either
    assassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers - and are suspended from the Commonwealth and United Nations for not having the "right sort of government"..

    You are all pen-pushing paper-shuffling bloody idiots!
    Why would you ride that long and that gnarly stuff if you don't have to, Its what we do, we love it.
    Nathan Woods R.I.P.

  2. #2
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    It's no different here.

    My mrs filled out the online form to get a new AT Hop card. It arrived - then last week she gets an email telling her that she hasn't registered the Hop card. Er... if AT mailed the card I think they know who has it.

  3. #3
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    If you think that's bad, it's really not. Just try to get shit done in Africa. The fucking president of South Africa had unprotected sex with someone, and then had a shower afterward to prevent him getting HIV/AIDS. If the president of the country is that fucking stupid, how do you think the rest of the government is?

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by SMOKEU View Post
    If you think that's bad, it's really not. Just try to get shit done in Africa. The fucking president of South Africa had unprotected sex with someone, and then had a shower afterward to prevent him getting HIV/AIDS. If the president of the country is that fucking stupid, how do you think the rest of the population is?
    Is this what you really meant ?????????
    I mentioned vegetables once, but I think I got away with it...........

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Woodman View Post
    Is this what you really meant ?????????
    Yes, that clarifies my point better.

    But the crackers aren't included in that stupidity, except for in exceptional circumstances.

  6. #6
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    FW: FW: FW: RE: FW: FW: LOL this is SOOOO funny!! FW: fw: Check this out!!

    Sent from: Nana
    Date: January 2009

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mike.Gayner View Post
    FW: FW: FW: RE: FW: FW: LOL this is SOOOO funny!! FW: fw: Check this out!!

    Sent from: Nana
    Date: January 2009
    who hurt you Gayner?
    Sticking to the back roads

  8. #8
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    It is normally the Uncle.

  9. #9
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    A bit like Immigration in the Philippines.
    "Statistics are used as a drunk uses lampposts - for support, not illumination."

  10. #10
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    his head would melt if he came to japan

    try taking some money out of your own bank account when you have forgotten your bank card .......


    Stephen
    "Look, Madame, where we live, look how we live ... look at the life we have...The Republic has forgotten us."

  11. #11
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    you've posted this in 'jokes and humor' ... as though it's funny

    it's not funny - it's sad
    ... ...

    Grass wedges its way between the closest blocks of marble and it brings them down. This power of feeble life which can creep in anywhere is greater than that of the mighty behind their cannons....... - Honore de Balzac

  12. #12
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    Get this. I have a greencard. Kindalike a national ID for USA. Has all my details on it.
    I also have an international drivers permit.....once again with all my details.
    I have a folder full of stuff that says who I am, where I reside.....

    But when I went to go buy a car - you need a state ID or state drivers license to buy a car?
    So turns out the United part of USA is a bit of marketing. National ID < State ID.

    So where do I get a state ID.....I drive to the DMV and wait a day to get something that looks oddly similar to my greencard........but instead of USA it says "Connecticut"
    Then we go to buy the car.........but alas even though I can see and touch the car I can't drive it home because it must be registered into my name (hence the id). So it needs to have plates made specifically for me.......3 days later we can pick up the car. All up 1 week of fun to do something that takes me 5 minutes in NZ.

    Just one of the 1000's of mountains of paperwork mountains we have have climbed in the last 6 months.
    Been told the west coast is a little more relaxed.....probably because they are further away from the whitehouse.....
    Reactor Online. Sensors Online. Weapons Online. All Systems Nominal.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by SMOKEU View Post
    If you think that's bad, it's really not. Just try to get shit done in Africa. The fucking president of South Africa had unprotected sex with someone, and then had a shower afterward to prevent him getting HIV/AIDS. If the president of the country is that fucking stupid, how do you think the rest of the government is?
    I think we know how stupid most politicians are. As stupid as the voters that elect them, plus, greed, corruption, inertia, laziness, nepotism, favouritism, cronyism, horsetrading, and assorted other pathologies.

  14. #14
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    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyeM...e_gdata_player

    Sent from my SC-01F using Tapatalk
    "Look, Madame, where we live, look how we live ... look at the life we have...The Republic has forgotten us."

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