My reply to those 319 Nigerian buggers
I hate those bastards that send me e-mails telling me that Im the long-lost relative of someone who died and they owe me big money ect. So Ive composed my own get rich quick scheme that I need their help in 
Dear John:
I know you are always interested in looking for opportunities for
investment.
I don't know if you would be interested in this, but I thought I would
mention it to you because it could be a real "sleeper" in making a lot of
money with very little investment.
A group of us is considering investing in a large cat ranch near
Hermosillo, Mexico. It is our intention to start rather small with about
one million cats. Each cat averages about twelve kittens each year; skins
can be sold for about twenty cents for the white ones and up to forty cents
for the black. This will give us twelve million cat skins per year to sell
at an average price of around thirty-two cents, making revenue about $3
million a year. This averages out to about $10 thousand a day excluding
Sundays and holidays.
A good Mexican cat man can skin about fifty cats per day at a wage of $3.15
a day. It will take only 633 men to operate the ranch, so the net profit
would be over $8,200 per day.
Now, the cats would be fed on rats exclusively. Rats multiply four times
faster than cats. We would start a rat ranch adjacent to our cat ranch. If
we started with a million rats, we will have four rats per cat per day. The
rats will be fed on the carcasses of the cats we skin. This will give each
rat a quarter of cat per day. You can see by this that the business is a
clean operation, self-supporting, and really automatic throughout. The cats
will eat the rats, and the rats will eat the cats, and we will get the
skins.
Eventually, it is my hope to cross the cats with snakes because snakes skin
themselves twice a year. This will save the labor costs of skinning the
cats as well as giving us two skins per cat.
Let me know if you are interested. As you can imagine, I'm rather
particular whom I want in this deal. And I want the fewest investors
possible.
May I hear from you at your earliest convenience.
To every man upon this earth
Death cometh sooner or late
And how can a man die better
Than facing fearful odds
For the ashes of his fathers
And the temples of his Gods
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Originally Posted by DingDong
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