Alcohol, the cause, and answer to all problems

[SMOKEU]

Waking up in the morning after a night out with a chicken running around in the back yard. The chicken wasn't there before...

[Motu]

Us old guys were lucky that it was legal to drive and ride drunk, young guys have it tough.

We used to go to the pub for lunch...and the foreman would be there too. On night shift the storeman would have a shot of bourbon for you when you got parts...so we got a lot of parts...or the wrong ones. Sometimes he'd have a joint too. It got confusing at times trying to put something together that you pulled apart earlier in the day - I seem to be reliving those times these days....

[unstuck]

Rode an ag 100 around the isles in pricechopper supermarket in Browns Bay after a big bottle of southern comfert. Tried to jump 4 cars on my XL185 super farmer, only made 2 and a half, too pissed. Rode three up on an xs 400 from the shore to ranui and back, no helmets, none of us could stand properly, well and truley pissed. Plus many more escapades that could get me in trouble, so I will keep those to myself.

[Mental Trousers]

Waking up in the morning after a night out with a chicken running around in the back yard. The chicken wasn't there before...

Did it have tape stuck to it's feathers?

[ellipsis]

...stories of pissed derring do's and craziness are generally a retro look at how imbecilic and stupid we were, tinged with about 0.001% real humour...like the time we took a heifer from a paddock and marched her a k or so to a dance in a hall...poor beast got on the slippery dance floor and went crazy, not sure if it was the lights or the music, but there was more shit in the hall than out in the paddock. Cringe worthy now, are most of these tales...

[SMOKEU]

Did it have tape stuck to it's feathers?

It didn't actually! It was just running around the yard randomly. Then I went to Pak'n Save to buy a 10kg bag of chicken feed which I carried home on the fuel tank of my CBR250.

[R650R]

Only old feckers are replying,
Comon youfth, lets hear hows RTDs make you strong n clever.
Or are you all full of piss n wind.

Not really an RTD drinker but made a giant RTD once that helped end a mates relationship with his abusive control freak SWF type nutbar partner that he was too scared to breakup with.
She pissed me off when she said I wasn't allowed(seriously) to mix my (own) vodka with mountain dew WTF!!! So I poured half bottle of dew into 1/4 bottle of Smirnoff and rocked on..
A few rounds of vomiting later my mate refused to follow her orders to throw me into street as I was in a bad state.
About then she realised she wasn't number one in his life, the lads and bikes were. Sometime later she managed to remove the front door from its hinges with her violent outbursts I kid you not.
After he broke free non of us were allowed to divulge his new address to her.
Now he's with another one same and no bikes, must be a sucker for the S&M aspect...

Not my drunkness for this one but one guy worked with in UK was totally wiped out in Pub.
After noticing him missing we found him in toilets, a sorry site of vomit and the shits and unable to move really. We had to get him out before the bouncers saw how trashed the place was.
Lucky our sober driver had a landrover so the military style wounded soldier extraction out the back of pub was on.
The Landrover driver was a right perve and used to collect the Page 3 newspapers, his boot was stacked full of them seriously!!! I had to fight with him to sacrifice his papers so his own wagon didn't get covered in filth, like a scene from a tarantino film.
We got the fella home and couple guys stayed to make sure he didn't die in sleep.
Couple of real good ads for not to abuse alcohol!!!

So whose up for a drink lol.... yep booze you really don't need it.

[Woodman]

...stories of pissed derring do's and craziness are generally a retro look at how imbecilic and stupid we were, tinged with about 0.001% real humour...like the time we took a heifer from a paddock and marched her a k or so to a dance in a hall...poor beast got on the slippery dance floor and went crazy, not sure if it was the lights or the music, but there was more shit in the hall than out in the paddock. Cringe worthy now, are most of these tales...

Bloody hilarious at the time and great to reminisce with old mates. Just as many visits to A&E through drunken hi-jinx than there were from rugby and motorcycles. Mind you all three were closely related. Mrs Woodman can't believe we all survived (relatively) unscathed.

Again , Good times

[MIXONE]

Arriving home after a few only to forget to put my foot down.Splat,one CBX parked on top of me.

[Big Dog]

Only old feckers are replying,
Comon youfth, lets hear hows RTDs make you strong n clever.
Or are you all full of piss n wind.

Statues of limitations may not apply yet. Lol.


Stupid phone / Tapatalk, apologies in advance.

[avgas]

Hmmmm so many dumb things.
Probably the simplest one was I parked bike at back of garage so was out of way for party. Had a few with mates, and after they all left I moved the car back into garage......misjudged distance and pinned bike into wall.
Bike was quite durable (GB400) so not a big problem. But I also had to then fix the garage wall as the peg, side stand, handle bar all went straight through the gib board. Also the Mrs was pissed that I crunched the bumper a bit in her Corona.

Another time I had a few and thought it was burnout time on the RZ. Burnout went well enough until I got traction for some unknown reason and put the bike through a stop sign. The irony stuck with me for sometime.

The thing that used to always get me on the TS was when I was too pissed, I would sit on the bike and kick the fucking thing 100 times. Adjust the choke, inspect the fuel lines, turn the key off and on.......pull my fucking hair out and then realize the switch was set to off instead of run. It was actually a good sober test. Unfortunately now I remember it.

[BuzzardNZ]

Was walking home from a party with a few mates pissed as fuck, fell down a step bank and fell asleep in the middle of a gorse bush ( arsehole mates were so pissed they didn't know where I'd gone and fucked off ). Had about 1000 prickles all over my face and body.

[scumdog]

MANY years ago I woke up sprawled across the front seat of me '56 Mainline with a wet arse and a view of large willow trees, was sure I'd crashed into the river while heading home from the pub., started to get the shits up "what if it slips further into the river" stuff.

After struggling to get vertical very carefully I discovered I was parked in my drive with the door open and got the wet arse from rain pouring on me while I was joed-out across the seat...and the trees had always been there, just I'd never seen them at that angle before...

[blue rider]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stroh

Stroh Rum

80%
t'was an interesting night, once i remembered

[Big Dog]

Walking home from my 21st after the obligatory 21 shots, or should I say staggering, it suddenly became apparent I was not making any progress relative to the footbridge.
After a due consideration it became apparent that there should it be a foot bridge on the way home. So I stopped to investigate this turn of events.
After a little careful thought it seemed reasonable that I was off track. For those familiar with Taranaki somehow I had ended up on redcoat lane.
So that was the where but did not explain the why. It dawned on me that it was unusual the stars were to my left and the bridge to my right. Stood myself up and returned to the main road and proceeded on my way.

I may have got home with undergrowth in my hair and gravel in my jeans, but I still got laid for my birthday when I got there!



Stupid phone / Tapatalk, apologies in advance.