Zippy One-Liners

What is the sharpest thing in the world?
A Fart. It goes through your pants and doesn't even leave a hole.

A skeleton was trying to fart in a crowded place.
But in the end it couldn't 'cos it had no guts.

What's the definition of bravery?
A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!

What happened to the blind skunk?
He fell in love with a fart.

What do you get if you eat beans and onions?
Tear Gas.
You're so poor:
You had to fart in your pocket to make a scent.

Why fart and waste when you can burp and taste?

Why don't little girls fart?
Because they don't have assholes until they're married.

What do you call a fart?
A turd honking for the right of way.

If I wanted to hear from an asshole I would fart.

What did the maxi-pad say to the fart?
You are the wind beneath my wings.

What do you call "fart" in German?
Farfrompoopin!

Your ass is so tight:
You fart and only dogs can hear it.

What do you call someone who doesn't fart in public?
A private tutor!

Laugh and the world laughs with you; fart and they'll stop laughing.

Confucius say:
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.