Joke

[Spicer]

Subject: Fwd: joke

My husband and I were dressed and ready to go out for a lovely evening of dinner and theatre. Having been burgled in the past, we turned on a 'night light' and the answering machine, then put the cat in the backyard. When our cab arrived, we walked out our front door and our rather tubby cat scooted between our legs inside, then ran up the stairs. Because our cat likes to chase our budgie we really didn't want to leave them unchaperoned so my husband ran inside to retrieve her and put her in the back yard again. Because i didn't want the taxi driver to know our house was going to be empty all evening, i explained to him that my husband would be out momentarily as he was just bidding goodnight to my mother. A few minutes later he got into the cab all hot and bothered, and said (to my growing horror and amusement) as the cab pulled away. "Sorry it took so long but the stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and i had to poke her arse with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off so i grabbed her by the neck and wrapped her in a blanket so she wouldn't scratch me like she did last time. But it worked! I hauled her fat arse down the stairs and threw her into the backyard....she had better not shit in the vegetable garden again." The silence in the taxi was deafening.....

[Akzle]

ahh, you've come too far, back up a bit, down the hall on your left you'll find a jokes thread. go there.
also, there's a big button toward the right of your keyboard that will be marked "return" or "enter"
PRACTICE USING IT.

[FJRider]

ahh, you've come too far, back up a bit ...

Why ... he's entitled to start his OWN thread if he chooses ...

His post makes better reading than ANY of yours ...

[AllanB]

I quite enjoyed that. Ignore that nah sayer. He doeth not know humour.

[Urano]

it's fun.

but it had been funnier if true...

[Spicer]

ahh, you've come too far, back up a bit, down the hall on your left you'll find a jokes thread. go there.
also, there's a big button toward the right of your keyboard that will be marked "return" or "enter"
PRACTICE USING IT.

Thanks for the advice Akzle.But I think ill stick to what I was doing BEFORE! Have A Good Day.

[unstuck]

Thanks for the advice Akzle.But I think ill stick to what I was doing BEFORE! Have A Good Day.

Too polite son. Talk to him in a language he can understand. Get fucked ya goat shagging hippy, now thats the way you want to go. Your welcome.

[FJRider]

Too polite son. Talk to him in a language he can understand. Get fucked ya goat shagging hippy, now thats the way you want to go. Your welcome.

Still .... far too polite ..

[Spicer]

A new phenomenon called

E-MOONING
We all know those cute little computer symbols called 'emoticons,' where:
means a smile and
is a frown.

Well, how about some 'ASSICONS?'
Here goes:
(_!_) a regular ass
(__!__) a fat ass

(!) a tight ass
(_*_) an ass hole

{_!_} a swishy ass

(_o_) an ass that's been around

(_x_)kiss my ass


(_X_) leave my ass alone

(_zzz_) a tired ass


(_E=mc2_) a smart ass
(_$_) Money coming out of his ass


(_?_) Dumb Ass

You have just been e-mooned! Send
this to 5 people within the next hour and
you will be blessed with people laughing
their asses off at your e-mail.




An 18-year-old suicide bomber blew himself up and appeared before Allah. He said, "Oh, Allah, I did your bidding, but I have a request. Since I'm only 18 and spent all my time in terrorist training school, I have never been with a woman. So, instead of 72 virgins, who also won't know what to do sexually, can I have 72 whores?" Allah regarded him for a moment, then replied, "Actually, the 72 virgins are here in heaven because arseholes like you murdered them before they could experience the pleasure of sex. So you're here to service them. Since they're virgins, they're quite sexually ravenous; and, frankly, you'll be on constant, exhausting duty." The bomber responded, "Well, I guess I can live with that. How hard can it be to keep 72 women satisfied for all eternity?" Allah replied, "Who said they were women?"

[Virago]

A collective shiver just ran up the spines of BDOTGNZA.