Birthing shows rant - full of inappropriate assumptions

**AllanB** · 2nd July 2014, 21:46

I can't wait until Friday to have this rant

Birthing Shows on TV. TV1 in particular tonight - One Born Every Minute. It's a English show about child birth in some Pommy hospital.

I fail to understand the interest women folk have in it. Is it wanting to watch someone else go through the discomfort they once experienced?

The show appears to be full of young slappers and their dim-witted male counterparts. I struggle with the implied stupidity of most of the menfolk - I presume they are acting as otherwise I fail to see how some of them actually impregnated their partner. I'm guessing it was a 50/50 chance of hitting the correct hole and then a 20% chance of dribble finding the right orifice. Having said that there is a high chance most of their sperm cannot swim and drown in the cum carrier fluid.

Most of the pregnant women appear to be struggling to accept they are actually going to give birth. Presumably for the first 7 months they just thought they were getting fat (fatter.....). Then they appear shocked as to where the baby is going to exit from. Cue lots of screaming and cursing. Before they have to start pushing.

It's a hour I rather spend doing the dishes after a long day at work.

Add to my list of rant TV shows - all the Aussie shows - Master Cook, Border Line, Aussie's got Tallent, Masterbatter etc etc etc. One channel on one night has thre or four of the bloody Aussie shows back to back. Farks sake we are New Zealand - are there no good local shows about Sheep shagging or something?

And I have Igloo - 30 odd channels of questionable TV now .......

**awa355** · 2nd July 2014, 22:34

Jeremy Kyle has to be the absolute pits. Surely those fat bodied pierced slobs have to be paid actors?

The Jones channel, Who in their right mind would pay to view 40-50 year old crap like The Brady Bunch, Bewitched,

Any reality show,

My rant over,

**buggerit** · 2nd July 2014, 22:34

+1 ,It wasn't that hard to stick it in there, how hard can it be to back it out?

**Kickaha** · 2nd July 2014, 22:39

Originally Posted by AllanB

I fail to understand the interest women folk have in it.

Fuck knows, can't be that hard women have babies all the time

**Berries** · 2nd July 2014, 23:30

Originally Posted by AllanB

I fail to understand the interest women folk have in it.

Perhaps the wife is giving you a hint? Unless you watch it on your own you sick bastard. Mind you, there were some pubes at 4:36, a bucket of bubbling placenta at 21:32 and some gorgeous stretchmarks at 28:53. Shitting the bed at 45:12 was a bit over the top, but hey, it could be of interest to those from Christchurch. Like the stirrups, the plunger and the goat.

EDIT - Sorry, you are from Chch.

**Akzle** · 3rd July 2014, 01:04

100% of tv is shit. Except v8s and the gp.

**Gremlin** · 3rd July 2014, 01:21

Originally Posted by AllanB

And I have Igloo - 30 odd channels of questionable TV now .......

You have now paid for even more questionable content... But hey, lets focus on the stick in their eye eh?

Freeview only, otherwise I'll search the net for something I'm after. Anyway, it's the little voice telling you, you should be doing something productive. Freeview offers enough for me...

**unstuck** · 3rd July 2014, 05:37

Makes me wonder why someone would sit through a program that they cannot stand.

**5150** · 3rd July 2014, 07:29

Originally Posted by Berries

Mind you, there were some pubes at 4:36, a bucket of bubbling placenta at 21:32 and some gorgeous stretchmarks at 28:53. Shitting the bed at 45:12 was a bit over the top,

EDIT - Sorry, you are from Chch.

Sick Fuck You....

**awa355** · 3rd July 2014, 07:47

Originally Posted by unstuck

Makes me wonder why someone would sit through a program that they cannot stand.

Its going in the background. One of the few hassles of sharing a house. I told my wife, if she dies before me, the telly is going into the ground with her and on my way home, I'll be stopping off to pick up a " No Junk Mail " sticker for the letterbox.

**Paul in NZ** · 3rd July 2014, 07:56

Yeah its a funny thing but apparently pain from childbirth is like 120 out of a 100 and yet a while after having a baby most women start to think - 'hmmm - another little one would be nice to keep little soandso company'...

Ask any guy thats ever had a good kick in the nuts if he would like another one.... Chances are the answers no...

**mashman** · 3rd July 2014, 07:56

Useless program... I thought the missus would be as broody as hell after that and desperate for a vag full of white wees.

**unstuck** · 3rd July 2014, 07:57

Originally Posted by awa355

Its going in the background. One of the few hassles of sharing a house. I told my wife, if she dies before me, the telly is going into the ground with her and on my way home, I'll be stopping off to pick up a " No Junk Mail " sticker for the letterbox.

Thats what mancaves are for. Luckily we only have one telly, and thats in my room. Wifey dont watch tv. And I only have one so I dont miss country calender.

**TheDemonLord** · 3rd July 2014, 08:19

Originally Posted by awa355

Jeremy Kyle has to be the absolute pits. Surely those fat bodied pierced slobs have to be paid actors?

The Jones channel, Who in their right mind would pay to view 40-50 year old crap like The Brady Bunch, Bewitched,

Any reality show,

My rant over,

Jeremy Kyle is amazing! its absolutley hilarious to see idiots get the telling off they should have had 5,10,20 years ago.

Jones is also awesome because it plays Star Trek TNG

**Banditbandit** · 3rd July 2014, 09:53

Originally Posted by AllanB

I can't wait until Friday to have this rant

Birthing Shows on TV. TV1 in particular tonight - One Born Every Minute. It's a English show about child birth in some Pommy hospital.

I fail to understand the interest women folk have in it. Is it wanting to watch someone else go through the discomfort they once experienced?

The show appears to be full of young slappers and their dim-witted male counterparts. I struggle with the implied stupidity of most of the menfolk - I presume they are acting as otherwise I fail to see how some of them actually impregnated their partner. I'm guessing it was a 50/50 chance of hitting the correct hole and then a 20% chance of dribble finding the right orifice. Having said that there is a high chance most of their sperm cannot swim and drown in the cum carrier fluid.

Most of the pregnant women appear to be struggling to accept they are actually going to give birth. Presumably for the first 7 months they just thought they were getting fat (fatter.....). Then they appear shocked as to where the baby is going to exit from. Cue lots of screaming and cursing. Before they have to start pushing.

It's a hour I rather spend doing the dishes after a long day at work.

Add to my list of rant TV shows - all the Aussie shows - Master Cook, Border Line, Aussie's got Tallent, Masterbatter etc etc etc. One channel on one night has thre or four of the bloody Aussie shows back to back. Farks sake we are New Zealand - are there no good local shows about Sheep shagging or something?

And I have Igloo - 30 odd channels of questionable TV now .......

Fuck me .. use the OFF button and calm down.