Job to make life easier

[Lou Girardin]

(don't tell me you have a 'go' at photocopier salesmen too???)

No, but I've seen enough of them. A really different breed. But it's a laugh seeing salesmen compete to have the latest, greatest fuck-off supercar. (or trophy blonde)

[mikey]

should of forked out a few extra dollars an got ivory sights

[mstriumph]

Hmm, just thinking, I need a job where: I don't have to lie in a ditch wondering where the mad gunman is (while I can't see my own gunsight in the dark), where I don't have to chase drunken twats at high speed, where I don't have to sort out the personal lives of those that can't, where I don't have to issue a requisite amount of tickets, where I only work dayshifts, where I don't have to seperate a bunch of loud mouth 'jersey-pulling' drunk yobbos, where I don't have to face two car loads of youths bent on mayhem, where I can get to my tea less than six hours after it's due, where I don't have to look into crashed cars to see if any bodies are in them and NEVER, never get put 'on call'.....(That was just the highlights of this weekend).

And still get the same pay.

Oh that's right, I forgot, I just write out tickets for innocent motorists who NEVER speed etc...neh, silly old me!!

Rant over, I still love the job!!

I think someone needs a hug

[jimbo600]

All you buggers do a bang up job mate. We only get to see the vitriol that's printed in the media.

Got your leave plan in yet? Won't get CSI without it.......!

[madboy]

Just been told my drink-drive runner got $1,500 fine and 2 years disqualification, ah well, thems the chances you take when you do a runner.

Shit, just as well I don't drink and do runners... that's expensive.

To be honest, were it not for the hypocrisy I'd be forced into spouting, I'd quite like to do something interesting like police work. Just can't afford the pay cut and future earning potential. Hell, $60k at 40 yrs of age I'd be struggling to fund the toys.

If you could stomach it, a corporate job is what you want. Unlimited high-speed internet (although we aren't allowed any p*rn on our computers, you might miss that), a nice desk, workmates you can't punch, clients you can't have fall over and headbutt your knee (repeatedly), subordinates to do your work for you and nice 10am to 4pm Mon-Fri working hours, except Wednesdays when you have to lose a game of golf to your boss.

[thehollowmen]

I know...

but one of those poo sucker trucks exploded right in the middle of downtown Dunedin a few years back...spectacular picture in the ODdiTy. Occupational hazard when working with large volumes of poo-gas I guess.

I guess that in SD's line of work it is a different grade of scum that is dealt with: possibly a little less cultured on occasion...

I was driving in frount of it .. heard all the comotion.. gawd aweful racket. Was just outside the leviation on the one way heading north.

Scumdog - you've got huge amounts of respect from me for doing what you do.

[Lou Girardin]

9 injured including the mouth-breathers in the Pontiac. But who said it was drink-driving?

[Kickaha]

Hmm, just thinking, I need a job where: I don't have to lie in a ditch wondering where the mad gunman is (while I can't see my own gunsight in the dark), where I don't have to chase drunken twats at high speed, where I don't have to sort out the personal lives of those that can't, where I don't have to issue a requisite amount of tickets, where I only work dayshifts, where I don't have to seperate a bunch of loud mouth 'jersey-pulling' drunk yobbos, where I don't have to face two car loads of youths bent on mayhem, where I can get to my tea less than six hours after it's due, where I don't have to look into crashed cars to see if any bodies are in them and NEVER, never get put 'on call'.....(That was just the highlights of this weekend).

Harden up you soft bastard, I reckon people would pay good money to experience stuff like that, perhaps you turn it into a new tourist venture "Scumdog Adventure tours"

[vfrboy]

The guy involved in the CHCH crash that the cops were interested in died today so I guess one less idiot in the world. Having worked with the cops when I was in the Airforce doing drug recovery and hearing some stories I can say I don't envy your jobs at all, having to put up with the scum of life and all. Also did a stint as a prison officer when they were on strike and thats another job I wasn't keen on, especially when I was 19.

[stanko]

Do you like the authority bit? What about a fisheries officer, customs dude (contraband for africa , Tv appearence), parking nazi, the shit sucker sounds good but you want to own the suck truck not run it. Shit jobs is where the money is, tons of peeps make real good money in jobs that careers advisors have never heard of. My dream job would be in the line of drug testing. Id love to be a cop too - just for a couple of days though, then the security of my shit 4 days a week job would make me come to my senses.

[Jantar]

While researching the current Job Market to get an idea of what sort of ad we'll need to attract the right sort of applicant for our vacancy we came across what would be THE PERFECT JOB. The only trouble is our manager is scared that almost every guy in our team will apply for it.

The Job? Well its so good that instead of them paying me, I'd be prepared to pay them.

Its for a ....





Lingerie, Sales Consultant.

[Lou Girardin]

While researching the current Job Market to get an idea of what sort of ad we'll need to attract the right sort of applicant for our vacancy we came across what would be THE PERFECT JOB. The only trouble is our manager is scared that almost every guy in our team will apply for it.

The Job? Well its so good that instead of them paying me, I'd be prepared to pay them.

Its for a ....





Lingerie, Sales Consultant.

Are you free Mr Jantar?
There's an 18 stone heffalump who needs fitting for a bra.

[MSTRS:Me]

A LETTER FROM A POLICEMAN
Dear Mr./Mrs. Citizen
Well, I guess you have figured me out. I seem to fit neatly into the category you place me in. I'm stereotyped, characterized, standardized, classified, grouped, and always typical. I am the lousy cop.
Unfortunately, the reverse isn't true. I can never figure you out. From birth you teach your children that I am a person to beware of. Then, you are shocked when they identify me with my traditional enemy....The criminal.
You accuse me of coddling juveniles, until I catch your kid doing something wrong.You take an hour lunch, and several coffee breaks each day, then, point me out as a loafer if you see me have just one cup.
You pride yourself on your polished manners, but think nothing of interrupting my meals at noon with your troubles.
You raise hell about the guy who cuts you off in traffic, but, let me catch you doing the same thing, and all of a sudden I am picking on you.
You know ALL the traffic laws, but, never got one single ticket you deserved.
You shout "Abuse of Authority" if you see me driving fast to an emergency call, but raise 9 kinds of hell if I take more than 30 seconds responding to yours.
You call it "Part of my job" if someone hits me, but yell "Police brutality" if I strike back.
You would never think of telling your dentist how to pull a badly decayed tooth, or your doctor how to take out your appendix, but, you are ALWAYS willing to give me pointers on how to be a police officer.
You talk to me in a manner, and use language that would assure a bloody nose from anyone else, but, you expect me to stand there and take your verbal abuse without batting an eye.
You cry, "Something has to be done about crime", but you cant be bothered to get involved.
You have no use for me what so ever, but of course, it's OK for me to change a tire for your wife, or deliver your baby in the back seat of my patrol car enroute to the hospital, or, save your sons life with CPR and mouth to mouth resuscitation, or even forsake time with MY family working long hours overtime trying to find your lost daughter.
So, dear citizen, you stand there on your soapbox and rant and rave about the way I do my job, calling me every name in the book, but, never stop a minute to think that your property, your family, and maybe your life might someday depend on one thing......Me.
Respectfully,
A Lousy Cop

[scumdog]

I read a similar posting to the one above, it included the name of the trooper (cop) that penned it - also mentioned he was killed (shot I think) not long afterwards and was pretty young to kark it.