My Mum has advanced bone cancer

[Waihou Thumper]

Shit that's terrible news .Your Mums your Mum and she allways will be .All the best for you and your family mate.

Thanks and much appreciated...

[Mushu]

Like many on here I went through something similar with my mother, she had multiple sclerosis so based on my experience with that my advice/opinion is:

Your mum asking for a DNR is a good thing (my mum had to endure far too long and things probably would have been better if a DNR was put in place earlier).

Also, try and figure out what you want to know about her life and your own life as a child and ask the questions while you can, unfortunately MS effects the memory so by the time I realized I had things I wanted to ask she was unable to answer them and asking the questions upset her because she knew she should know the answers.

The most important thing is that you spend time with her and help her when you can because no matter how much you do for her, when you look back after she has gone, it won't seem like enough.

[R650R]

Mum is home and I have had a good long chat. I gave support and we had a laugh. It turns out she has hid this from the kids for 10 years...
But she knew and put on a brave face, didn't want anyone to worry, other than my Dad, who also knew...
Wow, a bit of a shock there...

And there's a lot more people out there like that. Cancer is epidemic in modern society and increasing exponentially.
Govt never really tells us how bad it is as it would dilute all the other propaganda and there's so much stuff we're exposed to even with the best work practises.

One thing for sure is the prevention is better than anything close to a cure.

Eat proper good food, not processed junk with no vitamins etc.
Get plenty of good vigourus exercise to drive oxygen into your blood, cancers don't like oxygen rich bodies.
If you wouldn't eat it don't expose your skin to it eg cleaning chemicals, petrol etc
Rest properly when you can, its all very well to tough out the long hours but the body says no in the long run.

If your mums being doing ok for this long I rate her chances as good even if it has advanced. Even if it was an early diagnosis being alive anywhere more than 5 years later is good going.

[Mushu]

And there's a lot more people out there like that. Cancer is epidemic in modern society and increasing exponentially.

Cancer isn't getting more common, people are living longer, increasing the risk of cancer because we can cure most of the things that would have killed us before the cancer could. Go back far enough and even the common cold held a reasonable risk of death. We are also far better at diagnosing it now too which I would assume would also increase the amount of cases of cancer.

However someone dies, it's always upsetting to those that love them and watching an illness take someone is painful but death will happen to all of us and everyone each of us knows. The shorter the list is of things that can't be cured the higher the incidence of those illnesses will be.

[Waihou Thumper]

I have just received a call and Mum passed peacefully today.
She fell asleep and never regained consciousness. I would like to offer my thanks to Arohanui Hospice for all of their support to Dad.
I am at a loss, never thought it would happen to me or Mum....
I will not be here anymore, so thanks all. Take care and happy trails.

Mark signing off.....

[Paul in NZ]

Sorry for your loss Mark.. Been there - never easy. Take it easy on yourself, the big hole will eventually heal but life goes on so look after yourself and your family.

[Banditbandit]

My sympathies. Take it easy and look after yourself and whanau.

[Madness]

Condolences Mark, to both you & your family.

[Edbear]

Sorry to hear mate. Condolences and best wishes.

[caseye]

I hope you do buy another bike and to see you back in these forums.
Sad for your loss mate, but now it's time to go be with your dad for a bit and make sure he's on track. You have coped and your mum got what she needed from you and yours until she didn't need it anymore. Live life, you never know when it's your turn.
Meanwhile, take a big breath, get some rest, and remember it's OK to shed a tear or more when remembering your! mum.