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Thread: word perfect help line

  1. #1
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    word perfect help line

    I was going to put this in myjoke thread but it made me laugh so hard I though it deserved it own thread......


    This is a true story from the WordPerfect help line. Needless to say the help desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause". Actual dialogue of a former Word perfect Customer Support employee:

    "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"

    "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

    "What sort of trouble?"

    "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

    "Went away?"

    "They disappeared."

    "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

    "Nothing."

    "Nothing?"

    "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

    "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

    "How do I tell?"

    "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

    "What's a sea-prompt?"

    "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

    "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

    "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

    "What's a monitor?"

    "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

    "I don't know."

    "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

    "Yes, I think so."

    "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

    ".......Yes, it is."

    "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

    "No."

    "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

    ".......Okay, here it is."

    "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

    "I can't reach."

    "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

    "No."

    "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

    "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

    "Dark?"

    "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

    "Well, turn on the office light then."

    "I can't."

    "No? Why not?"

    "Because there's a power outage."

    "A power... A power outage? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing suff your computer came in?"

    "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

    "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

    "Really? Is it that bad?"

    "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

    "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

    "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
    Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even.
    Muhammad Ali

  2. #2
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    Hmmm I know some people like that. Very good joke thou.
    Cat's could say... Psychokiller

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    That story's so old, it's probably back in fashion again.

    And you're probably too young to even remember WordPerfect.

  4. #4
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    your a bit of a killer arent you fish?
    Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even.
    Muhammad Ali

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by texmo
    your a bit of a killer arent you fish?
    That's Miss Fish to you. With a capital 'F'. I like a little respect now and then.

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    you have to earn respect, i dont just give it away like money....
    Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even.
    Muhammad Ali

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by texmo
    you have to earn respect, i dont just give it away like money....
    You give money away?

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    hhaaa.. if ya do texmo... I wouldn't mind a handout.... I'm low this month! =(

    argh.....
    You can't fight sleep.. if you feel tired, stop and rest!

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    OH.. and by the way... Welcome to KB (Miss) Fish


    (tap, tap tap... waiting for the 30 second posting rule to elaspe!)
    You can't fight sleep.. if you feel tired, stop and rest!

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    sure, I give money away all the time why last night I gave around $80 to the bar man at the thirsty dog...
    Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even.
    Muhammad Ali

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by DemonWolf
    (tap, tap tap... waiting for the 30 second posting rule to elaspe!)
    What's that then?

    Thanks for the welcome.

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    ahh so thats why indy wants to win epsom

    hiya Fish, I'm tall dark and handsome* we should go on a date





    *if by tall dark and handsome I mean tall pale and moderately ugly
    I only posted this because of the global economic crisis

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    massive! theres some thick cunts out there alright
    There is no dark side of the moon, really, as a matter of fact. Its all dark...

  14. #14
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    Welcome Fish, you have the same DOB as my sister . . . down to the year. Another April fool?

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by WRT
    Welcome Fish, you have the same DOB as my sister . . . down to the year. Another April fool?
    Thanks mate. Actually I considered putting something else in, because people usually assume I'm taking the p*** with the birthday. But yeah, an hour earlier and I would have been a nice safe March 31st. Lifes funny sometimes.

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