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Thread: So help me decide if will it be Tonga, Vanuatu or New Caledonia (or somewhere else).

  1. #1
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    So help me decide if will it be Tonga, Vanuatu or New Caledonia (or somewhere else).

    Starting to think about our next tropical island jaunt (winter 2016).

    Done Rarotonga twice, Samoa once so looking beyond those shores (although we'd gladly go back to either some time).

    Choices seem to be Tonga, Vanuatu or New Caledonia. (Fiji and Norfolk don't appeal and Nuie is probably not a starter).

    We're not into excitement packed holidays. Strolling down the beach, reading in the shade, keeping hydrated , seeing a few of the sights and having some nice meals at night is about our style.

    Advice anyone?
    Grow older but never grow up

  2. #2
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    Vanuatu, Santo to be more precise.

    New Cal is expensive & French.

    Tonga is... Tonga.

  3. #3
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    I just spent 7 nights in a 5 star resort in Fiji

    (yeah, I see your not interested in Fiji, But fuck me, I'm talking here)

    FUCKING MINT!!!

    We got the meal package, ate like fucking kings all day, lobstar, crab, prawns, coconut infused salmon, roast meats of a variety I couldn't even describe...and fucking BACON

    When I wasn't eating I was laying out by the pool drinking, swimming, drinking, and then back for a meal before some more fat lazy arse drinking while lying down before drinking while swimming.

    Then back for another feed.

    When I die, If I don't wake the fuck up in Fiji surrounded by food, then me and the big cheese are going to have words.

    Pity all the ladies are ugly, and the place is over run with poverty, But I can deal with it. Cunts just need to get a job, Magical cure for everything.

    Hear that Fiji?.....Get a job.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Oakie View Post
    Starting to think about our next tropical island jaunt (winter 2016).

    Done Rarotonga twice, Samoa once so looking beyond those shores (although we'd gladly go back to either some time).

    Choices seem to be Tonga, Vanuatu or New Caledonia. (Fiji and Norfolk don't appeal and Nuie is probably not a starter).

    We're not into excitement packed holidays. Strolling down the beach, reading in the shade, keeping hydrated , seeing a few of the sights and having some nice meals at night is about our style.

    Advice anyone?
    Judging by your previous experience and comments - New Caledonia - Tonga is pretty boring by comparison - Niue very small island. Vanuatu, don't know!

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Headbanger View Post
    I just spent 7 nights in a 5 star resort in Fiji

    (yeah, I see your not interested in Fiji, But fuck me, I'm talking here)

    FUCKING MINT!!!

    We got the meal package, ate like fucking kings all day, lobstar, crab, prawns, coconut infused salmon, roast meats of a variety I couldn't even describe...and fucking BACON

    When I wasn't eating I was laying out by the pool drinking, swimming, drinking, and then back for a meal before some more fat lazy arse drinking while lying down before drinking while swimming.

    Then back for another feed.

    When I die, If I don't wake the fuck up in Fiji surrounded by food, then me and the big cheese are going to have words.

    Pity all the ladies are ugly, and the place is over run with poverty, But I can deal with it. Cunts just need to get a job, Magical cure for everything.

    Hear that Fiji?.....Get a job.
    Sounds like you had fun.
    When we went to Fiji we were not impressed with the mainland and especially Nandi. Matamanoa island was ok but overpriced and didn't have a good swimming beach. Alcohol on the resort was overpriced.


    If you want a good spot. Prague is the place to lax out but wrong time of the year. June would be better.
    I have evolved as a KB member.Now nothing I say should be taken seriously.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by mossy1200 View Post
    Sounds like you had fun.
    When we went to Fiji we were not impressed with the mainland and especially Nandi. Matamanoa island was ok but overpriced and didn't have a good swimming beach. Alcohol on the resort was overpriced.


    If you want a good spot. Prague is the place to lax out but wrong time of the year. June would be better.
    Everything outside of the resort was absolute shit from what I could see, Never seen real poverty before that bus trip.

    The food was wickedly expensive so the food package was very very cool, My kids ate free as part of the deal.

    Fiji Bitter $5au, cocktails for the wife $12au, we had our fill. I also grabbed a couple of bottles of boubon at duty free and knocked em back while at the pool.

    Beach wasn't fantastic as a beach, But snorking in the lagoon with all the coral and tropical fish was a highlight.

  7. #7
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    You can come and stay here for a week, its like a pacific island. we have screaming Bantu's next door, and I can put an umbrella in your beer.

  8. #8
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    Did one of the island cruises and stopped at a bunch of places in Vanuatu. Santo was nice. Hideaway Island in Port Vila had some fantastic snorkelling with the Cascades waterfalls close by. The resort probably costs an arm and a leg, but you can be a day visitor for $10. $10 for a carton of ciggies duty free - not that you can bring them back any more. Noumea just reminded me of Mission Bay for some reason, but only there in the main city for the day so can't really judge all of New Caledonia based on that. On another trip, the reefs around the main island of Tonga (Tongatapu) seemed almost dead a couple of years ago compared to when I was there in 1984 as a youngster, but apparently the northern islands like Vava'u are still good. A reasonable trip from the main island though. Tahiti? We only stayed on the main island but it was still good. The outer islands can only be better.
    What part of for(int i=0xC02;putchar((i&7)+69)&&(i>>=3); ); don't you understand?

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    Had a colleague return from Norfolk Island and said he loved it.
    I didn't think!!! I experimented!!!

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    Just fuck off, will you?
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  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by mashman View Post
    Had a colleague return from Norfolk Island and said he loved it.
    Mostly rocky coastline though. We want soft squishy golden sand. Perhaps Norfolk when we're retired. (Oh hang on ... we won't be able to afford it then).
    Grow older but never grow up

  12. #12
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    New Cal is only partially cheap if you do the "Club Med style" resort way.

    And then it is still pricey. And frogolian.

    Also, do NOT arrive on a private yacht...
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Oakie View Post
    Mostly rocky coastline though. We want soft squishy golden sand. Perhaps Norfolk when we're retired. (Oh hang on ... we won't be able to afford it then).
    How long you going for?
    I didn't think!!! I experimented!!!

  14. #14
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    Vanuatu , lovely place lovely people, not much in nice meals...

    Tonga...., big people, not great on service , hopeless at nice meals...
    Fafa island is very nice and peacefull with great food...
    run by Germans, so everything works and it is clean..

    New caledonia, ....just booked cheap flights,
    will wing it while there, my French is fluent, so that may help..?
    expect good food and bit more to see then garbage strewn around as per some other pacific islands
    Opinions are like arseholes: Everybody has got one, but that doesn't mean you got to air it in public all the time....

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    Why don't you add a poll to the thread and let people vote ...

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