I like to turn up to eat my lunch, put my feet up on the table and just assign work and reading straight from a textbook. Any questions or thought provoking ideas get pounded on the head. None of that. No making connections with the learners in front of you, just wait till the end of the school day like all the inmates and grunt every so often in meetings before and after school. Endure the rounds of having earnest parents come in with their pride and joy and thank god the useless so-called parents of the dropbeats and waste of space morons never will.
Dodge putting your hand up to volunteer for a thankless role of coach/manager of an extra-curricular activity which will just see you trudging onto wet, sodden fields and waiting at A&Es with the child since their useless parental units can't be fecked to see what happened to little Johnnie's broken arm or what-nots.
Screw marking the useless wads of work, just stand at the top of the steps and throw them down. Where they land give 'em a mark. Heavier ones will make it more to the bottom so some idiot kid thinking that working hard should equate to some recognition.
Ignore the tension in classrooms so they build up to a head, girls biatching at one another resulting in emotional meltdowns, let the boys go hammer-and-tongs at one another so they can weed out the weakest and let the strongest survive.
Bugger staying in at interval/lunchtime/after school to console or give sound advice to some poor darl'n student who's feeling a bit poorly with life - give them a bottle of HTFU pills and say "she'll be right"
Forget any collegiality with your peers, stuff sharing any ideas - stuff reading any professional extracts in your own time. Never volunteer or participate actively in any namby-pamby, wishy-washy positive action initiatives. It'll all fail anyway since no-one else gives a feck.
No use giving any feedback/marking/feed forward to the learners. They won't appreciate it, just tell them that it won't make a difference since so many arseholes are out in the "Real World" and you'll only make it with the sweat of your brow and maybe a lucky "who you know" connection.
Encouraging them to shoot for the moon? Gamely pick themselves up from a bad result? Had an emotional event at home? Problems with self-esteem? Ill informed half-baked ideas, why give them advice? They'll find out for themselves since they need to experience it to learn!
Why bother forking out your own money to purchase equipment to do your job or provide the basics since their dole-bludging, so-called "care-givers" are spending it on the cigs, booze and pokies?
Never-mind trying to make lessons interactive, diverse, interesting or informative. It's all there in black and white if the little feckers could be bothered to read (if they can even, that is).
Just enjoy the 12 weeks holidays, look forward to those unscheduled disruptions to the school timetable, cut loose when the seniors are finally sent to the chopping block at the external exams, hope those useless juniors keep minding themselves so you can read the newspaper and make TAB bets during class time.
Yep, what a doddle, everyone should get in their and get some free holiday time at the tax-payers expense, way it's going, any-one will be free to stand in front of the class and get some revenge for the time you were pissed around at school yourself.
Oh yeah, can't wait till every citizen has been conscripted to serve a stint at a school, just so they can hate it even more!
Hmm where did my Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch go to?
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Originally Posted by sidecar bob
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