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Thread: Bloodninja

  1. #1
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    Bloodninja

    found these conversations on the intrweb lastnight after the moto gp races, hope you enjoy them as much as i did



    bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?

    BritneySpears14: Aight.

    bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.

    BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.

    bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.

    BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.

    bloodninja: Me too baby.

    BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.

    bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.

    BritneySpears14: Hey...

    bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.

    BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.

    bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.

    BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.

    bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.

    bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.

    BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.

    bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.

    bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.

    bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.

    bloodninja: Baby?

    -------------------

    bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.

    j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.

    bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.

    j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.

    j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.

    bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.

    j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.

    j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.

    bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.

    j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.

    bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.

    j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.

    bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.

    bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.

    j_gurli3: thats it.

    bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.

    bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

    --------------

    BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?

    eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.

    BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.

    eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.

    BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.

    BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.

    eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.

    BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.

    eminemBNJA: Oh ****

    BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.

    eminemBNJA: Oh ****

    eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something
    Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even.
    Muhammad Ali

  2. #2
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    Mate, I put that up ages ago!!!!!!
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  3. #3
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    blah never show us the like i even searched for it
    Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even.
    Muhammad Ali

  4. #4
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    So did OMGWTFBBQ, formerly known as Bloodninja.

    Sever
    Now and forever
    you're just another lost soul about to be mine again
    see her, you'll never free her
    you must surrender it all
    And give life to me again
    Disturbed - Inside the Fire


  5. #5
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    this one been posted ?

    Girl: Hi

    Boy: hello

    Boy: who is this?

    Girl: just a someone?

    Boy: A someone I know?

    Girl: nope

    Boy: Then why the hell are you bothering me?

    Girl: well sorrrrrry

    Girl: I just wanted to chat with you

    Boy: why?

    Girl: nevermind your an asshole

    Boy: Hey wait a minute

    Girl: yes?

    Boy: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid

    Girl: paranoid?

    Boy: yes

    Girl: of what?

    Girl: me?

    Boy: No. I'm in hiding.

    Girl: LOL

    Boy: Don't f***ing laugh at me!

    Boy: This s**t is serious!

    Girl: What are you hiding from?

    Boy: The cops.

    Girl: gimme a f**king break

    Boy: I'm serious.

    Girl: I don't get it

    Boy: The cops are after me.

    Girl: For what?

    Boy: I'm wanted in three states

    Girl: For???

    Boy: It's kindof embarrasing.

    Boy: I had sex with a turkey.

    Boy: Hello?

    Girl: You are f**king sick.

    Boy: Send me your picture.

    Girl: why?

    Boy: so I know you aren't one of them.

    Girl: One of what?

    Boy: The cops.

    Girl: I'm not a cop i told you

    Boy: Then send me your picture.

    Girl: hold on

    Boy: Hurry up.

    Boy: Are you there?

    Boy: f**k you, cop!

    Girl: Hey sorry

    Girl: I had to do something for my mom.

    Boy: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.

    Boy: When really you were notifying the authorities.

    Boy: Weren't you!?

    Girl: thats not it

    Boy: Then what?

    Girl: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty

    Boy: Most cops aren't

    Girl: IM NOT A f**kING COP YOU DICKHEAD!

    Boy: Then send me the picture.

    Girl: fine. What's your e-mail?

    Boy: Just send it through here.

    Girl: alright *PIC*

    Girl: Did you get it?

    Boy: Hold on. I'm looking.

    Girl: That was me back in may

    Girl: I've lost weight since then.

    Boy: I hope so

    Girl: what?!?

    Girl: that hurt my feelings.

    Boy: Did it?

    Girl: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.

    Boy: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?

    Girl: yes

    Boy: Alright let me find it.

    Girl: kks

    Boy: Okay here it is. *PIC*

    Girl: this isn't you.

    Boy: I'll be damned if it ain't!

    Girl: You don't look like that.

    Boy: How the hell do you know?

    Girl: cause your profile has another picture.

    Boy: The profile pic is a fake.

    Boy: I use it to hide from the cops.

    Girl: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol

    Boy: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....

    Boy: Not to mention all the groceries.

    Girl: Go f**k yourself

    Boy: I was going to until I saw that picture

    Boy: Now my dick won't get hard for a week.

    Girl: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.

    Girl: You've done nothing but slam me.

    Girl: you hurt me.

    Boy: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?

    Girl: I thought you were bulls**tting me!

    Boy: Why would I do that?

    Girl: I can't believe that cops are after you

    Boy: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..

    Girl: FUC YOU!!!

    Boy: You'd break both of his legs.

    Girl: You're a f**king asshole.

    Girl: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight

    Girl: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me

    Boy: Ok. I'm sorry.

    Girl: No you aren't

    Boy: You're right. I'm not.

    Boy: HAARRRRR!

    Girl: I'm done with you

    Boy: Aww. I'm sorry.

    Girl: I'm putting you on ignore

    Boy: Wait a sec

    Boy: We got off on the wrong foot.

    Boy: Wanna start over?

    Girl: No

    Boy: I'll eat your p***y

    Girl: You'll what?

    Boy: You heard me.

    Boy: I said I'd eat your p***y.

    Girl: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture

    Boy: Do I need a hard-on to eat your p***y?

    Girl: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes

    Boy: Well I'm not like most men.

    Boy: I get excited in different ways.

    Girl: Like what?

    Boy: Do you really wanna know?

    Girl: I don't know

    Boy: You have to tell me yes or no.

    Girl: I'm afraid to

    Boy: Why?

    Girl: cause

    Boy: cause why?

    Girl: well lets see

    Girl: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out

    Girl: doesn't that seem strange to you?

    Boy: Nope

    Girl: well its strange to me

    Boy: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to

    Girl: I didn't say that

    Boy: So is that a yes?

    Girl: I guess so.

    Boy: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.

    Boy: Are you willing?

    Girl: What do you need me to do?

    Boy: I need you talk like a pirate.

    Girl: ???

    Boy: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"

    Boy: ok?

    Boy: Hello?

    Girl: You can't be serious

    Boy: Oh yes I am!

    Boy: It's my fantasy.

    Girl: this is retarded

    Boy: Do you want it or not?

    Girl: Yes I want it.

    Boy: Then you'll do it for me?

    Girl: sure

    Boy: Ok. Here we go.

    Boy: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.

    Boy: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them

    Boy: I softly begin to tounge your wet p***y.

    Boy: I run my tounge up and down your smooth slit.

    Girl: mmmm yeah

    Boy: uh oh ...going limp.

    Girl: Har

    Boy: You gotta do better than that!

    Boy: Your picture was really bad.

    Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRR

    Boy: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your p***y get more moist with every stroke.

    Boy: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.

    Boy: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.

    Boy: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.

    Girl: mmmmmm you are good

    Boy: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder

    Boy: going limp

    Girl: HARRRRRRR

    Boy: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.

    Boy: You begin to sway back and forth.

    Boy: going limp

    Girl: this is stupid

    Boy: ...still limp

    Boy: Do it!

    Girl: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR

    Boy: I turn you around to lick your asshole.

    Boy: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.

    Boy: I see s**t nuggets hanging from the hair around your asshole.

    Girl: WTF?!?!?

    Boy: They stink really bad.

    Girl: OMG STOP!!!

    Boy: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass

    Boy: I tear off your wooden peg leg.

    Boy: I ram it up your ass.

    Girl: YOURE A f**kING PYSCHO!!

    Boy: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.

    Boy: And turn you into a f**king candy apple...

    Boy: I kick you in the face!

    Girl: f**k YOU ASSHOLE!!

    Boy: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...

    Boy: Your parrot flys away.

    Boy: ...going limp again.

    Boy: Hello?

    Boy: Say it!

    Boy: HAARRRRRR!!!!!
    Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even.
    Muhammad Ali

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waylander
    So did OMGWTFBBQ, formerly known as Bloodninja.
    Yeah west coawst.

    Oh well... KB has degenerated into a pit of awful reposted jokes and flames.
    Quote Originally Posted by skidMark View Post
    if you have a face afterwards well... that depends how you act...

  7. #7
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    Yep... and bash.org too....

  8. #8
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    Yep, Texmo, I put that up too.
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sniper
    Yep, Texmo, I put that up too.
    Blah how many did you put up theres is about 80 on the site and I chose two random ones
    Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even.
    Muhammad Ali

  10. #10
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    We may not have the same site, but I put about 5 up. It was a while ago, but its good to read them again.
    To every man upon this earth
    Death cometh sooner or late
    And how can a man die better
    Than facing fearful odds
    For the ashes of his fathers
    And the temples of his Gods

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