Because we are men

**Sniper** · 23rd September 2005, 11:04

If we put a women on a pedestal and try to protect her from the Rat Race, we are a male chauvinist pig. If we stay at home and do the housework, we are a pansy. If we work too hard, there is never anytime for her and the kids. If we don't work hard enough, we are a good for nothing layabout. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, that is exploitation. If we have a boring repetitive job with low pay, we should get off our arse and find something better. If a man gets a promotion ahead of her, that is favouritism. If she gets a promotion in front of a man, that’s equal opportunity.

If we mention how nice she looks, that is sexual harassment. If we keep quiet, that is typical male indifference. If we cry, we are a sheila. If we don't, we are an insensitive bastard. If a man thumps her, that’s wife bashing. If she hits him, its self defence.

If he makes a decision without consulting her, he's a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without regards for his feelings, then she's a liberated women. If he asks her to do something she doesn't enjoy, its domination. If she asks him, it's a favour.

If we appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, we are sexual perverts. If we don't notice, we are poofters. If we like a women to keep in shape and shave her legs, that is sexist. If we don't care, it's unromantic. If we try to keep ourselves in shape, that’s vanity. If we don't, we are slobs.

If we buy her flowers, we are after something. If we don't, we are forgetful. If we are proud of our achievements, we are up ourselves. If we aren't, we are not ambitious. If we ask for a cuddle, we never think of anything but sex. If we are totally wrecked after a long and bad day at the office, we don't give a stuff about other peoples needs.

If she has a headache, it's because she is tired. If he has a headache, it's because he doesn't love her anymore. If we want sex too often, we're over sexed. If we can't perform on cue, there must be someone else.

Don't worries boys, living with women can be a joyful road in itself, full of wonderful surprises and gifts. It can also be a nightmare, but what counts is that you work together in it. But true to form, it's in every blokes blood to say to your mate, "Hell, looks like you are having a rough day. Fancy a drink at the pub?"

And that’s my philosophy that I would like to share with all the guys (and some girls too)

**jrandom** · 23rd September 2005, 11:08

did you write that yourself, or copy it from somewhere else?

its awfully defeatist and depressing and really quite untrue. which wouldnt matter if it was funny, but its not.

**Sniper** · 23rd September 2005, 11:09

Got the idea from something I read, otherwise did it myself. Its not meant to be funny or depressing, but take it as you like

**Big Dave** · 23rd September 2005, 11:10

I prefer george carlins

Most men own 3 pair of shoes - 4, tops.
HOW THE HELL DO WE KNOW WHAT SHOES GO BEST WITH THAT DRESS!?!?!

**bugjuice** · 23rd September 2005, 11:10

and welcome to the minefield of man vs woman
sometimes loneliness is a gift. Other times, it just gets you hairy palms..

but think of it this way - if man and woman agreed to everything, and everything is equal in it's entity, life would be so damn boring.. and the need to ride bikes that bit better just wouldn't be there..

**MisterD** · 23rd September 2005, 11:15

Food for thought dude, food for thought.

**bugjuice** · 23rd September 2005, 11:16

Originally Posted by MisterD

Food for thought dude, food for thought.

then I'm full, and don't want seconds. I'll skip dessert too. I'll take it in a doggy bag for later

**MisterD** · 23rd September 2005, 11:23

Just a waffer theen meent?

**jrandom** · 23rd September 2005, 11:25

Originally Posted by MisterD

Just a waffer theen meent?

mixed up in a bucket with the eggs on top.

**bugjuice** · 23rd September 2005, 11:27

Originally Posted by MisterD

Just a waffer theen meent?

an After8? maybe.. just to freshen up..

**kerryg** · 23rd September 2005, 11:37

Been caught by that: NEVER offer an opinion if a woman asks you if her new hairstyle/dress/ whatever is nice. It 's like that "have you stopped beating your wife" question, you're buggered any way you anwer it. "Yes, it looks great". "But do you REALLY think so?" "Yes, I do". "Well, you don't look very convincing". " Well, sorry, but that's what I think. Would you prefer if I said I didn't like it?" "Well, actually, yes, if that's how you feel". " Well, OK, some other styles I've seen you wear have suited you better, I reckon...". " So...WHAT'S WRONG WITH IT???" and so it goes on and on and on. My advice is say something like " I know nothing about fashion, ask me about motorbikes, OK, but not about fashion. YOU know MUCH BETTER than me about fashion, I am a complete philistine. You trust your judgement, darling. Whatever you wear looks great to me !!!"

Chances are you won't get away with it though. " But you must have an opinion....."