Memo To: All Al Qaeda Fighters
From: Bin Laden, Osama
Subject: The Cave
Hi guys,
We've all been putting in long hours recently and we've really come together as a group and I love that! However, while we are fighting a Jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave, and frankly I have a few concerns:
First of all, while its good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the dust in our cave. We want to avoid excessive dust inhalation (a Health and Safety issue) - so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've done my bit on the cleaning roster, have you? I've posted a sign-up sheet near the cave reception area (next to the Halaal toaster.)
Second: Its not often I make a video address, but when I do I'm trying to scare the **** out of most of the World's population, okay? This means that while we're taping, please do not ride your scooter in the background or keep doing the Wassup thing. Thanks.
Third: Food. I bought a box of Dairylea recently, I clearly marked it "Ossy" on the front and put it on the top shelf. Today, two of my Dairylea slices were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.
Fourth: I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must distance ourselves from the infidels bat and ball game. Please do not chant "Ossy Ossy Ossy, Oi Oi Oi" when I ride past on my donkey. Thanks.
Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammed, Abdul, Akbar, and Dave.
Love you lots,
group hug.
Os.
P.s. - I'm sick of having Osamas Bed Linen scribbled on my laundry bag. Cut it out, it's not funny anymore.
Reply With Quote
Nice one
Bookmarks