Abusing the elderly

**awa355** · 13th June 2015, 08:26

Ahead of abusing animals and up there with abusing children, I think the treatment of elderly family members is one of the saddest indictments of how selfish and low many people in society have sunk to, and it happens at all levels of society. I have seen this behaviour in my own family.

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/opinion/ne...ectid=11464389

It is tragic that so many see their elderly parents as an inconvenience to their own lifestyles. I dread the time when I am no longer able to stand up to others and decide my life choices for myself.

**frogfeaturesFZR** · 13th June 2015, 09:02

Depends on your kids, I suppose. I work at WINZ ( National Super) and the amount of Superannuitants who, without income other than the pension, struggle to live is scary.
Especially in Akld. Their house might be freehold, worth a million, but they can't afford the rates, insurances etc. easy to say, sell and move downcountry, but at 70 years plus it's a huge step.
The faster pace of life ( in the cities) and the need to make as much money as possible, means time for family is lost. Sad indictment on modern society.
Kids delegate care of their parents to a retirement village.

**Ocean1** · 13th June 2015, 09:54

Originally Posted by frogfeaturesFZR

Depends on your kids, I suppose. I work at WINZ ( National Super) and the amount of Superannuitants who, without income other than the pension, struggle to live is scary.
Especially in Akld. Their house might be freehold, worth a million, but they can't afford the rates, insurances etc. easy to say, sell and move downcountry, but at 70 years plus it's a huge step.
The faster pace of life ( in the cities) and the need to make as much money as possible, means time for family is lost. Sad indictment on modern society.
Kids delegate care of their parents to a retirement village.

Aye. Like many I worry about how some, (most?) will manage in a few years time, when the boomers finally retire. Even if the current govt's promise not to fuck with national super there's just no way the pension isn't going to be substantially less than it is now, the economy simply can't afford it. If that's right then we're about to see an epidemic of pensioners in trouble.

Nor do I like the current trend of retirement village businesses charging the old dears pretty much the market price of their existing houses for a one bedroom villa, and then mugging them by way of service charges and compulsory maintenance costs. On the other hand the less parasitic retirement villages do provide a damned good option for those who would otherwise have to be in a traditional rest home / care hospital.

**Akzle** · 13th June 2015, 10:00

white guys, huh.

Yay society and money and shit! Its good!

**swarfie** · 13th June 2015, 11:02

Originally Posted by frogfeaturesFZR

Depends on your kids, I suppose. I work at WINZ ( National Super) and the amount of Superannuitants who, without income other than the pension, struggle to live is scary.
Especially in Akld. Their house might be freehold, worth a million, but they can't afford the rates, insurances etc. easy to say, sell and move downcountry, but at 70 years plus it's a huge step.
The faster pace of life ( in the cities) and the need to make as much money as possible, means time for family is lost. Sad indictment on modern society.
Kids delegate care of their parents to a retirement village.

About 10 years ago (Dad had been retired for 13 years at the time) my Mum says to me "we're having to delve into Dads retirement funds to pay some bills, there's not gunna be much left for you kids when we go".....sorry but I abused her by saying "Mum, I don't give a rats bum if there's a bill left for us when you go...its your money, spend the bloody stuff!". They're still going, yes its tough but like me they got stuck in and are freehold and a shit load of minor assets to sell if and when they do need it. If and when that runs out there will be a loving family to support them.....just like they did for us. FFS what is wrong with people that they've got to bleed their parents dry? That shit makes me

**frogfeaturesFZR** · 13th June 2015, 11:15

Originally Posted by swarfie

About 10 years ago (Dad had been retired for 13 years at the time) my Mum says to me "we're having to delve into Dads retirement funds to pay some bills, there's not gunna be much left for you kids when we go".....sorry but I abused her by saying "Mum, I don't give a rats bum if there's a bill left for us when you go...its your money, spend the bloody stuff!". They're still going, yes its tough but like me they got stuck in and are freehold and a shit load of minor assets to sell if and when they do need it. If and when that runs out there will be a loving family to support them.....just like they did for us. FFS what is wrong with people that they've got to bleed their parents dry? That shit makes me

Respect !
That's the way it should be

Treat others as you'd like to be treated when the time comes...

**Tazz** · 13th June 2015, 11:31

Money, whether it's having it, wanting it or needing it changes people. Seen it in my family. Step sibling demanded half of his fathers business, because it was his 'entitlement'

He not so politely got told to get fucked, but I'm still surprised that there are people out there that actually think like that.

You can bet that if we ever need to care for, or pay for care, that person will be the last to front up with any form of help.

Originally Posted by swarfie

About 10 years ago (Dad had been retired for 13 years at the time) my Mum says to me "we're having to delve into Dads retirement funds to pay some bills, there's not gunna be much left for you kids when we go".....sorry but I abused her by saying "Mum, I don't give a rats bum if there's a bill left for us when you go...its your money, spend the bloody stuff!". They're still going, yes its tough but like me they got stuck in and are freehold and a shit load of minor assets to sell if and when they do need it. If and when that runs out there will be a loving family to support them.....just like they did for us. FFS what is wrong with people that they've got to bleed their parents dry? That shit makes me

I had a similar chat with my dad last year with the same advice. His money. Any money received in the end is no substitute for him being alive anyway, and that being said he's been fawking generous to us anyway.

**JimO** · 13th June 2015, 12:11

im abusing my 91 year old mother in law at the moment, i provide a house for her rent free and last week i put a 3k heatpump in, im a bastard

**ellipsis** · 13th June 2015, 12:14

...last time a young cunt called me 'an old cunt', I construed that as abuse and smacked the prick on the nose...

**awa355** · 13th June 2015, 12:53

Originally Posted by ellipsis

...last time a young cunt called me 'an old cunt', I construed that as abuse and smacked the prick on the nose...

I get called 'an old cunt' at work a lot. I just remind the buggars that growing old is a life skill they haven't learnt yet.

Throughout life I have seen many old people that were hard strong characters in their working lives that simply folded as they got older. One lady said to me once 'I don't know why I'm still alive. I am not wanted by anyone'.

**Moi** · 13th June 2015, 13:22

If you still have parents or grandparents alive - LOVE THEM! - in the widest possible sense of the word love...

I've just retired and both of my parents had died before I was in my late twenties... when my father died a colleague said she had no idea what it was like for me because she still had both parents, all four grandparents and at least one great grandparent alive, but she did say she realised just how important it was to love them.

Unfortunately, too many today act on "their entitlement" in all aspects of their life... 'it's my right!' - you see it everywhere...

The next generation will get a share of whatever is left after I've gone... and if they are lucky there won't be too many bills for them to pay...

**James Deuce** · 13th June 2015, 13:33

Originally Posted by frogfeaturesFZR

Especially in Akld. Their house might be freehold, worth a million, but they can't afford the rates, insurances etc. easy to say, sell and move downcountry, but at 70 years plus it's a huge step.

My folks sold up years ago and moved down country. Best thing they ever did. They're out of the rat race and now Dad's gone, Mum, who doesn't drive, can still walk to the local shops and so on. Despite being in her early 70s she works, doing carer support for those less fit and able in the local community. None of that is really an option in Auckland.

**BMWST?** · 13th June 2015, 13:46

Originally Posted by JimO

im abusing my 91 year old mother in law at the moment, i provide a house for her rent free and last week i put a 3k heatpump in, im a bastard

good for you !My mum is 92 and has just has a fall and broken her hip.She was rpretty independent before but this has set her back heaps.!

**Blackbird** · 13th June 2015, 13:53

I'll be 70 in a couple of years but was fortunate to retire at 60. My wife and I did all the sensible thinking before retirement..... buy a single storey home on a flat bit of land close to a city for access to major shops, shows, public transport, medical care etc. So what did we do? Moved to a 2 storey home with a steeply sloping section on the edge of Coromandel Harbour, 50 km from the nearest hospital and 2 hours from Auckland, Tauranga and Hamilton. Know what? We've absolutely loved it and so pleased we didn't take the "sensible option"! We see the kids and grandkids on a regular basis but are just too far to be used as a convenient babysitting service

.

It's a hoot getting home from somewhere to find a message on the phone from one of the kids saying "Where are you?" .... like we have to account for our movements to them

You're a long time dead so we're committed to having as much fun as possible while we can before the bodies really pack up.

**HenryDorsetCase** · 13th June 2015, 14:17

Originally Posted by Tazz

Money, whether it's having it, wanting it or needing it changes people. Seen it in my family. Step sibling demanded half of his fathers business, because it was his 'entitlement'

He not so politely got told to get fucked, but I'm still surprised that there are people out there that actually think like that.

You can bet that if we ever need to care for, or pay for care, that person will be the last to front up with any form of help.

I had a similar chat with my dad last year with the same advice. His money. Any money received in the end is no substitute for him being alive anyway, and that being said he's been fawking generous to us anyway.

Yes. I dont see a lot of it but that sort of planning is part of the work we do.

Fascinating. People are awesome. People are bastards.