Dreaming of a daughter

[F5 Dave]

When I was a teenager I had a dream. There was this little girl. Blonde hair, white dress. It was at my old primary school. She fell over in a puddle and started crying. I comforted her. I told others of this dream. She would be my daughter.

I married a little later after some false starts, but I was never worried. I guess I knew that I would some day meet this girl.

She's 4 &1/2 now. Likes dresses and is blonde and cute as a button. She is the daughter I dreamed of 30 years ago. But in my dream she wasn't autistic.

So what is life? How is it your dreams can be so clear and yet so uncertain?

Now with two kids on the spectrum life is not just different from as I expected but unknown from any frame of reference. Parents worry about their kids, but what about when they just don't understand this world?

[Laava]

People I know had a daughter a bit late in life and she was born Down Syndrome. They were pretty upset to start with and got over themselves. She is no less a daughter to them and in fact, because of, still lives at home and is their little ray of sunshine, always smiling and loving. They consider themselves very lucky!

[F5 Dave]

Of course, through this journey we've met a lovely little girl with downs, in fact my daughter is wearing some of her dresses which she loves so much.

It's the future that is uncertain.

[Akzle]

the fucks to understand? You're a blip in the fucken timeline.

Every day above ground is a good one. Be fucken grateful for what you fucken get.

[Laava]

the fucks to understand? You're a blip in the fucken timeline.

Every day above ground is a good one. Be fucken grateful for what you fucken get.

Very eloquent as usual from ms insignificance personified.

[F5 Dave]

the fucks to understand? You're a blip in the fucken timeline.

Every day above ground is a good one. Be fucken grateful for what you fucken get.

You spelt `you`re` correctly so I'm deeply impressed. Sold that bike yet? Ride one in the last 5 Years?

[Moi]

Your two will, like all kids, bring great joy to you and worry... may the joy outweigh the worry.


For what it's worth - after 40 years in teaching I have decided that we all sit somewhere on the autistic spectrum. It's just that if you're in the big group you are not noticed, we only notice those beyond... and some of those have been those really neat kids who one day gave me great joy and the next had me tearing my hair out as I struggled to explain the world to them, so it wasn't such a scary place...

[Motu]

Yeah, I don't think any of us are right in the head - there are people who give the impression they got it all sorted, and make us feel like we'll never get anything right...but they are the ones to be sorry for.

[Daffyd]

We've just flown one of my stepdaughters up here, (Northermost island, Luzon,) from down south with her two wee kids; two+ y/o daughter and 14m/o boy. Gorgeous kids, as only Filipino kids can be. The wee boy has a cleft lip and is awaiting an operation to correct it. This, apparently, is quite common in the Philippines and I was wondering how I would cope with the poor little bugger. Turns out he's just the sweetest little boy you could ever see, and I'm sure that in a week or two I won't even see the lip. He could have had the op by now, but the miserable grandmother wouldn't give any help to his mother, (like looking after the wee girl so his mother stays with him). The op is free there, but we will prolly have to pay something here; possibly a donation.

[TheDemonLord]

I have to say - I have never liked children/Babies throughout my life.

Till I got my Daughter - who isn't too bad.

Everyone else's children/babies still irritate me - but my Daughter is awesome.

[Maha]

It's the future that is uncertain.

An uncertain future is a certainty for everyone, you may think you have your life sorted until the very end, then something happens (good or not so) that changes it all.

My first born was born with a condition called Hirschsprung's disease, it's a disorder of the abdomen that occurs when part or all of the large intestine have no ganglion cells and therefore cannot function. It took a week for the Doctors to figure it out (this was 26 years ago) and we almost lost her, had that bowel ruptured, that would have been it. We were advised to christen her in the hospital chapel. The Surgeon said we got her there just in time, with the effected part of the bowel removed, she was given a colostomy until she was old enough (18 months) to handle the surgery required.
Still having a few problems arbitrated to Hirschsprung's 26 years on. More surgery is happening this year.

That whole event changed it all for me at the time, just having a baby changes everything.

[awa355]

I have an autistic grandson. I look at the wooden trucks I made that he never understood could be played with, I look at the children's books I had dreamed of reading to him that he could never sit to listen to.

Now ten, He is so much more affectionate but still only interested in interacting with others when it suits him. He lives in his own world at times. School is hard for him. At times I wish he would never grow older, the adult world for a young man with his social skills is going to be a cruel hard one. People tolerate kids with different problems much more than as adults. He has a younger sister with whom he really bonds. They are inseperable. I hope she will always be there for him.

[Ocean1]

but what about when they just don't understand this world?

Who does?

And if there's parts of the world that don't go at least half way in accommodating a different frame of reference then there's plenty of parts that do.

Just love them, dude. It's enough.

[caseye]

Who does?

And if there's parts of the world that don't go at least half way in accommodating a different frame of reference then there's plenty of parts that do.

Just love them, dude. It's enough.

Ocean got it right on the head. "Just love them"
The rest takes care of itself.

[Hobbyhorse]

Who does?

And if there's parts of the world that don't go at least half way in accommodating a different frame of reference then there's plenty of parts that do.

Just love them, dude. It's enough.

Nicely said Ocean1 .... thanks.