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Thread: Long live THE QUEEN

  1. #1
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    Long live THE QUEEN

    So the Queen of England is now the longest serving ever in Britain.

    Regardless of your opinion of the Royal Family (go on you'd tap Kate .....) that is truly impressive.

    So well done old girl. And she is still looking good (go on you'd ........)

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    Long lived, the Queen.. ( sure, she was a genuine hottie, in her day, just think of her groaning an orgasm out - in that plummy accent).

    Bet she loved it Greek style, "Ohhh daahhling, yes, yes, yes, you know.. me soo ooh well.. right there!"
    Well she did marry one.. & he was a former Pommy 'public' schoolboy.. & Royal Navy sailor.. Bottoms Up!

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    http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Queen_Elizabeth_II

    Achievements


    According to Reuters, the Queen has 10 times the lifespan of workers and lays up to 2,000 eggs a day.
    The Queen likes all people!-(Except for Diana, Princess of Wales, and Dodi Al-Fayed!)
    Starred in movie "The Queen" as Ross Kemp.
    She has the high score on Halo 3
    Can believe it's not butter.
    Owns all the swans, motherfucker.
    Is currently taking lessons from Rocky Balboa in how to be a good Auto-Bot
    Yesterday she shot down a German plane. Lufthansa are pissed.
    During WWII she took an active role in many operations. She flew against Spitfires in the Battle of Britannia Superior (against a combined force of Picts and Angles), achieving over 25 kills and became known as the Winged Witch of Windsor by her spawn, she stopped after her favourite hat got damaged during a dogfight. After that she drove tanks in North Africa, as part of Erwin Rommel's Afrika Korps, but again had to stop due to another one of her splendid hats getting in the way of the other crew members. She ended the war fixing lorries and siphoning off the petrol to sell on the Black Market. Luckily no hats were damaged this time.
    Last week she got stuck in a child's playhouse
    She holds the world record for the most time spent sitting
    Can tolerate Cliff Richard
    She also holds the world record for spitting winkles!
    She has a daughter named Gabby Parker
    In WW2, achieved the rank of Junior Commander in the Women's Auxiliary, surpassed in the Royal family only by Princess Michael of Kent, who became an Oberleutnantin in the Waffen SS
    She is the Mistress of England in US of K (USK) (really UKS)
    Can wave the fuck out of you
    Drunk a pint of brown ale in under 7 seconds
    She is the first ever person to live to the age of 489 years
    God saves her
    Loves pole dancing
    Is Queen
    She is the only person ever that's known not to break wind
    Is a republican
    Loves turtles and salt
    Discovered the vulnerable part of the death star
    Longest running Page 3 girl
    Miss Great Britain 1904
    Miss Great Britain 1935 - stolen a year later by Hitler, ze Schwein!
    Gloucester Cheese Race Winner: 1893, 1970, 1994. Runner Up: Every year (except 1893, 1970, 1994)
    Miss Great Grand Britain 2009
    Oscar for her performance in the film the Queen
    Most loved Briton ever
    Person who appears on the most pictures
    Probably the most powerful woman in the world
    World's greatest land owner
    Richest person in the world to live in free accommodation provided by the government
    The person receiving the most state benefits
    Most attractive person to ever appear on a spoon or mug
    Least attractive mug ever to have had her mug on a spoon
    The person who appears on the most currency (Irish-Australians kiss the back of it)
    3rd place in the Buckingham Palace annual fancy dress party as a hula-girl



    Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken

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    She should live to a ripe old age, Probably never had to sit for 6 hours at the local A&E dept nursing a broken arm. Or been left with two tins of baked beans and a half loaf of bread two days out from the next payday.
    " Rule books are for the Guidance of the Wise, and the Obedience of Fools"

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    Quote Originally Posted by AllanB View Post
    go on you'd tap Kate .....
    no, no I would not...
    But anyways Freddie's been dead awhile tho I agree long live their music
    Science Is But An Organized System Of Ignorance
    "Pornography: The thing with billions of views that nobody watches" - WhiteManBehindADesk

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    Quote Originally Posted by AllanB View Post
    So the Queen of England is now the longest serving ever in Britain.

    Regardless of your opinion of the Royal Family (go on you'd tap Kate .....) that is truly impressive.

    So well done old girl. And she is still looking good (go on you'd ........)
    the fuck it isn't you cracker ass cunt.

    a) jews have pwned your ass longer than dear lizzy

    b) who gives half a shit? is she any more than a figurehead, to ANYONE, anywhere?

    c) cracker ass cunt.

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    "serving"

    fucking lol.

    yeah, nah,
    i feel served as by liz, personally, like.

    and her, ahem, "crown agents" and all.



    every cracker should hang themselves. right now.

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    Quote Originally Posted by husaberg View Post
    Achievements...
    That all sounds like it came out of Yokel's "Big Book of Facts"...
    TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

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    Quote Originally Posted by Swoop View Post
    That all sounds like it came out of Yokel's "Big Book of Facts"...
    It was The unencylopedia

    Yokels has the uncleintopaedophilia



    Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken

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    Quote Originally Posted by Akzle View Post
    the fuck it isn't you cracker ass cunt.

    a) jews have pwned your ass longer than dear lizzy

    b) who gives half a shit? is she any more than a figurehead, to ANYONE, anywhere?

    c) cracker ass cunt.


    Yeah but you have not denied you'd like to tap her and her inlaw!

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    Quote Originally Posted by AllanB View Post
    Yeah but you have not denied you'd like to tap her and her inlaw!
    Inlaw Harry? Butthole or mouth?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Axhole View Post
    the fuck it isn't you cracker ass cunt.

    a) jews have pwned your ass longer than dear lizzy

    b) who gives half a shit? is she any more than a figurehead, to ANYONE, anywhere?

    c) cracker ass cunt.
    Quote Originally Posted by AllanB View Post
    Yeah but you have not denied you'd like to tap her and her inlaw!
    Quote Originally Posted by jasonu View Post
    Inlaw Harry? Butthole or mouth?
    More likely a pet or animal on a hunting estate



    Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken

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    Quote Originally Posted by husaberg View Post
    Here's Maori King's achievements

    Quote Originally Posted by Wikipedia
    He speaks publicly only once a year, at the annual celebrations in Ngaruawahia of his coronation.


    Since ascending to the throne official duties include:

    attending the funeral of King Taufa'ahau Tupou IV of Tonga, September 2006
    attending the opening of Pūkawa Marae on the shore of Lake Taupo, Aotearoa, on 17–19 November 2006.
    attending the opening of "Mauri Ora" an exhibition of Māori artefacts from Te Papa on exhibition at the Tokyo National Museum in Tokyo, Japan on 22 January 2007.[9][10]
    attending the funeral of Malietoa Tanumafili II of Samoa, 19 May 2007
    attending the re-opening of the marae/war memorial hall in Ngaiotonga, Whangaruru 2007
    attending the opening of the Māori garden in Hamilton gardens, 2008.

    Attempt to steal Auckland, 2015


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    Quote Originally Posted by EJK View Post
    Here's Maori King's achievements
    You missed.
    Overseen the running of the Waikato river to make sure it ran downstream.
    Ate 5 of these in a single siting 2014



    Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken

  15. #15
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    England Princes




    Maori Prince



    If you can make it on Kiwibiker you can make it anywhere.

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