What would you do?

[Ms Piggy]

If you found out someone you had previously dated was married when they were seeing you? (The signs pointed to it but he denied it when confronted and it didn't last that long anyway)

I have been told the name of his wife and I know he is listed in the phone book...I wouldn't do anything psycho like going round to the house but, the thought has crossed my mind that I should write a letter to his wife.

Hmmmmmmm...what to do, what to do.....

[jrandom]

If you found out someone you had previously dated was married when they were seeing you? (The signs pointed to it but he denied it when confronted and it didn't last that long anyway)

why do you feel the need to do anything?

why not just get on with something useful?

so the guy's a lowlife. Somebody Else's Problem (tm).

not yours.

[Skyryder]

Let's see if I have got this right. You have dated someone who was married and even though you suspected at the time you now believe that you should write to the wife and infom her of this. If that's the correct interpertation of your post why would you want to inform the wife? Unless there is a bit more to this than meets the eye. Some kind of revenge..........of some sort/ If not then do you think that the wife is going to thank you for this act of kindness on your part. Whatever you had with this guy it's over. Walk away'


Skyryder

[crashe]

If he has done it once, he will do it again and again...
These guys that play around, will always do it.

Its the wife that you have to feel for...
She either doesn't know that her hubby likes to play around or she does.

Are there any kids in his marriage?

If you do bust him, then you need to have the proof, as she may not believe you. You need to handle it carefully if you do bust him.
Does he have a mark on his body that only you and his wife would know about... as that can be good proof.

The wife would be better off without him...

You have had a lucky escape.... from this chap.

But in the end the decision is only yours to make...
Weigh up the pro's and cons.....
We can't make the decision for you...

[TonyB]

Maybe him and his wife were on a break.....(TM Freinds)

[jimbo600]

I'm with Fish on this one. Move on. The guys a twat his loss and someday he'll get caught out.

[kiwisfly]

I'm with Fish, move on although if you felt like getting back & playing with his head then threaten to spill the beans. Only if it makes you feel better otherwise walk away & chalk it up to another life experience on the journey.

[Ms Piggy]

This isn't about revenge folks and those of you who know me will know that.

It's about informing his wife of what he is doing, if it was me in her situation I'd like to know.

Thanks for your input so far though.

p.s I didn't suspect he was married until we had been dating a little bit and (as I said) I hit him up about it and he said "no" and at the time it seemed reasonable to believe he was telling the truth.

[thehollowmen]

This isn't about revenge folks and those of you who know me will know that.

p.s I didn't suspect he was married until we had been dating a little bit and (as I said) I hit him up about it and he said "no" and at the time it seemed reasonable to believe he was telling the truth.

My wife knows I'm a terrible flirt.
She's fine with that.

Relationships should all be about honesty.

If it isn't about revenge don't bother. His wife probably has a very good idea of what's going on. Why she's still there when he's a lying bastard (to either you or her)... well that's another barrel of worms.

[TonyB]

CSL I think most of us know you well enough to know its not a revenge thing. You're looking after the wifes interests, and thats an honourable thing to do. She may genuinely have no idea. Question is, do you want to be the one to turn her world upside down?

[strayjuliet]

That's a tricky 1 CSL, if I was in the wife's shoes yes I would want to know, but that being said I'm not sure I could handle being told that my husband was cheating on me. Then again I think I would be clever enough to notice the signs. (or at least I hope I would be) Unless she is a total dweeb then surely she would suspect something. But then again, there are some sick puppies out there.

[zadok]

I'm with fish & SR on this one as well. It may have been a one off (probably not), but it will come back and bite him one day if he is still doing it. You are an innocent party. Think of the problems it may cause you if you tell the wife. She might not see you as a concerned citizen.

[nadroj]

Maybe he's not getting it at home. As we all know "It's too high off the ground to eat grass". Just chalk it up to experience (you must have learnt something), and get on with it.

[Coyote]

Blackmail j/k

[Beemer]

Forget him, what goes around, comes around, so it's likely he will be found out sooner rather than later.

The thing that amazes me here is that Fish missed her chance to have another dig at you and instead came up with something verging on sensible! After her comment about you not riding a "girl's bike" and her questioning of your sexuality, I was waiting for "so you're not a dyke" or "did you become a dyke after this guy jerked you around?" Very disappointing, Fish!