A mightily important poll

[jrandom]

Righto, folks, after someone recently commented to me on some research that was done regarding this question I find myself compelled to put it to the Gentle Readers.

Respond away, and feel free to start a heated debate on the merits of the options presented. If you can come up with any options I missed, then, well, you're a sick puppy.

[wkid_one]

What if you have a Bidet?

[jrandom]

What if you have a Bidet?

Poll enlightenment will come only when you realise the truth.

There *is* no bidet.

[tuscan]

I didn't even know scrunch was an option...

[scumdog]

You can't scrunch when using bush-lawyer leaves as you might get one of the spikey bits you-know-where, pays to fold carefully.

[Cynic]

You can't scrunch when using bush-lawyer leaves as you might get one of the spikey bits you-know-where, pays to fold carefully.

Is sanitation technology a wee bit behind the times down south is it ?

[Hitcher]

Poll enlightenment will come only when you realise the truth.

There *is* no bidet.

You still da man!

[Ms Piggy]

Definitely a scruncher!

[Skyryder]

Going by the quality of Bog paper these days it's all a matter of luck.

Reminds me of an answer I saw on a forum not so long ago ago. Seems this female wanted to reduce her grocerey bill and wanted some advice. Someone suggested that she go flat with some guys.

And since I have bought this thread down into the pits might as well go the whole hog (apol. to the HD riders here), what do the females do?

Skyryder

[k14]

Yeah, another interesting one i heard is that some people stand up to wipe. Never heard of that before. Maybe another poll could be put up. I've always sat down to wipe. It was quite funny actually. The people that always stand up to wipe have never heard/though of sitting down and vice versa.

Ive always folded.

[Al]

I must be strange (oh yeah!), scrunch AND stand for me....

[Posh Tourer :P]

Definitely a scrunch and stand man.... You just cant get in there with a good fistfull of paper while sitting...

You can't scrunch when using bush-lawyer leaves as you might get one of the spikey bits you-know-where, pays to fold carefully.

What the hell are you using bush-lawyer leaves for?? Thats just plain sadistic!!! Can't you southerners grow rangiora?

[Hitcher]

Yeah, another interesting one i heard is that some people stand up to wipe.

And then there are those sitters who lift one cheek and wipe from the side, as opposed to those who attack from the front... (not that I have made a detailed study of said)

[wkid_one]

You are kidding that you stand to wipe yeah?

Maybe Toilet Paper should come with directions (like Tampons) - would it read like this:

1. Stand and face the toilet
2. Remove 4-5 sections of bog roll
3. Place one leg on cistern
4. Scrunch or Fold paper to suit
5. Wipe Arse
6. Dispose of Paper in toilet
7. Repeat steps 2 through 6 until sphincter is suitable clean

[Hitcher]

Repeat steps 2 through 6 until sphincter is suitable clean[/list]

"Sphincter and hinterland" hopefully?