Advice please.

[myvice]

A good friend of mine, as in best mate, best man at my wedding, drops in at least 3 times a week for coffee and is always welcome weather I'm home or not, type of best mate.
I occasionally get flashes of things, nothing special, Jax and Daryll both get them as well.
You know some mornings when you wake up and think "I'd better take the car/bus/train in or leave late/early or take the long way in to work"
One of those "Something’s not right" flashes...
Anyway... This mate (not me, if it was me I'd say so) has a new job, Its Tuesday night and I’ve just got off the phone with him, after a 36 hour day!
He is quite happy to do the hours, as he says he needs the money.
But if he keeps it up, and he will, I'll be burying him within the next year.
I have lost enough friends through bikes, cars, cancer and the other nastys out to end our days, I don’t want to go to any funerals where I might have been able to change the course of events.
We had a 3-year stretch where we lost about half our friends and family and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
But what do I do?
I'm going to see his wife tomorrow after work, he won’t be there as he has another 5am till Thursday late "day" ahead of him.
I'm fucking worried about him and just want him to cut back on the work for a bit and see his wife and kids (3 of).
I know what its like as I have done the 60-80 hour week thing, and when your in it, it seems Ok.
But there are other factors that have me concerned for his health.
I'm very fucking worried.
Any one been in a similar situation?
Or any advice at all would be appreciated.
Squse the grammar/spelling, very tired.
Ta.

[marty]

why not organise a boys/boys and girls weekend away? have some rules - no cell phones, no work talk. sometimes it's worth the space (and $$$) just to refocus on what's important.

take him somwhere on the back of the bike
go fishing
go tramping - national park is awesome right now
i know a cool no power/phone place out back of raglan - awesome recharge place
go surfing
go flying
do the '4 play' at taupo (jet boat/bungy/helicopter ride/skydive) - all in 4 hours!

just some suggestions.....

[Blackadda]

Don't piss around, tell him straight.

I just decided to work 30 hours per week. I've woken up and realised I need to spend more time with the whanau (plus more time for riding of course).

I used to do Contract work (and some consulting) and I am considering going back soon. If you have a skill you can use contracting to other companies, you can make good money for hours taht suit you. If he's got a skill people are in demand of, then that's an opportuity.

Whatever you do don't piss around, get him sorted! Your a long time dead, make the most of it!

[Mooch]

As with the others , tell him that your worried for his health and that he may burn out quickly and not be able to provide for his family in the future. Another concern is that if he's driving at the moment he won't be able to consintrate and may take out himself or someone else.( I cut back long hours back a few years ago because of a near miss, was a real wake up call !).
I'd talk to him first before the wife . Tell him it's not right , and the family is missing out in other ways , time is the best thing to give to families not money.
Perhaps have a talk about other avenues of work where he could make a high wage for less hours. Later on have a talk with the wife on her views , if she's in agreement then form a comon approach.
I've had a couple of those check on a friend , something's wrong flash's myself. One time it resulted in me taking a mate to hospital because he'd drunkingly fallen through a glass door and had passed out , bleeding quite badly. I drove to his place , found him and was able to get him to hospital in time. We both think it was odd even today so follow your hunch !.

[Flyingpony]

after a 36 hour day!

That's crazy to be awake after so many hours with no sleep. I trust he doesn't ride/drive home afterwards. You need to tell your mate to reduce his hours but if he can't, then somebody must take him home and ensure he then gets some shut eye. He could also be very tired, forgetful and grumpy leading to family stress, not to mention starting to age quickly or suffer ill health. Such long hours can also destroy his family relationships and mojo. Have a yarn with him and his Mrs and raise your worries.

[texmo]

I wanted to say something atounding and insightful, but if he needs the money.... then maby he has to do the hours? When I was working similar hours 74hours + a week I was doing it for extra spending money though it was a breaze but when I stoped doing them my body finnialy realised what it was doing and went all bung for 2 weeks....

[SlowHand]

could even suggest that he spreads his hours out, I did a couple 60hr weeks, not so bad when its 5 12hr days, but then I dont have no wife or kids. I was not very talkative during weekdays tho. Is that an option?

And yeah, @ 36hr days, I would tell my mates to pull there head in.

[Sniper]

Mate, the bottom line is unless you beat some sense into him, he will burn out. I did a 48 hour day once or 46, I lost count. That was not pleasant but afterwards I thought that if I could do it once any other longer days don't matter.

You need to talk to him before he gets that mindset.

[myvice]

Thank to all!
I'll see him this weekend (If he's not working thu) and tell him as I see it.
Will keep you posted on the outcome, but I have my doubts that he will change anything.