Return to work after holidays-time to reassess

[Crasherfromwayback]

Whats not to like?

The size of the fucking place, the amount of people in the fucking place, and the traffic in the fucking place. Other than that...quite nice!

[onearmedbandit]

I can empathise a little with your situation. After my accident in '97 despite the loss of use of my arm and never-ending excruciating pain I was steadfast in my opinion that I should live a 'normal' life still. Took me 16 years to realise that that's not entirely possible. Dealing with all the stresses of work etc plus coping with my situation and believing I needed to live up to my high expectations of myself was slowly doing me in. About 3 years ago I decided I couldn't keep doing that to myself.

It's not been easy. My income has dropped significantly but I have enough to get by and enjoy life. Not working and feeling like I'm contributing and achieving has been hard to adjust to. Not having the social aspect of work is another thing. But my life is ten fold better now. I now have time to deal with the pain, I can take time out when I need to just let the pain do its thing rather than having to dedicate 100% of my concentration to just stand up let alone listen to a customer. I no longer have to convince myself through lies that everything is alright. I can now accept that it's not, and I can do that without having to worry about deadlines etc.

I don't know what will happen next in my life, but I'm comfortable with that.

[oldiebutagoody]

To the OP,

I can empathise with anyone questioning why they bother going on with a daily struggle but feeling trapped due to commitments.

One thing I learned is that there is only one constant in life, and that is change. It can be sort of comfortable to stick with a situation despite not being happy with it. However the result of that is stress, if you feel it is out of your control and what you do want to make you happy today is also out of your control.

Here is the thing, nothing is directly under our own control. So I made a concious decision not to try and "control" or minutely preplan my life or that of anyone else I come into contact with. I wake up each morning expecting the unexpected, and embracing what the day brings no matter what.

Don't get me wrong I still have goals and etc, but I leave that to my subconcious mind to make decisions and choices that will lead me there over time. I just don't get all twisted about not having what I want now, or the job I want now, or the freedom and money I wat NOW, NOW NOW......

After my Wife died I only made one decision,....just be open to change, open to anything that comes my way, good or bad as I probably had not control over it. However one big thing makes me confident in the future, and that is being open to change allows you to have a mindset open to taking BIG opportunities when they present themselves rather than holding back because you are comfortable or feeling trapped. Grab opportunities with both hands and wring them for all they are worth. Bad times and bad experiences are opportunities for change, you just have to be open to taking advantage,

As for the Wife, ask her whether she would rather live with you feeling depressed and anxious, or confident and adaptable. Which do you think is going to be better for you, her and your relationship. Even if no change, at least the conversation has been had.......which helps form a shared understanding of being open to grabbing opportunities instead of feeling helpless and trapped.

I have never felt so in control of my life, career, recreational riding, finances,....as when I gave up feeling like I had to stay the stable course. I have a freehold house (sold up the big one and bought smaller cheaper), two debt free bikes (bought older with cash rather than HP newer), on old crappy hiace van, always play money in the bank rather than credit cards and loans, I am now management (shifted from Auckland Council to a Lower North Island Council) but workers don't feel I micromanage them, so win win all around.

Make the change Bro.

To achieve something you have never achieved before, you have to do something you have never done before.

[Akzle]

I can empathise with anyone questioning why they bother going on with a daily struggle but feeling trapped due to commitments.

One thing I learned is that there is only one constant in life, and that is change. It can be sort of comfortable to stick with a situation despite not being happy with it. However the result of that is stress, if you feel it is out of your control and what you do want to make you happy today is also out of your control.

Here is the thing, nothing is directly under our own control. So I made a concious decision not to try and "control" or minutely preplan my life or that of anyone else I come into contact with. I wake up each morning expecting the unexpected, and embracing what the day brings no matter what.

Don't get me wrong I still have goals and etc, but I leave that to my subconcious mind to make decisions and choices that will lead me there over time. I just don't get all twisted about not having what I want now, or the job I want now, or the freedom and money I wat NOW, NOW NOW......

After my Wife died I only made one decision,....just be open to change, open to anything that comes my way, good or bad as I probably had not control over it. However one big thing makes me confident in the future, and that is being open to change allows you to have a mindset open to taking BIG opportunities when they present themselves rather than holding back because you are comfortable or feeling trapped. Grab opportunities with both hands and wring them for all they are worth. Bad times and bad experiences are opportunities for change, you just have to be open to taking advantage,

As for the Wife, ask her whether she woud rather live with you feeling depressed and anxious, or confident and adaptable. Which do you think is going to be better for you, her and your relationship. Even if no change, at least the conversation has been had.......which helps form a shared understanding of being open to grabbing opportunities instead of feeling helpless and trapped.

I have never felt so in control of my life, career, recreational riding, finances,....as when I gave up feeling like I had to stay the stable course. I have a freehold house, two debt free bikes, on old crappy hiace van, I am now management but workers don't feel I micromanage them, so win win all around.

Make the change Bro.

To achieve something you have never achieved before, you have to do something you have never done before.

rbgiafp .

[oldiebutagoody]

rbgiafp .

Awww c'mon Ax just pretend for a minute that I don't understand what that acronym means.

wtf?

[Akzle]

Awww c'mon Ax just pretend for a minute that I don't understand what that acronym means.

wtf?

"rep, but gremlin is a fucking pussy" - have too many infarctions so can't rep you now.

[oldiebutagoody]

" have too many infarctions .

Lmao

That happens as we all get older, but the thought is appreciated.

I hope the OP gets my post in the spirit it is intended.

[eldog]

Life is an amazing gift -

Often I would like to give my gift to someone else.
But it appears to have a 1 owner policy.

I don't know what it feels like to lose a limb (etc) or suffer a loss of a very close partner/friend/relative.

I had to make a big set of decisions recently.
Sell or fix up house - decided to fix it up slowly - approx. 30% done
strangely all the changes have gone smoothly even though it should have taken 1 month it has taken 4+
Expected work to continue with some changes.

Work has now changed and different opportunities have arisen.


Have been down south and kept an eye out for opportunities, not much happening.
I have to make a decision for the future.

keep with current situation and a new boss
or move and do something totally different as a job.

looks like I have a few more things to sort.

[Crasherfromwayback]

Make the change Bro.
.

This Cat.....

[old slider]

To the OP,

I can empathise with anyone questioning why they bother going on with a daily struggle but feeling trapped due to commitments.

One thing I learned is that there is only one constant in life, and that is change. It can be sort of comfortable to stick with a situation despite not being happy with it. However the result of that is stress, if you feel it is out of your control and what you do want to make you happy today is also out of your control.

Here is the thing, nothing is directly under our own control. So I made a concious decision not to try and "control" or minutely preplan my life or that of anyone else I come into contact with. I wake up each morning expecting the unexpected, and embracing what the day brings no matter what.

Don't get me wrong I still have goals and etc, but I leave that to my subconcious mind to make decisions and choices that will lead me there over time. I just don't get all twisted about not having what I want now, or the job I want now, or the freedom and money I wat NOW, NOW NOW......

After my Wife died I only made one decision,....just be open to change, open to anything that comes my way, good or bad as I probably had not control over it. However one big thing makes me confident in the future, and that is being open to change allows you to have a mindset open to taking BIG opportunities when they present themselves rather than holding back because you are comfortable or feeling trapped. Grab opportunities with both hands and wring them for all they are worth. Bad times and bad experiences are opportunities for change, you just have to be open to taking advantage,

As for the Wife, ask her whether she would rather live with you feeling depressed and anxious, or confident and adaptable. Which do you think is going to be better for you, her and your relationship. Even if no change, at least the conversation has been had.......which helps form a shared understanding of being open to grabbing opportunities instead of feeling helpless and trapped.

I have never felt so in control of my life, career, recreational riding, finances,....as when I gave up feeling like I had to stay the stable course. I have a freehold house (sold up the big one and bought smaller cheaper), two debt free bikes (bought older with cash rather than HP newer), on old crappy hiace van, always play money in the bank rather than credit cards and loans, I am now management (shifted from Auckland Council to a Lower North Island Council) but workers don't feel I micromanage them, so win win all around.

Make the change Bro.

To achieve something you have never achieved before, you have to do something you have never done before.

Nice post and you definitely made a great move coming to this part of the world. Living around here gives so much more than just a fresh breath of air each morning.

To Skippa, mate I admire your honesty and your obvious strength to get this far, being in constant pain and working around your lost limb is a lot to deal with.

I can not imagine losing a limb, but can relate to being in pain, pain can be so debilitating and I often wish for just one day pain free. losing the use of some important joints that make our so called normal life difficult is at times both frustrating and stressful if I let it.

Thankfully I had Kyokushin in my life, this helped develop over the years a stronger never give up attitude, I push myself to do as much of and as many of the things that I have enjoyed in life, I can and still do as often as possible hunt deer and fish, but I changed some of the types of terrain I hobble about in.
I can still do the 2 or 3 hour walks into the bush, it just takes me an hour or so longer. lol. I continue to train (in my own way) at the dojo in my 60s, I used to feel self conscious with my lack of ability with movement and loss of balance, but younger more abled persons have said they use me as their inspiration, it makes me feel better, and I reckon your an inspiration to many of us on here. Keep being an inspiration mate, that maybe your calling.

[jasonu]

I would love to be one of those guys that is happy just pottering around in the garden growing my own veges and stuff but I would get bored out of my tiny mind inside a week.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVQIxK_R3kI

[skippa1]

I can empathise a little with your situation. After my accident in '97 despite the loss of use of my arm and never-ending excruciating pain I was steadfast in my opinion that I should live a 'normal' life still. Took me 16 years to realise that that's not entirely possible. Dealing with all the stresses of work etc plus coping with my situation and believing I needed to live up to my high expectations of myself was slowly doing me in. About 3 years ago I decided I couldn't keep doing that to myself.

It's not been easy. My income has dropped significantly but I have enough to get by and enjoy life. Not working and feeling like I'm contributing and achieving has been hard to adjust to. Not having the social aspect of work is another thing. But my life is ten fold better now. I now have time to deal with the pain, I can take time out when I need to just let the pain do its thing rather than having to dedicate 100% of my concentration to just stand up let alone listen to a customer. I no longer have to convince myself through lies that everything is alright. I can now accept that it's not, and I can do that without having to worry about deadlines etc.

I don't know what will happen next in my life, but I'm comfortable with that.

Cheers, good thoughts. I am going to try and avoid that 16 years at all costs. Watch this space

[skippa1]

Nice post and you definitely made a great move coming to this part of the world. Living around here gives so much more than just a fresh breath of air each morning.

To Skippa, mate I admire your honesty and your obvious strength to get this far, being in constant pain and working around your lost limb is a lot to deal with.
Keep being an inspiration mate, that maybe your calling.

Cheers man, not so much pain though sometimes the phantoms are interesting.

you may be closer to the truth re my calling than you realise though to

[skippa1]

This Cat.....

Chur, could be on the money

[skippa1]

rbgiafp .

Chur ma chur