Return to work after holidays-time to reassess

[skippa1]

To the OP,

I can empathise with anyone questioning why they bother going on with a daily struggle but feeling trapped due to commitments.

One thing I learned is that there is only one constant in life, and that is change. It can be sort of comfortable to stick with a situation despite not being happy with it. However the result of that is stress, if you feel it is out of your control and what you do want to make you happy today is also out of your control.

Here is the thing, nothing is directly under our own control. So I made a concious decision not to try and "control" or minutely preplan my life or that of anyone else I come into contact with. I wake up each morning expecting the unexpected, and embracing what the day brings no matter what.

Don't get me wrong I still have goals and etc, but I leave that to my subconcious mind to make decisions and choices that will lead me there over time. I just don't get all twisted about not having what I want now, or the job I want now, or the freedom and money I wat NOW, NOW NOW......

After my Wife died I only made one decision,....just be open to change, open to anything that comes my way, good or bad as I probably had not control over it. However one big thing makes me confident in the future, and that is being open to change allows you to have a mindset open to taking BIG opportunities when they present themselves rather than holding back because you are comfortable or feeling trapped. Grab opportunities with both hands and wring them for all they are worth. Bad times and bad experiences are opportunities for change, you just have to be open to taking advantage,

As for the Wife, ask her whether she would rather live with you feeling depressed and anxious, or confident and adaptable. Which do you think is going to be better for you, her and your relationship. Even if no change, at least the conversation has been had.......which helps form a shared understanding of being open to grabbing opportunities instead of feeling helpless and trapped.

I have never felt so in control of my life, career, recreational riding, finances,....as when I gave up feeling like I had to stay the stable course. I have a freehold house (sold up the big one and bought smaller cheaper), two debt free bikes (bought older with cash rather than HP newer), on old crappy hiace van, always play money in the bank rather than credit cards and loans, I am now management (shifted from Auckland Council to a Lower North Island Council) but workers don't feel I micromanage them, so win win all around.

Make the change Bro.

To achieve something you have never achieved before, you have to do something you have never done before.

Some true word there......watch this space

[skippa1]

i'm fucken baws.

your human experience is a one way thing, why waste it playing the jewgame™

You must spread more.....yak yak yak

[skippa1]

Had similar cause to reflect earlier this week when the woman I work with had a seizure at work which has been shown to be due to a brain tumour. It is benign so she will return to work but she cannot drive for a year now which at age 69 leaves her at the good graces of others to transport her around and she does go out quite a bit. Make time to enjoy stuff while you still can. I was pretty determined that I was going to work until I am 68 but just reviewing that now.

Same sort of awakening, just the mechanics to sort

[skippa1]

I didn't want to be still working at 70 but there is always the temptation to work just a little longer, to pay for one more thing for the house or whatever. I managed to retire at 69. There is still stuff needs doing to the house but... One woman I worked with died suddenly and I thought bugger working all your life. My income is modest enough but I can still run the bike and afford the odd toy - fingers crossed.

Skippa your situation is different but I wish you well.

Cheers man, as Akz states, its a one way trip, make the best of it

[Akzle]

you ever see yourself on a 'sicle again?

could be a closed chapter (never say never) but also could be worth doing again...

[skippa1]

Im a little in the same boat apart from the losing the leg thing and we pretty much own the house now. But I dont want to be doing the same thing in 10 years time. Being 50 this year Ive decided to go back to study and upskill. Be the guy handing the shit down not the guy doing the shit.

Any chance to upskill?

I am the guy handing the shit down, I was the guy doing the shit.

handing the shit down isnt all peachy like I thought, the challenge has been interesting for 8 years but I am now in the second layer of shit hander downers in a large company(1800 staff) one layer down from the MD. i have over 100 staff and responsibility for $25m in revenue.........the pressure at this level of handing down is intense and whilst the rewards are pretty good, the expectations and tolerance for less than 100% performance of all of your staff is nil. You carry the can, the buck stops with you.....doing is better than dishing the doing

Re training is an option though too

[Akzle]

About 3 years ago I decided I couldn't keep doing that to myself.

"Akzle
needs trainer wheels on his bike


♂
Join Date:
6th May 2012"


... just sayin.

[oldiebutagoody]

Nice post and you definitely made a great move coming to this part of the world. Living around here gives so much more than just a fresh breath of air each morning.

Must meet up for a ride sometime.

[Akzle]

.

you may be closer to the truth re my calling than you realise though to

Re training is an option though too

do it for the kids


http://hopscotchforkids.co.nz/

[AllanB]

Back at work tomorrow as well after three weeks off. First week was trying not to fall asleep in the middle of the day. You know you go from a year of work deadlines and stress busy busy to ...... nothing! Takes it's toll.


Must work on work-life balance in 2017.


Must find a clean shirt to iron tonight as well

[oldiebutagoody]

Must find a clean shirt to iron tonight as well

You iron your shirts?????

[Akzle]

Must find a clean shirt to iron tonight as well

what is this "shirt" you speak of??? is that something poor people have to do?

[AllanB]

what is this "shirt" you speak of??? is that something poor people have to do?

What classy buggers wear to work. I draw the line at a tie ...... unless I need to be in court. Judges like ties.


Casual Friday is appreciated more after ironing shirts Monday - Thursday.

[Akzle]

What classy buggers wear to work. I draw the line at a tie ...... unless I need to be in court. Judges like ties.


Casual Friday is appreciated more after ironing shirts Monday - Thursday.

poor indeed.
also, my time is worth more than "judges", so i don't bother going to them without payment aforehand.

[awayatc]

Had huge rethink as well.....
Boat I was on lost contract....
To young (poor) to do nothing
To old (unmotivated) to learn new tricks.....

Compromise: took new job for couple or 3 trip 5 week trips..... take rest of year of.
Do different job on different type ship..... may come in handy ?

Am happy with outcome. ..