Hi everyone,
Great to see you most of you back again. Always good to see a few familiar
faces.
I must admit that I have been struggling to keep up with the pack (to use
a popular analogy), so instead of going riding today, I decided to change my
riding plan and to choose a slightly different line.
See what I did there?............... Oh , never mind.
Anyway, we've got plenty more material for you today. I have to say you're
a hardy bunch. After yesterday's punishment, I thought that a few of you
might have stayed away.
Even Cassina called in briefly to offer a few words of encouragement. It must
be that "Pied Piper" effect that he/she was talking about.
Though however he/she did call me a rude name ("sad old f**kwit", I think
he/she said).
Well, I've been called many names before, so you know, one more won't make
any difference. Though I thought that after yesterday, the "sad old" part
was sort of twisting the knife just a little.
But after reading Katman's thread of "Free Speech" last week, I realised he
was right. That if you can treat your fellow readers with respect and refrain
from calling them names, everyone gets along swimmingly and you can talk
about most things in a friendly and collegiate manner.
I'm not so sure about those jihadi chaps in Syria, though. They seem a little
more hardcore, and maybe not quite so tolerant. Luckily, none of them are
likely to be reading this thread.
Hang on a minute. It's my wife.
"No, dear, I'm not talking politics again. Yes, dear, I learned my lesson after
the last time".
We won't go there. I'm still having the occasional flashback. But the meds are
definitely helping.
Anyway, here we go. Picking up OAB's thread again at post #225.
#225 - "abs. The importance of abs". Well, I try to go to the gym at least
twice a week, and do a bit of upper body work.
No, Just because you capitalise them doesn't make them any bigger.
"Anti-lock Braking System", I hear from the background. Oh, yes. Now I'm
with you. But my VFR doesn't have it. It was the last of the VTEC's before
ABS was introduced. [ Trust b@#$%* Honda - always late to the party ]
Ah, it's OK. Cassina says it's over-rated, and you don't need it. Said that
he/she has been riding for 35 years, and it hasn't stopped him/her.
#225 - "You'll fail slow speed work and U turns if you ride a bigger machine.
It's not lack of ability".
I have to say those chaps on Hayabusa's and HD's (on the video clips that
some of the nice people on this forum posted) seemed to be managing OK.
#225 - "Driverless cars and motorcycles". Well, what will they think of next?
Mind you, if I got one of those driver-less motorcycles, it would probably go
out on rides by itself and leave me behind. Claiming that I was a hindrance
to overall machine stability, and contributing to uneven tyre wear.
"Squared off tyres", yes, I remember.
#236 - "Higher congestion on highways over holidays leads to lower traffic
speeds, and less crashes because everyone is going so slow".
Note to Self:
1. Email to MOT - Encourage people to go on holiday more often.
2. Email to NZTA - Don't bother fixing up the roads. Just put up more speed signs,
and make the allowable speed limits lower".
OAB's thread has just been an absolute mine of information. And the Government
wouldn't need to collect any more statistical data, nor commission any more of
those performance reports.
And just think of the cost saving. I think we may have a real winner here.
#238 - "Been driving about the same length of time, and I'm a lucky b@#$%* "
Yes, well, my wife tells me that every day. Maybe not in quite the same words.
#243 - "Why would you want to be able to do U turns more safely ?"
Well, now I can turn around and go in the opposite direction without having
to look for the nearest roundabout.
Do you know how few roundabouts there are? I must travel miles (sorry, kms)
each day looking...... sorry, enough about my problems.
#247 - "Electric motorcycles". Woo hoo ! If you think you're good on a petrol
machine, wait until you get an electric one.
Wonder if they provide power assisted U turn support as well ?
#247 - Another top tip about avoiding U turns on your riding test: Cheat and
use a smaller motorcycle.
Here I am, nearly 60, and I thought I knew most of the tricks and shortcuts.
Just shows you that you're never too old to learn (though I must admit that
Cassina does seem to show a little reluctance to learn). Must be shy.
#250 - "Go on, F@#$* off yourself" . Well, I have to say that they are
passionate about their motorcycling on this thread.
And such a grasp of the English language. Akzle, I hope you're paying attention.
#253 - George Formby chimed in here, and said he too was suffering headaches.
Said he was also experiencing dents in the wall and forehead.
Well, George, I have a top tip for you. You know those small offcuts of flooring
underlay that you've been hoarding in the garage ? Well, cut up a few squares
and just staple them to the wall at strategic spots. And you'll find that the
headaches will just vanish.
No, don't thank me. You can have that one free.
#254 - Back to ABS again. Oh, now Cassina says that ABS doesn't make you stop
any quicker. Just as well. That means that I don't have to get rid of the VFR
after all.
#256 - CasperNZ chimed in here and talked about needing to have a couple of
double malts. Yes, I can sympathise. Some of the threads can be exasperating,
and could easily drive a man to drink.
But it's probably easier just to switch off the PC and go for a ride.
#261 - "How to cheat at the riding school riding exercises". This Cassina seems
to know lots about riding schools, even though he/she has never been on a course.
Anyway, get a list of the planned riding activities, and simply do just the ones you
want to do (or feel competent to do). Don't worry about all the other activities.
And above all, don't feel guilty that you can't do them. And it's much quicker and
cheaper.
You know, this thread just keeps giving and giving. I have learned so much in
the past three days.
#263 - MadBikeBoy chimed in here with some interesting points:
- "Size doesn't count" . Oh, size of the bike, you mean. OK.
- "It's not the size that's important, but what you do with it". Oh, it's not
the size of your machine, but your skill level. Right, with you now.
- "ABS is great for those people who suffer from panic attacks". Sorry, no,
it's great for those people who don't practice panic stops.
Sorry, my attention is waning a little. My mind is just a veritable whirlpool
of facts at the moment. I'll go get a coffee and we'll resume again in about
10 minutes.
Back again. My. How time flies when you're having fun. You are, aren't you?
#264 - "Riding schools offer you protection from screw-ups".
Wonder if that means I can cancel the motorcycle insurance ?
#264 - "No such thing as shit happening" : Thought that we had covered that
one yesterday. I must say that some people on this forum do seem a little (well,
you know) anally focused.
#266 - MadBikeBoy chimed in again:
- Ah, the 6P principle. Yes, I remember that from my engineering days. Check !
- "You're still going to be a deluded C@#$%*". Well, I hope he wasn't speaking
about me.
I've been very religious about staying on my meds (just as prescribed), and the
delusions of grandeur (after going on riding courses) have been getting fewer
and fewer.
#271 - ABS (again). They're really do keep banging on about this ABS.
- "Get cheaper ABS". Don't go for the expensive stuff. It's over-rated. Check !
#277 - NZSpokes chimed in here and said his dog had both ABS and Traction
Control. Cost him $4k.
Well, that explains why our labrador is so poor at cornering, especially on
the vinyl coming into the kitchen. I'll make sure that the next one has TC
as well. Teach me to get a cheap one from the pound.
Just out of curiosity, how did you get the wife to approve such an expensive
one ? I mean, ABS and TC is great, but $4k ? Really ?
Oh, sh@#$ , I'm sorry, he said "Dog carrier". He meant his vehicle. Sorry, the
coffee hasn't quite fully kicked in yet.
Then the thread sort of disintegrated into comparing the size of their machines,
and who had the smallest turning circle.
#281 - My, that Cassina has expensive tastes in cars. Said to get a BMW, a Jaguar
or a Landrover Discovery. Must be that bullet-proof thing again. Or maybe to help
teach other riders to stay on their own side of the road.
#282 - MadBikeBoy chimed in and said "Don't buy a BMW, a Jaguar or a Discovery.
Buy a Volvo".
and then:
"You don't have a f@#$%* clue" and "You're seriously f@#$%* in the head".
Man, they're passionate about their cars as well. And I thought the Holden - Ford
crowd were bad.
#283 - MadBikeBoy chimed in yet again (let's not always see the same hands in class)
and said:
"Sh@#$. I fell for it. I'm trying to have a reasoned discussion with an imbecile". I'm not
quite sure who that missile was aimed at.
Well, MBB, I can help you there. My dear old Dad (bless his soul) always used to say that
it was a waste of time and effort trying to reason with a fool, because:
- It brings you down to their level.
- The fool is much better at arguing down at that level.
- It doesn't advance the discussion, and no-one wins". And winning is the important
part. It doesn't matter if you're not right.
And you know, he was absolutely right.
Besides, it's much more satisfying to use humour and to poke fun at them. And according
to Cassina's "Pied Piper" theory, they'll probably come back for more.
#290 - "If you think I'm spouting Jack Sh@#$" and "Maybe there is some (no) truth
in it".
Far be it from me to criticise. I'm just trying to keep an open mind.
#290 - I do wish Cassina would use more / shorter sentences, and space them out
a little more. It really would make it easier for everyone to read.
I mean, in just the space of one paragraph, we cover:
- "Things happen more slowly in riding school". Must be some kind of relativistic
space time thing, depending upon how fast you are going.
- "None of my four crashes have been my fault". Cassina does seem to go on about
that point a bit. Almost as if he/she thinks people don't believe him/her.
- "Two of my accidents were due to dogs". It's OK. I have already discounted those
two accidents. Note to Self: Keep the labrador on a lead at all times, especially
when we go down to Christchurch to see the inlaws.
- "Don't lane split, because if you get caught and sh@#$* happens". Well, we've
all been caught short at one time or another.
And even worse when you mis-judge it and get your panniers wedged between two
cars and sh@#$* yourself.
Bet that's what has happened to Cassina, and he/she is not letting on. I mean,
I'd keep it pretty quiet too ( if it was me ).
- ABS (again), and how riders on machines without ABS are "real bikers". Well,
so much for the "be humble" message yesterday.
- "They are going to jack up the ACC levies" (again). Well, I'm not going to vote
for that Nick Smith again if that's his plan.
Sorry, hang on. It's my wife again. Back in a minute.
[ Mute On ]
"What, my love?".
"Nick Smith isn't in charge of ACC any more".
"Isn't he?".
"No. He is in charge of Dept of Conservation now. He's been put in charge
of polluting our waterways now, or some such initiative. In conjunction
with the dairy farmers. Saw it on the TV the other night".
"Is that right? Well, you learn something new every day".
[ Mute Off ]
The wife. She's great. I love her to bits. And smart too. And she has put up with me
for the last 35 years.
Yes, I'd be the first (well, maybe second behind Cassina) to say that my wife deserves
a medal. And it's absolutely true.
That might be the only time I'd agree with Cassina, but he/she would be right on that point.
Which just goes to prove you can't be wrong all the time.
#291 - NZSpokes chimed in and said "Don't get jammed in the past. Move on, move on".
I'll have to do likewise as the wife said to stop playing on the PC and go finish cutting
the lawns. Especially since it has been such a nice day in the Capital.
Anyway, awfully nice to have been talking with you all again today. I enjoyed it immensely
even if you didn't.
Just looking forward, I see that:
#307 - RastusCat has just chimed in with some good advice. Short and sweet. And easy to
understand (well, for most of us).
You know, I'd almost swear he was a motorcycle cop by the way he writes.
#310 - Target Fixation. Oh goody. Something to look forward to tomorrow.
Alright folks. All for now. Safe riding ...... and as always, watch out for those damn dogs.
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I will buy you beer if I'm ever allowed back into the capitol.
Originally Posted by Viking01
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