You're going to stick your finger where ... !?

[JimO]

turns out the inner sphincter wasn't releasing

that will be axles problem

[YellowDog]

Not quite correct. The blood test is merely a screening test, the finger probe checks the degree of abnormality.

Shame guys are so embarrassed about this examination...

I missed last year's annual check. They kept me waiting for ages and then I was told that my doctor was dealing with an emergency and the drop dead gorgeous super fit, 28 year old stand-in would see me. When she asked me how she could help me, I told here that I thought I had a bad cold, but it seems to have cleared up now

[Akzle]

I missed last year's annual check. They kept me waiting for ages and then I was told that my doctor was dealing with an emergency and the drop dead gorgeous super fit, 28 year old stand-in would see me. When she asked me how she could help me, I told here that I thought I had a bad cold, but it seems to have cleared up now

i think the line you were looking for is "i think i might be allergic to blowjobs, would you mind checking?"

[Moi]

Apparently part of the procedure at the end is them sucking out some of the air they pump in. It's a fartectomy!!

I believe the machine they use is Danish, you can tellus after if I was correct...



My after such procedure story is here.

[Big Dog]

Information I gleaned after my last visit to the hose doctor... they don't clean the scope or hose between uses because anything that would be effective would destroy the equipment.

Risk of cross contamination is low add long as people are honest on their check in forms.

[Black Knight]

So that's why HIV is on the increase.

[Big Dog]

So that's why HIV is on the increase.

Last I heard the biggest growth market in fresh diagnosis is in retired boomers.
Cashed up, morally corrupt and with no delusions of a long life lead to few precautions.

[jonbuoy]

I have the bloods done once a year, a nurse friend mentioned false positives from both the finger and the blood test are possible. Both her and my GP have said another indicator is being able to piss a good strong stream. Not saying anyone should skip either the finger or the blood test but if your having flow issues when you piss get yourself down to the docs quick smart.

[Oakie]

Oh boy

HA HA HA. After typing 'Oh boy' above I suddenly had to leave the room. I have my colonoscopy tomorrow so today is 'purge and starve' day. 8am, I took my powdered drink and the 3 little pills 'to get the bowels moving' and then sat down at the computer to wait the '1 to 6 hours' for things to start happening. Took just 18 minutes from pills to "get out of my way..."

Now where was I? Oh yeah ... Oh boy! It's 'purge and starve' day today prior to my colonoscopy tomorrow. All the people I know who have done this say that the preparations of the day before are worse than the actual procedure the following day. I'm going to sit at home and do some work work on the computer until hunger makes me incapable of doing good work and then I have Isle of Man and Superbikes recorded to watch plus a couple of WWII docos.

It's going to be an interesting day.

[Bass]

Billy Connolly's depiction of "purge and starve" is absolutely priceless

[Tazz]

Bugger that for a job!

[Honest Andy]

Bugger that for a job!

That's possibly an unfortunate turn of phrase...

[Oakie]

Colonoscopy done and dusted. All good down there so yay!

Man those are good drugs! My procedure notes showed I had a generally comfortable time of it with only two moments of discomfort. Stuffed if I can remember that. I remember the bit where he lubed my date ... I remember the last couple of minutes as they withdrew Hubble but I have no recollection of the intervening 25 minutes.

If you're thinking you should do this guys, just do it. It's a doddle. And it can save your life.

[oldrider]

Colonoscopy done and dusted. All good down there so yay!

Man those are good drugs! My procedure notes showed I had a generally comfortable time of it with only two moments of discomfort. Stuffed if I can remember that. I remember the bit where he lubed my date ... I remember the last couple of minutes as they withdrew Hubble but I have know recollection of the intervening 25 minutes.

If you're thinking you should do this guys, just do it. It's a doddle. And it can save your life.

True! - Saved mine and if you don't have insurance or the means the delays in the public system "might" just be your death warrant! (opinion not known fact)

[pritch]

True! - if you don't have insurance or the means the delays in the public system "might" just be your death warrant!

When I required a dose (or 40) of radio therapy my Doc told me there was no waiting list. He was right. First I had to go for a scan to check the bits were exactly where they were supposed to be, they said I would probably start the treatment in a week or so. I explained that I was about to head off on a bike tour of the South Island, (funny who you meet on those). She asked what was to be my first day back at work, I told her, and she said that would probably be my first scheduled treatment. And so it came to pass.

There was no shagging about at all, but that may only apply to the middle of the North Island.