A two Part Story.

Part one:

Young fellow not long out of school and looking for a job remembers he has an uncle who is the foreman on a construction site in Auckland, so he goes to ask him. Uncle says there's only one job going... driving the tower crane. Lad is keen so they climb the ladder into the cab where the uncle describes the operation.

"This button moves the car forward, this one moves the car back, this one rotates the boom clockwise, this one anti clockwise. This one raises the hook and this one lowers the hook. There's a jug in the corner to make coffee 'cos it takes too long to go down for smoko and back up again. Make sure you take a crap before you come to work. If you want a piss you just go outside and piss off the end of the boom. You're so high the wind will dissipate it before it hits the ground. As a matter of fact I need one now. So he goes out and is pissing off the boom while the young fella's trying to memorise the controls and accidentally moves the car forward and knocks the uncle off the end.

Part two:

A pom arrives home after his OE, is at a pub having a beer with his mates and telling them of his experiences.

"You know, Auckland's a funny place... full of sex maniacs. I was walking down Queen Street past a construction site on a warm day when this gorgeous blonde in a mini skirt came round the corner and was walking towards me when a gust of wind caught her skirt and blew it up over her face. She wasn't wearing knickers! Next thing, this old guy comes swooping down out of the sky with his dick in his hand yelling,
C U N T!"