I like that song "eight of spades"
Rasta Ratskins
I like that song "eight of spades"
Only a Rat can win a Rat Race!
No8 Wire Extraordinaire
The pleasure is to pay, makes no difference if you're gay
I don't share your lube, the only card I need is the Eight of Spades
The Eight of Spades
Hitcher would have been proud.
Don't you look at my accountant.
He's the only one I've got.
Forum whore
Where is Hitcher?
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
"One hit wonder"...Originally Posted by Scuba_Steve
Really?
Eight #1 singles and eight #1 albums = "1 hit wonder" in a backwater shithole.
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
No8 Wire Extraordinaire
Hmm, yeah was wondering that.
Last seen here Oct 17
Don't you look at my accountant.
He's the only one I've got.
Forum whore
Well thank fuck for that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOAz4nPNvLI
Hardcore Biker
I love that episode! Also when Motorhead are playing and the camera keeps changing to the wrong guitar during the solos.. Agonising!
Now I'm listening to...
Two of my favourite bands mashed together!
Geriatric hoon
We had a resident Blues singer in Max but I don't know if there are any others. Anyhoo wise words of guidance for any in need.
REQUIREMENTS FOR SINGING THE BLUES
1. Most Blues begin, "Woke up this morning..."
2. "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, 'less you stick something nasty in the next line like, "I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town."
3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes...sort of:
"Got a good woman with the meanest face in town.
Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town.
Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher, and she weigh 500 pounds."
4. The Blues is not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch - ain't no way out.
5. Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks.
Blues don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles.
Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train.
Jet aircraft an' state-sponsored motor pools ain't even in the running.
Walkin' plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.
6. Teenagers can't sing the Blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet. Adults sing the Blues.
In Blues, "adulthood" means being old enough for the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.
7. Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or any place in Canada.
Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinical depression.
Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City are still the best place to have the Blues.
You cannot have the blues in any place that don't get rain.
8. A man with male pattern baldness ain't the blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is.
Breaking your leg cause you skiing is not the blues.
Breaking your leg 'cause a alligator be chomping on it is.
9. You can't have no Blues in a office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong.
Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.
10. Good places for the Blues:
a. Highway
b. Jailhouse
c. Empty bed
d. Bottom of a whiskey glass
Bad places:
a. Dillard's
b. Gallery Openings
c. Ivy League Institutions
d. Golf Courses
11. No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, 'less you happen to be a old ethnic person, and you slept in it.
12. Do you have the right to sing the Blues?
Yes, if:
a. You older than dirt
b. You blind
c. You shot a man in Memphis
d. You can't be satisfied
No, if:
a. you have all your teeth
b. you were once blind but now can see
c. the man in Memphis lived
d. you have a 401K or trust fund
13. Blues is not a matter of color. It's a matter of bad luck.
Tiger Woods cannot sing the blues. Sonny Liston could.
Ugly white people also got a leg up on the blues.
14. If you ask for water and your darlin' give you gasoline, it's the Blues.
Other acceptable Blues beverages are:
a. Cheap Wine
b. Whiskey or Bourbon
c. Muddy Water
d. Nasty Black Coffee
The following are NOT Blues beverages:
a. Perrier
b. Chardonnay
c. Snapple
d. Slim Fast
15. If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death.
Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die.
So is the electric chair, substance abuse, and dying lonely on a broke down cot.
You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or getting liposuction.
16. Some Blues names for women:
a. Sadie
b. Big Mama
c. Bessie
d. Fat River Dumpling
17. Some Blues names for men:
a. Joe
b. Willie
c. Little Willie
d. Big Willie
18. Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Debbie, and Heather cannot sing the Blues, no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.
19. Make your own Blues name Starter Kit:
a. name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc)
b. first name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi, etc)
c. last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc)
For example, Blind Lime Jefferson, Jakeleg Lemon Johnson or Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, etc. (Well, maybe not "Kiwi.")
20. I don't care how tragic your life: if you own a computer, you cannot sing the blues.
There is a grey blur, and a green blur. I try to stay on the grey one. - Joey Dunlop
Hardcore Biker
I got one...
Woke up this morning
I got one leg missing
How do I get around.
Boom boom.
"channellling the Pleideans"
Woke up this morning
World turned upside down
Lord above things aint been the same
Since the blues walked in our town
- not somebody from the Delta in 1930, but someone from Brixton in 2006
I thought elections were decided by angry posts on social media. - F5 Dave
Forum whore
Play the Blues backwards - you get your woman back, your truck back and finally your dog back.
it's not a bad thing till you throw a KLR into the mix.
those cheap ass bitches can do anything with ductape.
(PostalDave on ADVrider)
Geriatric hoon
Nah that's country music. White man's blues.
There is a grey blur, and a green blur. I try to stay on the grey one. - Joey Dunlop
Wearing Hi-Viz Black.
then stop drinking and get a job (to complete the joke).
TOP QUOTE: “The problem with socialism is that sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”
Forum whore
I'm familiar with that, 400 children and no copping a feel.
Manopausal.
Geriatric hoon
5. Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks.
Blues don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles.
Was thinking about this. Terraplane shoulda got a mention and Mercedes Benz coulda - courtesy of Janice.
There is a grey blur, and a green blur. I try to stay on the grey one. - Joey Dunlop
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