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Thread: Top Reasons Why Santa Must Be A Woman

  1. #1
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    21st June 2016 - 08:52
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    Smile Top Reasons Why Santa Must Be A Woman

    Top Reasons Why Santa
    Must Be A Woman

    Think about it...Christmas
    is not only warm,fuzzy
    and nurturing-but it
    involes lots of planning
    and organization-which
    means a woman has to be
    in charge of it! Here are
    some other reasons why
    Santa can't possibly be a
    man:

    7: Men can't pack a bag.

    6: Men would rather be
    dead than caught
    wearing red vevet.

    5: Men don't answer their
    mail.

    4: Men would refuse to
    allow their belly to be
    described as a "bowful
    of jelly."

    3: Men aren't interested in
    stockings unless
    somebody's wearing
    them.

    2: Having to do the "Ho
    Ho Ho" thing would
    seriously inhibit their
    ability to pick
    up women.

    1: Being responsible for
    Christmas would require
    a commintment.

    So thanks ladies for putting
    the "Merry" in Christmas,
    we guys actually do
    appreciate it!!!!

  2. #2
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    21st June 2016 - 08:52
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    Smile 7 Signs The Santa At The Mall Is Nuts

    7 signs the Santa at the mall is nuts

    1: Every so often,snaps into a
    Slim Jim and growls,"You've
    been bad and now you're goin
    down punk!"

    2: Keeps going on about how
    the New York Times should
    publish his 35,000 word list of
    who;s naughty and nice.

    3: Despite massive
    photographic evidence to the
    contary,claims to have never
    worn white gloves or shiny
    black boots.

    4: Right berfore souvenir photo
    is snapped he whispers,"This
    year,you aint gettin squat!"

    5: When kids say,"My daddy
    says you're not real Santa,"
    he responds with,"He's not
    really your daddy.

    6: That snowy beard?
    Nothin
    but nose hair.

    7: While it's admittdly a nifty
    trick,blowing smoke rings out
    of his tracheotomy hole is just
    scaring the kiddies.

  3. #3
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    Smile A Cats Rendition Of 12 Days Of Christmas

    A cats rendition of 12 days of Christmas

    On the twelfth day of
    Christmas my human gave to
    me:

    Twelve bags of catnip!
    Eleven tarter pounce treats,
    Ten onaments hanging,
    Nine wads of kleenex,
    Eight peacock feathers,
    Seven stolen Q-tips,
    Six feathered balls,
    Five MILK JUG RINGS!
    Four munchy house plants,
    Three running faucets,
    Two fuzzy mousies,
    and a hamste-e-er in a plastic
    ball!!

  4. #4
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    14th July 2006 - 21:39
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    You'd get a lot more Dads to the mall if that had female Santas walking about ....
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  5. #5
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    17th July 2003 - 23:37
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    Quote Originally Posted by AllanB View Post
    You'd get a lot more Dads to the mall if that had female Santas walking about ....
    Yes, indeed you wood.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    20th June 2007 - 17:08
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    Unfortunately, this is Santa these days.
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  7. #7
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    17th July 2003 - 23:37
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