Carpentry devine inspiration

**F5 Dave** · 27th February 2021, 19:53

So I've been making a locked section within our pantry to stop our daughter either eating contraband or making 'magic mixtures' from expensive ingredients. Often at 2:30am .

Well, I'm no carpenter. It all gets ugly when the shelves have a bit of sag and maybe aren't dead straight. Then I'm trying to put a cupboard section between 2 shelves. And then line up hinges and doors. Geez nothing lines up square. I'm accepting that the doors won't line up anywhere near straight. At least it will be hidden when outer doors are closed.

Seems I'm a bit crap at this. My wife pointed out that I should have prayed to the patron Saint of carpentry. Which I assume is Jesus. After all he was a carpenter until he was 31 when he decided to start telling everyone he was the son of God.

Oh glorious Jesus. Fix my cupboard doors you lying little cunt.

**ellipsis** · 27th February 2021, 21:24

...hahahahahahaah...

**Laava** · 27th February 2021, 21:59

Might be cheaper to just spring for some sleeping pills for the daughter?

**R650R** · 27th February 2021, 23:07

Prob not you, common for walls to be warped of not perfect straight etc, timbers always moving it’s whole life, moistures, heat, cool rinse repeat....

Been watching snippets of Scott Brown Carpentry on YouTube he does great vids covering all those various problems. Although he’s usually got luxury of larger scale renovations repacking a bare wall to perfection.
Old American dude the essential craftsman well worth watching too

We had a kitchen wall that looked fine until the new straight kitchen bench was upagainst it!

**mashman** · 28th February 2021, 08:55

Poor carp...

**george formby** · 28th February 2021, 09:03

Oh, I feels. Our cottage was started in the 1860's, not a flat surface or straight line in it.

My first ever shelf, a floater, was a work of art until I tried to fit it. The bloody wall is curved like a bow!!!

Why not make a lockable box which will sit between the shelves? Dun't have to line anything up, just bolt it in.

**Blackbird** · 28th February 2021, 09:23

Good for you! Our eldest son recently wanted me to build a decent-sized garden gate for his house as he has even less carpentry tools than me. Haven't done a lot of carpentry so watched lots of videos on YouTube and found some great ones by Mitre 10. I'm no carpenter but it turned out ok by adapting a few techniques and now I've got some extra transferrable skills. Just hoping my wife doesn't build up a bloody big task list now

**F5 Dave** · 28th February 2021, 09:24

Ok laugh away. After 2hrs of adjusting edges I just wanted to get the thing operational. And now it is. Eggs, spray oil, (dont ask, makes a mess on windows), baking, and sweet things stored away. Actually a fair bit of space, but its already pretty crowded.

I'll remake the rh door cut on an angle to match at a later date, but today's job if fixing the oil leak on the Triumph (oh the ironing).

Lining up the hinges to be concealed yet swing the door in the right place was doing my head in. So screw it, I did it the ugly way, especially when I realised it was stronger going through the melanin coating.

I can remove the whole thing to std in 3min with electric driver. This is just a step in the arms race.

Have fun over analyzing the random contents still visible. And no. I haven't eaten baked beans, instant noodles or spaghetti from a can in my life.

**Laava** · 28th February 2021, 09:51

Get a pot of that coffee brewing, I'm coming around for a feed of Tom Yum!

**Viking01** · 28th February 2021, 10:06

Originally Posted by F5 Dave

Ok laugh away. After 2hrs of adjusting edges I just wanted to get the thing operational. And now it is. Eggs, spray oil, (dont ask, makes a mess on windows), baking, and sweet things stored away. Actually a fair bit of space, but its already pretty crowded.

I'll remake the rh door cut on an angle to match at a later date, but today's job if fixing the oil leak on the Triumph (oh the ironing).

Lining up the hinges to be concealed yet swing the door in the right place was doing my head in. So screw it, I did it the ugly way, especially when I realised it was stronger going through the melanin coating.

I can remove the whole thing to std in 3min with electric driver. This is just a step in the arms race.

Have fun over analyzing the random contents still visible. And no. I haven't eaten baked beans, instant noodles or spaghetti from a can in my life.

This looks like a challenge. Well, it would be, to any of my two lads.

So, what are you going to do when the daughter gets out the Philips head screw driver and takes out the screws of the right hand hinges (and the doors in the process) ? Just asking.

**george formby** · 28th February 2021, 10:40

Originally Posted by Blackbird

Just hoping my wife doesn't build up a bloody big task list now

Ah, the slippery slope of "yes dear".

I mentioned that I would try and make some shelves from timber we had inherited a few years ago. The moment some spare time appeared it became a priority. After much fear of fucking up and fear of a bloody big router I did make the shelves.

Whatever you do, make sure it's a poor job!

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Otherwise the size of the list and expectations increase dramatically.....

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**Blackbird** · 28th February 2021, 10:56

Originally Posted by george formby

Ah, the slippery slope of "yes dear".

I mentioned that I would try and make some shelves from timber we had inherited a few years ago. The moment some spare time appeared it became a priority. After much fear of fucking up and fear of a bloody big router I did make the shelves.

Whatever you do, make sure it's a poor job!

Otherwise the size of the list and expectations increase dramatically.....]

Hey, that's a seriously nice job - but just the thing to keep your skills in demand from your infinitely better half forever

. MY CEO currently wants a bookshelf expressly for her family history research but I'm off the hook on that one as she wants one to match the rustic macrocarpa one we had made a few years ago for general books. I'm quite happy to cough up and have another one made rather than spending time and screwing up the job myself. A gate is one thing, building shelves to your high standard is another thing entirely

**TheDemonLord** · 28th February 2021, 11:24

So, to add to this - I'm in the process of renovating the Master Bedroom - one section of wall had a hairline crack that no amount of sanding and filling in with Gibstop putty would fix it.

Eventually I decided the cut out a V section, in order to get a greater surface area for the putty to adhere to and to cover the crack...

Turns out that it's actually a thin strip of GIB (about 20 mm wide) that runs down that section of the wall, to account for the fact that the 2 larger sheets of GIB don't line up. To make matters worse, this thin strip of GIB isn't over a Stud.

I widened the gap a bit to about 30mm - so that some of the strip would be over the Stud, which in theory should give it enough structural strength - I don't particularly feel like re-GIBbing an entire room - that's a bit outside my current Time and Skill limitations.

After much swearing and cutting/trimming/breaking/cutting/trimming/breaking (repeat several times) a replacement GIB strip - I got it in, Taped it, puttied it, sanded it down - looking good, painted it - Life was good, wall looked nice...

Then after one of the recent Jolts - guess where there is a hairline crack again....

**george formby** · 28th February 2021, 11:53

Originally Posted by Blackbird

Hey, that's a seriously nice job - but just the thing to keep your skills in demand from your infinitely better half forever

. MY CEO currently wants a bookshelf expressly for her family history research but I'm off the hook on that one as she wants one to match the rustic macrocarpa one we had made a few years ago for general books. I'm quite happy to cough up and have another one made rather than spending time and screwing up the job myself. A gate is one thing, building shelves to your high standard is another thing entirely

Hmmmmm, food for thought. I still have some big slabs of mac left and a corner shelf has been requested. Requested? It was said nicely but I know a command when I hear one...

Nice, natural, curvy wood. Lovely.

As per my second pic, Kim Jong Un has me knocking down a chimney and the wall it sits in so we can have a decent living room. The gib is glued and screwed to the rotting timbers behind it, ah, that's what a big pry bar is for. Structural gib, too. Solid stuff.

Might help with shakes..

**jellywrestler** · 28th February 2021, 11:58

Originally Posted by F5 Dave

Ok laugh away. After 2hrs of adjusting edges I just wanted to get the thing operational. And now it is. Eggs, spray oil, (dont ask, makes a mess on windows), baking, and sweet things stored away. Actually a fair bit of space, but its already pretty crowded.

I'll remake the rh door cut on an angle to match at a later date, but today's job if fixing the oil leak on the Triumph (oh the ironing).

Lining up the hinges to be concealed yet swing the door in the right place was doing my head in. So screw it, I did it the ugly way, especially when I realised it was stronger going through the melanin coating.

I can remove the whole thing to std in 3min with electric driver. This is just a step in the arms race.

Have fun over analyzing the random contents still visible. And no. I haven't eaten baked beans, instant noodles or spaghetti from a can in my life.

and you have the gall to criticise some peoples bike builds.....